Restaurant worker quits after 4 shifts when owner shouts at them during service: 'Finished the shift in silence and handed my notice in today'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 23, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

The restaurant business has a reputation for being a tough working environment. Much like ballet, there is a history of generations and generations of offensive, mean, and cutting bosses. Their higher-ups were mean to them so they're passing the buck forward. It's seen as a rite of passage in some of these fields. They make you think that you have to suffer their rudeness in order to be excellent in your field. Shows like The Bear explore this toxic culture and its ramifications on the mental health of restaurant workers. It's part of a wave of stopping that level of toxicity and replacing it with something more sustainable. Some younger workers in the industry are re-orienting their priorities and not suffering hostile environments in the name of prestige. 

Healing these industries will take a while, though. It won't stop overnight, especially if the behavior goes unchecked. But the important thing is that the needle moves at least a little bit year after year.

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  • 01

    Just quit my new job after 4 shifts when the owner shouted at me! I've got a newfound respect for myself.

    I'm (27 f) a chef (10+ year professional experience) and got a new job in a new kitchen. Things were fine for the first 2 shifts, although the place was a bit of a mess (nothing I can't fix) and the shifts would mainly consist of just me and the two owners (who are also married) in the kitchen which was pretty intense.
    via u/amrogla
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10497171456
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's why stories like this one are so vital for the continued health of the restaurant industry. Below is an example of an employee standing up for themselves and refusing to accept anything less than respect and kindness. Read on for the story and see what you think.

  • 03
    My last shift (yesterday) was just me and the guy- a bit of a weird vibe and he's a really black and white person and doesn't do much talk which is a bit awkward when you're with someone for 8 hours straight. But fine whatever. He was planning a new dish and asked my advice about the plating to which I gave general input (I come from fine dining so simple and uncomplicated).
    via u/amrogla
  • 04
    He lost the plot. Just started shouting at me that 'my idea was stupid and that there are thousands of places doing that kind of plating right now and we should be the best place ever not just in the city and he wants to be famous and not do any of this boring sh and that he's the best chef in the country and that it's crazy I even thought to suggest something so stupid.' I was DUMBFOUNDED.
    via u/amrogla
  • 05
    I'm 27. I've had plenty jobs in the past where stupid beefed up angry dudes in Michelin kitchens have shouted at me and I used to think it was a right of passage and that I was lucky to be in these places. But that's all bulls and I know that now. I'm an adult now and in this moment I realised how little tolerance I have for this sh. I have ZERO tolerance for it in-fact. Not for maniac chefs shouting at me for nothing.
    via u/amrogla
  • 06
    I said nothing back to him. Finished the shift in silence. And handed my notice in today. I feel AMAZING and I'm so proud of myself for not even entertaining the thought of staying in that environment for another waking day. I'm done with toxic kitchen environments and it shouldn't be the norm!!!
    via u/amrogla
  • 07
    If you're ever in the same position don't put up with it honestly, I would trade in any fancy pants Michelin job I've worked for a respectful humble environment. F hospitality and f my now ex-boss!!!!!!!!!! idiots like
    via u/amrogla
  • 08

    Other workers expressed their support for the employee's actions.

    Laughing_Man_Ret... proud of you.
    via u/Laughing_Man_Returns
  • 09
    amrogla OP • 2h ago . Thank you so much I'm feeling proud of me too
    via u/amrogla
  • 10
    Li... 2h ago Edited 39m ago • Good for you. I never understood how ppl like Ramsey and Irvine got away. with screaming in people's faces. That really does not make people want to work harder for you. Be an adult, set a good example, treat people with respect and most will work hard for you.
    via u/Lives4Sunshine
  • 11
    You not saying anything and finishing your shift, then giving notice was a class act. Bravo! Edit: Ramsey and Irvine are just famous examples people have seen. It was a visual. Many professions have people who act like that IRL.
    via u/Lives4Sunshine
  • 12
    dragonborne123 • 2h ago I'm also 27 and a chef. I love cooking but hate the industry. It's so toxic and takes more than it gives. My job right now is taking years off my life from stress.
    via u/dragonborne123
  • 13
    KaleRevolutionary7... . 2h ago Do the owners know why? Seems important. The next guy might be a rookie and that kitchen prima-dona is going to do it again just to establish dominance.
    via u/KaleRevolutionary795
  • 14
    . mayn1 2h ago There seems to be a belief that "creative genius" must be or can be paired with an explosive bi-polar attitude/personality. It then allows these people to get away with this sh for years. and become toddlers in their interactions with others. Good on you for just being done with it.
    via u/mayn1
  • 15
    Cheezburger Image 10497170944
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    carrzo 1h ago . Similar situation with me decades ago and I still smile about it, good on ya! My guy later arrested for tax evasion too so here's hoping even extra vindication awaits you too
    via u/carrzo
  • 17
    jjsprat38 • 2h ago It is so empowering isn't it. I'm certain your talents will appreciated elsewhere
    via u/jjsprat38
  • 18
    jp11e3 1h ago . I wholeheartedly feel like the entire restaurant industry suffers from how often a well trained chef has to work for some a h le who happened to be rich enough to buy a building
    via u/jp11e3
  • 19
    Ph4kArndNFO • 1h ago OP - you are my Hero.
    via u/Ph4kArndNFO
  • 20
    Low-Focus-3879 • 1h ago Good for you. Too many kitchens are toxic af and it's written off as part of the culture/stress. It's not. It's just people being allowed to be a holes unchecked. Good on you for checking it.
    via u/Low-Focus-3879
  • 21
    Suspicious_Unio... • 46m ago The best and most creative chef I ever worked under was calm, thoughtful and respectful to all his staff. He ran one of the best restaurants in DC and his staff would take a bullet for him. F the angry chef stereotype, it's a sign of weakness.
    via u/Suspicious_Union_236
  • 22
    Oatis_Bagera · 37m ago This is how we make a better society! Turns out, hard to hire when you or your business just plain sk.
    via u/Oatis_Bagera
  • 23
    Imaginary-Friend... . 25m ago It's crazy to me how many grown a men think it's appropriate to yell at work (but think women are emotional)
    via u/Imaginary-Friend-228
  • 24
    dizzylizzy78 1h ago • I use to love cooking and did it for many years, however toxic work enviroments finished me off for good in restaurant work. I found myself starting to do what you just did more often. I finally realized that I was only ever able to function in that line of work because I had been so use to chaos in my personal life.
    via u/dizzylizzy78
  • 25
    Once my personal life settled and was more calm, I further realized I could no longer function in a restaurant kitchen cooking for a living. Good for you sticking up for yourself! I hope the next gig is better for you! Thanks for sharing and listening!
    via u/dizzylizzy78
  • 26
    Bt-chicken 58m ago . Good for you, thanks for sharing I hope the young chefs of today heed that message and respect themselves. It's not ok to be shouted at at work, it's not a right of passage or "earning your stripes" it's bulls and toxic. You're not responsible for his feelings, good for you chef!
    via u/B**t-chicken
  • 27
    Think_Medicine_... 54m ago Good for you! How did they react to your notice?
    via u/Think_Medicine_5203
  • 28
    amrogla OP. 49m ago It was a really short conversation thankfully. I recounted his reaction the day before and said my tolerance for that is nil. He started to back track and try to apologise and say he was just trying to push me to think outside the box but I said I had places to be today, grabbed my birkenstocks and left!
    via u/amrogla
  • 29
    mawkx 53m ago • I wish we can stop normalizing this idea that kitchens need to be this high octane and obscene environment that tries to be like a military boot camp. I'm happy you're not tolerating that toxic work environment. You deserve so much better and I'm glad you realize this!
    via u/mawkx
  • 30
    Ecstatic_Account... • 46m ago I would have preferred the ending where you immediately take off your apron and drop it at his feet and then grab a meatball and stuff it in your mouth on your way out the door, but this works too.
    via u/Ecstatic_Account_744
  • 31
    Rugged RakishRa... F ya! • 38m ago proud of you! The way you described you handled it also was with such class and integrity! Self- respect is so important. From experience, even though you may be stressed with being without work for a period, I just know you're walking lighter and carrying yourself with such pride in yourself.
    via u/RuggedRakishRaccoon
  • 32
    To others in here - it's important to give yourself and others grace to not be their perfect selves. And, if someone isn't or you aren't your best self, snapping at someone or (keyword) uncharacteristically raising your voice, it's telling about the person if they own up to it and profusely apologize and
    via u/RuggedRakishRaccoon
  • 33
    tell you they know their behavior was unacceptable. Or if it's you, don't try to rectify by saying nothing and just being better; people aren't mind readers and that conveys low emotional intelligence & self reflection. Verbally and genuinely apologize so healing can
    via u/RuggedRakishRaccoon
  • 34
    happen. When that doesn't happen or the escalation (yelling like here) seems like it may be their norm, do what OP did - Get out and find a place where you're respected.
    via u/RuggedRakishRaccoon

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boss antiwork workplace-stories toxic-workplace job bosses work coworkers working reddit story restaurant toxic-boss chef workplace reddit thread bad bosses Reddit service industry toxic-work-environment
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