Single sister refuses to give up grandmother's wedding ring to older brother, he accuses her of “hoarding” family heirloom out of spite: ‘[I] have an actual use for it’

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    WAITA refusing give up my grandmother's engagement ring my brother's proposal?

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    So, this has turned into a huge family fight, and I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. My grandmother left me her engagement ring in her will. It's a beautiful vintage piece, very sentimental to me, because I was extremely close with her growing up. I've kept it safely stored for years.
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    Here's where things get messy: My older brother (30M) is planning to propose to his girlfriend (28F) and recently asked if he could have our grandmother's ring. He said it would mean a lot to him to keep it in the family, and that his girlfriend loves vintage rings.
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    I told him no. This ring was left to me, and I intend to either keep it or use it for myself someday. He got really upset, saying I was being selfish and that it's
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    "just sitting in a box" while he has an actual use for it. My parents sided with him, saying that as the eldest, it should have gone to him anyway, and that I'm being difficult for no reason.
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    Things escalated when my brother said I was "hoarding" the ring out of spite and that I should want it to stay in the family. I told him I do-it's staying with me. Now, he's barely speaking to me, and my parents keep texting me about how hurt he is. AITA for refusing to give up the ring?
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    cryssHappy You are NTA. I'm 70 f and a grandma. What I give to one grandchild is for that grandchild. Your brother is cheap. It is YOUR ring. KEEP IT!
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    kalanisingh Show this comment to your parents op and remind them that your grandma was actually a real person who made a decision about that ring, and it's absolutely disgusting for everyone to be trying to steamroll that decision now that she isn't here to defend herself.
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    ksarahsarah27 Not to mention her brother is wrong about the whole thing of keeping it in the family. If a ring is to stay in the family then it follows the women in the family, not the sons. The divorce rate is
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    still 50%, so the chances of them getting divorced are fairly high. If he gives it to a woman outside the family and they get divorced, OP will never see that ring again.
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    And if she wanted the oldest to have it, then that's what she would've done in her will. She didn't. She gave it to a woman in the family so it stayed there. Not to mention, the ring will mean nothing to his girlfriend except the fact that it's a vintage ring. Did she ever even meet your grandmother?
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    Upsidedownmeow Not to mention grandma probably gave it to the female in the family so it would stay in the family. Giving it to the brother to give to her fiancée means in the event of divorce she walks away with it and just like that it's left the family.
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    Fluffy_Tap_935 100% this. My grandma was firm in the belief that family jewelry goes to females so that it can't be divorced out of the family.
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    She bent the rule once and gave my uncle her mother's gorgeous diamond ring to propose with. Marriage ended in divorce, no kids. Ex- aunt was a class act and gave the ring back to my grandma because she knew it meant a great deal to her. My grams heart would have been broken to lose that ring from the family. It's now my sister's wedding band.
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    Red-Angel_ Right there with you! I'm a grandma to one boy, three girls, but my will states who gets what & why. If I were to suspect one of them of the utter disregard for my wishes, I would come back from the ether to haunt them! NTA, bro can pony up for his own ring to start their own "vintage" line of succession.
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    Legitimate Myth_3816 Point out to him that rings are traditionally passed down through the female line because then it will always be in the family whereas if he and his bride to be divorce there's a chance your family will not get the ring back. So you are, in fact, keeping it in the family by NOT giving it to them. NTA
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    Organic-Willow2835 Tell your parents you've always loved their house. They should give it to you. Right now. Because you want it. Then, ask them why they won't give it to you. But, if they give it to you right now it would stay in the family...
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    Basically flip the argument they've been making around about their house instead of the ring. Tell them its the same with the ring. The ring belongs to you. It was given to you by your grandma
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    and it is your property. Would they like it if someone demanded they part with something they loved just because that person wanted it? Your brother wanted a free engagament ring. NTA.
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    Miss_Melody_Pond He can be hurt all he wants to, the ring is not rightfully or legally his. Tell Mr Cheapskate to go buy his own vintage ring and not to be such an entitled j. Mum & dad also need to back up and know their place.
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    berryitaly Your brother and parents can go pound sand. "As the eldest" if your grandma wanted the ring to go to the eldest, she'd have said so in the will.
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    Your grandmother wanted you to have the ring. She knew you'd treasure it. Once she gave you the ring, it became yours.
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    Potatoesop Also, as another commenter pointed out, there's a good reason why family rings are usually passed down woman to woman. NTA OP, remind your family that your grandmother doesn't cease to exist just because she did, her wish was for YOU to have that ring...end of story.

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