28-year-old backpacker in Southeast Asia refuses her travel buddies Anna and Mark’s attempts to expel her from their Thailand trip for being too relaxed, telling them she’s not leaving and they’re welcome to hit the road: ‘they're trying to kick me out’

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Etai Eshet • Editor
May 24, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

There are few things more unstable than a backpacking friendship forged in the sweaty crucible of Southeast Asia, where the humidity is high, the food is cheap, and travel "groups" form and dissolve faster than street ice cream. Our traveler, a go-with-the-flow queen in a world of spreadsheet-worshipping, itinerary-fixated travel companions, found herself on a collision course with the organizational police after, drum roll… not treating hostel life like a corporate retreat. Yes, sometimes she's five minutes late to dinner, but unless the Pad Thai is going to self-destruct at six sharp, what's the rush?

Yet in this group, order must be maintained: the original type-A duo, ever the guardians of punctuality and "shared planning responsibilities," decide it's time for a performance review. Their verdict: they'd rather she wander off to find her own chill tribe and let them rule the group's tedious whereabouts in peace. Never mind that four new recruits are actually vibing with her nonchalance. 

The solution? A group coup.

Unfazed, unbothered, our trekker simply shrugs and suggests the unhappy campers take their maps and neuroses elsewhere, since she's not the one with a problem.

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  • "AITA for telling my travel friends they can leave the group but I'll be staying?"

    "Who cares if we leave the hostel 5 minutes later than agreed"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Sometimes the most radical act of self-care is declining to be exiled just because you don’t worship at the altar of Google Calendar. If you want to travel, make your own plans, go with the flow or go somewhere else. Backpacking shouldn’t feel like the Amazing Race, no matter how hard some people try.

  • I (28F) have been backpacking through South East Asia for a few months now, and specifically Thailand for the last month or so. At the beginning of the Thailand
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  • part of my trip, I met two other solo travellers in my hostel who seemed like good vibes, and we all ended up sticking together as a trio for the next few weeks
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • However, as time went on, it turns out they have a bit of a different travel style to me, and are both quite 'type A' people, where I'm much more go with the flow. I
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  • didn't think it was a problem -- I'd just let them make the plans cos they cared more than I did, and I just vibed along for the ride. I do also have a tendency to be a bit disorganized and late to
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  • 108-> 10 107
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  • things, but never more than 5-10 mins. Also, in all honesty, who really cares if we leave the hostel 5 minutes later than agreed for dinner or going to the beach? We're chilling in a fun place with fun people either way
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  • Anyway, I thought we were all getting along well, and over the last couple weeks we've added 4 more people to our little team! That was until yesterday, when
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  • the original two sat me down and told me they don't want to travel with me any more because it's irritating that I never contribute to plans and am often late
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  • I told them that I would've been happy to compromise if I knew they were upset, and that I genuinely thought me not contributing to plans was making
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  • everything go smoother because I really don't care much what we do, so this way the team only has to balance two people's sometimes-conflicting wants.
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  • Regardless, if that's how they felt, I told them that it's sad but it's cool and I won't take it personally if they go do their own thing
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  • This is where the conflict comes in. They told me that they really like the group dynamic with the other 4 people we found, so they'd prefer if I was the one to leave, and that it was more fair
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  • that way because there are two of them and one of me. I told them I like travelling with the others too, and they're the ones with an issue, not me, so I won't be doing that
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  • Tldr: Two out of 6 of my travel group don't want to travel with me any more, so they're trying to kick me out of the group. I told them to shove it and they should be the ones to leave if they're that bothered
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  • Lainy122 NTA. Easy fix, check in with the other new people and see if they feel the same way as your Type A's. If yes, no drama, bounce and find more chill people. If not, your former travel buddies can be the ones to move along.
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  • To be honest though, I doubt it's about you or your behaviour. They could just be looking to even out numbers, either for reasons or simply for logistics for some reason 7 - people are harder to make
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  • plans for than 6 people. Travelling is built for even numbers, and often places refuse to accommodate an extra person. I say this as I just spent a month travelling as a 3 nearly everywhere - was like, nope! 2 or 4 please.
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  • RealisticAd3559 OH MY GOSH, definitely NTA. I am also currently traveling in Southeast Asia. I met a group of friends I was traveling with. We all had different personalities and worked things out as needed. These people s k
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  • (why the formal meeting to get you voted off the island? This isn't survivor), they're doing you a favor. Enjoy your solo travels - you'll meet new people along the way. You couldn't pay me to travel with such snooty people.
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hostels friendship south east asia bad friend best friends backpacking friends solo travel friend Party thailand Travel
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