Dad abandons infant son, flips out when he gets rebuffed trying to adopt him at 17 while having 5 other kids under 10: 'I don't belong in this family'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 23, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Much as it would be wonderful if everybody got the chance to grow up in a supportive and stable family, we all know that this is often far from the truth. Everybody has their struggles when it comes to their relatives and those who took care of them when they were growing up, and some people have had far worse luck than others.

Experiencing the passing of a parent is already a seismic event in an individual's life, but when that happens to somebody as a kid, that is a whole other level of difficulty. Processing a loss while simultaneously being unsure of who takes custody of the child can be a deeply traumatic experience to go through. If there were instabilities in the family unit beforehand, these kinds of complications only make them far worse. It is a situation that can get so messy it seems like there is no viable way to resolve it.

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  • 01

    AITA for not letting my bio dad and his wife adopt me and refusing to comply with family therapy?

    There's a lot of background but I'll condense it down for everyone and make it easy to follow. My bio dad walked out when I was a few months old. He and my mom weren't married and the three of us had lived with bio dad's parents. After bio dad walked out me and mom continued living with them.
    via Lower-Bat9698
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10509256192
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This is something one teen found himself dealing with after his bio dad started trying to adopt him following the passing of his grandparents. He had been raised by them after his father had abandoned him as a baby, and his mom had passed away when he was 3 years old.

    He initially lived with his uncle after his grandparents' passing, but his father fought for custody and won. Despite his expressing displeasure at this living situation, the dad continued to petition for him to become part of his new family. The 17-year-old hoped to go back to his uncle, and wanted to know if it was unreasonable that he wasn't cooperating with his dad and stepmom.

  • 03
    My mom died when I was 3. Before she died she had my grandparents adopt me. She got my bio dad to sign off on it which he did and my aunts and uncles said he was happy to do it. Grandpa died when I was 9 and my grandma when I was 13. Grandma tried to get him to take some interest in me after grandpa died but he didn't. I lived with my uncle for a few months until my bio dad fought for custody and won. I didn't know my bio dad at that point. The only time I saw him was at grandpa and then grandma
    via Lower-Bat9698
  • 04
    I was almost 14 when I sent to live with my bio dad and his family. I'm 17 now. I didn't want to live with my bio dad. I wanted to live with my uncle or any of my aunts and uncles. I know them, grew up with them, they were in my life this whole time. But bio dad being bio dad won out with a judge who dismissed everything my therapist said. Now that I'm here I'm pretty angry at him for pulling me away from everyone I know and love. Even 3 years later I'm still angry at him. He's married and has f
    via Lower-Bat9698
  • 05
    I sit in therapy every week and I don't engage. We've cycled through about 7 therapists in two years and they're trying to find someone who can make me engage. They're also giving me more shit for refusing the adoption. Some of bio dad's kids asked me to please be their brother and be adopted and be family. I always tell them their parents are not mine and I don't belong in this family. That I belong with my family. It upsets them. Which angers bio dad and wife. But I won't give in just for rand
    via Lower-Bat9698
  • 06
    My uncle tried to fight for custody again a few months ago but again my wishes were dismissed. I told my bio dad if he let me go I might not hate him and his whole family. He told me he wants me to embrace the family, not move away and never see them again. My dad's wife's parents are at their house all the time. They started to scold me over rejecting the adoption and not participating in therapy. I told them to mind their own business a few times. Bio dad told me it was unacceptable and I need
    via Lower-Bat9698
  • 07
    an
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08

    Outsiders assured him that he hadn't done anything wrong.

    NONEOFURBIZZ NTA. This sounds like kidnapping. Your sperm donor is a major selfish AH. He abandoned you and then he just ripped you off your own family, now he has everyone ganging up on you and harrassing you. Get that therapist license number and ask your uncle to report them. What they are doing is unprofessional. Stay strong, I hope you don't have to wait that long.
    via NONE0FURBIZZ
  • 09
    WinterFront1431 NTA. Hold on, dude. Don't let them beat you down to accept. He was never a dad, and he's proven that by taking you away from your actual family. I'd tell the therapist that if they keep pushing, you'll have them reported. That's not what they are supposed to be doing.
    via WinterFront1431
  • 10
    PleaseCoffeeMe NTA. Time to wait it out. You'll legally be an adult soon, start making a plan. Speak privately with your uncle, move out that day.
    via PleaseCoffeeMe
  • 11
    FlounderKind8267 NTA. This guy is practically a stranger to you. Any teacher you've had knows you better than this guy who's barely been in your life. Just let it be known what your opinion on this is. They can't force you to love them. Just remind him that he abandoned you and only came back when everyone else passed away. If he truly cared, he would have been back much sooner
    via FlounderKind8267
  • 12
    No_Atmosphere_3702 I'll never understand parents who abandon one kid and then go and have "family and kids" with another person. Don't give in to their pressure. Your uncle is a hero. NTA
    via No_Atmosphere_3702
  • 13
    Southern-Animator975 Are they trying to make You take care of the children? Because lowkey that's why they could have wanted You for
    via Southern-Animator975
  • 14
    JTBlakeinNYC NTA. Next time someone says something to you about it, tell them that he doesn't get a do-over after missing the first 14 years of your life.
    via JTBlakeinNYC
  • 15
    Cybermagetx Nta. Tell bio dad once your 18 your gone. And he is the one the blame for that. P.s. report the therapist. They are not supposed to take sides.
    via Cybermagetx
  • 16
    NTA Vxing404 You know.... since your grandparents adopted you, that legally makes him your brother and his kids your nibblings. You don't want to live with this brother, you wanted to live with one of your other siblings. One that you had a long and loving relationship with. Drive the point home by introducing them as "my brother John", "my sister-in-law Cathy", "my niece Alice". Refer to your grandparents as "our parents". If he gets mad in front of people bring up that he gave up his rights as
    via Vxing404
  • 17
    gossamerlady Does your sperm donor understand that he has destroyed any chance of you accepting him by pushing this on you, and that the second you turn 18 he loses all control and you never have to see him again? I mean, what's his end game? Like others said- make sure you have your paperwork. Your birth certificate and social security cards. I'm wondering at his persistance- is there an inheritance heading your way that you don't know about? Have you checked your credit? Make sure he hasn't op
    via gossamerlady
  • 18
    StatisticianPlus 7834 NTA. Sorry for your situation. Are you sure that since you are 17 already you cannot move out? If not, just sit tight and prepare for leaving once you can. They have no right to push you like this. And they are stupid to think that pushing will do any good.
    via StatisticianPlus7834
  • 19
    Agoraphobe961 NTA. So you're about 7ish years older than the next kid? Let me guess, in addition to all the crap with the adoption they want you to be big brother to the other kids by spending time with them without the parents around? Yeah, they want a long-term free babysitter.
    via Agoraphobe961
  • 20
    Bluewaveempress NTA at all. This isn't stubborn. This is the consequences of his behavior
    via Bluewaveempress
  • 21
    Asagao47 NTA The "mistake" of signing away his parental rights didn't just happen. He CHOSE to let your grandparents adopt you. But you might want to see a therapist on your own.
    via Asagao47
  • 22
    monchi3 NTA. Talk to your uncle and find out if your grandparents left you any money. Tell him that you are trying to figure out bio dad's interest in adopting you. Also think that you will soon be 18 and you won't have to deal with them legally.
    via monchi3
  • 23
    Queasy-Trash8292 NTA. Stand your ground. Turn 18. Move out. Never look back. Make sure your uncle has copies of all your identity docs and try to get your important possessions over to his house in a way that are not going to alert your bio dad family. I'm sorry you had to deal with this. You sounds very strong. You will be relieved of all this very soon when you turn 18. Take that time to celebrate! Good luck, you sound like an amazing and strong person.
    via Queasy-Trash8292

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family drama aita adoption kids therapy abandoned siblings stepmom parenting dad uncle family reddit thread Reddit son half siblings
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