26-year-old girlfriend refuses to help boyfriend pay rent after deciding to live together, claiming he has to support her as she finishes nursing school: ‘I don't want the pressure of bringing cash home’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 7, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Plenty of couples decide to move in together even if they are not in sync when it comes to their financial state. When one of them makes more money than the other, or even when one doesn't have an income at all, it complicates the terms of their decision to combine their lives and move their relationship to the next level.

If a couple in this situation is still serious about taking the next step, they usually manage to find an arrangement that works for them both. Usually, it means that one carries the burden of financially supporting the other, while being sure of the fact that one day the other will be able to repay for the support. And while this can be a tricky situation, if the relationship is meant to be, this will only be a fleeting moment in a lifetime of situations where one faithfully supports the other.

Which is what the couple in the story below are hoping will be the result of their situation.

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  • The 28-year-old boyfriend in this story was quite surprised by his girlfriend's reaction when he asked her to pay $1000 for their joint monthly expenses. Even though he would still be paying the majority of the expenses, the girlfriend still considers this amount too much, given that she is still in nursing school and therefore unable to work full-time. This led the two to reconsider their foreseeable future together…

  • 01
    "I will just have to support her"
    via andresr

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA if I charge my gf 1k for rent while I pay 2k+?"

    My gf (26) and I (28) have been dating for two years. Now we would like to move in. We are currently in SoCal and living expenses is high out here
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 03
    The amount that we're seeing for rent is about $1800-2500. I don't mind paying about $2k while my gf helps with atleast $1k or so for food, rent and utilities.
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 04
    Now she's overreacting and saying how she doesn't want to have the pressure of studying and going to school so she doesn't wanna give the $1k. Maybe $500?
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 05
    Regardless, am I the a h le hole for charging her? She's saying that other people are supporting their gf without the pressure of bringing cash home.
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 06
    Further information, I got my career going and she is going to school for nursing. UPDATE: People are asking the same questions:
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 07
    She is in school for nursing. Income is weird since she is per diem. She takes shifts at a nursing home based on availability
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 08
    We discussed and she's willing to provide 400-800. NOT 1k that I rounded up. She will work maybe 1 or 2 shifts per week or every other week. Depends on class schedules.
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 09
    I am not in school anymore, I can afford to cover/provide for her. That way she can just focus on studies and we can reap the rewards later after she finishes. I think this is the right move
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 10
    I just wanted people's insights on the situation. I mean of course I will provide for my wife/fiancé but we are not engaged yet; we are bf/gf but we're in it for the long haul.
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 11
    Minimum-Chicken7296 Just curious as to what her plan would be if you WEREN'T together? Did y'all make plans for her to go back to school together? Was she already in school when you met? It honestly depends on the agreements and conversations had before this step.
    via Minimum-Chicken7296
  • 12
    Lil_Ese_Ggee OP She's currently living with relatives. If we don't move in together, she will simply stay in the same situation with her family.
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 13
    princexxjellyfish If she's not ready to pay rent, then she's not ready to move out. I understand it's difficult to be in school for nursing and have an income at the same time.
    via princexxjellyfish
  • 14
    However, rent is high and life is no longer affordable at a 1- person salary. NTA.
    via princexxjellyfish
  • 15
    lions2lambs No judgment but it genuinely doesn't feel like you've planned this out. Neither of you is ready to commit $3000/month like this.
    via lions2lambs
  • 16
    If she was your fiancee, that would be one thing but she's not. Why would you burn most of your paycheck while she saves monthly. Outside of that, her statement "other people are supporting their gf without pressure to
    via lions2lambs
  • 17
    bring cash home" would be a massive red flag to me, it's not "us" but rather her money is hers, while your money is also hers.
    via lions2lambs
  • 18
    I'm not saying to break up, but I sure as sh wouldn't move in with her until after she got a job and was able to pay her fair share of rent and consumables.
    via lions2lambs
  • 19
    Cheezburger Image 10501505024
    via RealPeopleGroup

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 20
    lucyfell NAH it's totally reasonable for you to want to split expenses but dude if she can't afford it she can't afford it. She's currently in school, and it sounds like living at home?
    via lucyfell
  • 21
    Just wait till she graduates and gets a job to move in together. Frame it as needing to know you are both fully committed and have skin in the game.
    via lucyfell
  • 22
    Nyxie_puff Maybe don't move in together if you can't figure out a solution. I think things will end in resentment either way
    via Nyxie_puff
  • 23
    generic230 First, This sounds like you decided this on your own, in your head then told gf. You DID NOT sit down with her and say, "what are you comfortable paying?" Then discussing what
    via generic230
  • 24
    YOU'RE comfortable paying and deciding in something around 2000-2500. Next time, don't make these decisions on your own. Second, her saying, "other people support their gf" is
    via generic230
  • 25
    really fed up. Maybe you knew she kinda has an expectation for you to take care of her and that's why you were so adamant about
    via generic230
  • 26
    deciding what she'd contribute. Because you recognize it as a red flag. So, ESH.
    via generic230
  • 27
    Lil_Ese_Ggee OP We have been discussing, no decision has been made here. Not sure where you're getting that from. She doesn't know how many hours she will work when school starts so she guessed maybe
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee
  • 28
    she can chip in 400-800. I just threw 1k in there because if the round up. I will just have to support her for the duration before she finishes her studies and then I'll reap the rewards later.
    via Lil_Ese_Ggee

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