23-year-old woman surprises husband with positive pregnancy test on his birthday, he tells her it was a “stupid gift” and gives her the silent treatment for days: “I think he didn’t really want to have kids”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 17, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Relationships are some of the most poignant things that affects our lives. Have you ever been feeling good, fresh, on top of the world, and suddenly your boyfriend or girlfriend says something to you to just completely take you out of your good mood, your vibe? And then you feel stressed and heavy that you have to deal with something hard when all you wanted was to feel like you're having a good time? It's okay if it's about something really serious and important, but as people we tend towards pettiness. Sometimes your partner comes to you about something, and you're just absolutely confused why this is a big deal, or why you're talking about it. To you, nothing really happened, and you're not sure why they're even upset. 

In the story below, the protagonist feels as though she didn't do anything wrong, and she did a gesture she thought would be sweet for her husband. It's his birthday, and she decided to surprise him with a positive pregnancy test. As a man who apparently wanted children, this should be the best gift in the world, but that's not how he reacted. Read the full story below. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for giving my husband A pregnancy test as A bday gift?

    "How could you hide something like this from me?"
    via 89Stocker / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    hi, i am f23, my husbands m25 birthday was one week ago.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105

  • This man sounds awful and childish. He's more worried about his stupid birthday than he is about becoming a father. He has his priorities backwards. A lot of the comments say that he probably didn't actually want kids, which is even worse. Who gives their newly pregnant wife the silent treatment?

  • 03
    We've wanted a baby for a really long time, and when I found out I was pregnant, I was so excited! Knowing my husbands birthday was in 3 days, I decided to keep it a secret, and give the test to him as part of his bday gift, because he wouldn't be expecting it, in my
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 04
    head it would make it more shocking exciting? At least that's how I thought it would be. Perhaps that was a dumb thought.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 05
    Now, this was not going to be a big party with tons of people. My husband didn't want that, so it was just gonna be the two of us, he was gonna open his gifts, we were gonna eat a nice dinner, and it was going to be chill and intimate. With this in mind, I didn't think giving him the
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 06
    pregnancy test as a gift would be a problem at all. If it were a big party I wouldn't have done it, because it would've taken the entire focus off of him, but this was a small party, just me and him!!
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 07
    When it came for me to give him his gifts, the pregnancy test was in a small box and i told him to open it last. He was super happy with all of his gifts, and when he opened the box with the pregnancy test in it, his demeanor changed. He seemed upset. I
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 08
    asked what was wrong and he said it was "A stupid gift" and "how could you hide something like this from me? You knew this for so long and hid it??"
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 09
    I explained to him it was 3 days. I thought it would be a wonderful gift. Like I said, we've wanted a baby for so long, and I thought he'd be happy. He said that he was happy but the timing for me to tell him was horrible and that it was his birthday, not a celebration of pregnancy.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 10
    I was confused, hurt, upset. So many emotions at once. I called him immature, and that led to a fight. He slept on the couch that night. This past week, he hasn't talked to me too much. Whenever I try to bring it up he says "just stop, were past it. It was dumb of you." Stuff like that. He doesn't
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10493988096
    via rilueda from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    tell me how happy he is, or any celebration about us being pregnant. Whenever I talk to him, he doesn't really reply, its just yes or no, or a grunt.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 13
    I feel horrible. I didn't think this would be a bad gift. I thought he'd love it. AITAH for doing this? I really thought it was ok, but I'm starting to think he's right, I shouldn't have done this.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 14
    update?: I don't really know if this is considered an update, but after reading replies, I'd to clear up a few things.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 15
    1. No, my husband has not ever acted this way towards me before. We've argued before, but it has never led to the point where he ignores me. 2. to all the comments asking what I mean by "wanting a baby for a really long time", we've been married for 4
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 16
    years and we agreed from the start about wanting children. 3. Yes, we've been trying to have a baby. I didn't stop taking birth control secretly, nor did we stop using protection "accidentally". This was something we were both originally wanting.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 17
    4. I didn't tell anyone before him. He was the first person to know. 5. I thought I clearly stated we were alone for the "party" but, we were alone. there wasn't other people around to hear. it was just us.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 18
    6. Also idk how to get rid of these numbers so ignore them. But, I don't want to kick him out or leave him. I really would appreciate advice on how to go about talking to him if you have any advice.
    via u/Famous-Ask-3105
  • 19
    hawksmarinerz • 7h ago I think he didn't actually want kids
    via u/hawksmarinerz
  • 20
    Famous_Smile_8192 • 7h ago My husband reacted like this after actively trying for a baby. Found out later he had a girlfriend on the side and felt equal parts guilty/trapped. I'm not suggesting it's the case here,
    via u/Famous_Smile_8192
  • 21
    but the response to baby news in a healthy relationship would be joy not this. Gird your loins darlin and good luck.
    via u/Famous_Smile_8192
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 10493987840
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    one-small-plant •5h ago I'm on board with all the people here saying that it seems he wasn't actually as excited about becoming a parent as you are.
    via u/one-small-plant
  • 24
    I'm sure he enjoyed the idea of it in the future, and I'm sure he enjoyed all of the trying to conceive, but if this had been something he really genuinely wanted, his initial response wouldn't have been anger. Stunned surprise, maybe, but not anger.
    via u/one-small-plant
  • 25
    What you need to do now is talk to him. Make it clear that you don't want to talk about whether or not his birthday was an appropriate time to tell him. Tell him that you need to have another talk about the fact that he clearly does not seem excited about becoming a parent.
    via u/one-small-plant
  • 26
    You should not have to go into this with an unenthusiastic, angry co- parent. Let him know he can change his attitude, or you can look into adoption or abortion services. Agree on what, specifically, his change in attitude will look like, and agree on when, specifically, you are going to be able to see some progress by.
    via u/one-small-plant
  • 27
    Don't let him get out of this by promising future change that he has not yet indicated he is capable of
    via u/one-small-plant

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