29-year-old squanders $75K inheritance from her grandma, asks her sister who invested her inheritance to pay $8K to fix her broken-down car: 'She said I am selfish because I clearly have the money.'

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    AITA for lying to my sister about not being able to access my inheritance to help with her car repairs?

    I (34F) inherited $75k from my grandma last year. My sister (29F) got the same amount. I invested mine while she blew through hers in 6 months on designer stuff and a luxury vacation.
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    She contacted me in tears last week when her car broke down and she owes $8k to get it fixed. She can't get a loan since she has horrible credit and I said I couldn't assist her since I have my money wrapped up in investments and withdrawing it early will cost me penalties.
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    This is somewhat untrue. I can tap about $15k without charge except I do not want to do so. She has constantly misused money and I am fed up with it. Our parents rescued her numerous times and now she expects the same from me.
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    100 PB 22809 OTH A 100 FEDERAL RESERVE NO PB 14467197 B2 100 Sreven? 10 FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE PB 8927 100 G FEDERAL RESERVE 100 E FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE PF 15873507 J F6 ONE HUNDRED ONE ONE HU ONE H 100 FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE PB 14467198 M B2 WONE B ON ONE HUN 100 FEDERAL RESE PB 14467196 M ESERVE NOTE UNIT OF JULY 4, 1776 B2 Steven T. Marchin Gorts Jarrays 100
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    She said I am selfish because we both received the same inheritance and I clearly have the money.
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    Our mother phoned me the other day telling me to assist needy family and our grandma would be ashamed if me. But our grandma was very thrifty and would more than likely be appalled at my sister's expenditure.
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    Am I wrong to have lied about being unable to access my money? I have worked hard to manage my money and i feel like my sister thinks money just appears out of the ground!
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    moisanbar NTA. She will never learn if you keep bailing her out. In the future, lie to your family about what money you have. Faking being broke is not too hard when it's people who are terrible with moeny you have to fool. Parasites will s k you dry and they don't change.
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    Frosty-Quail4678 OP Thank you! I'm seriously considering pretending to be broke from now on.
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    Additional-Aioli-545 Hi Frosty, I'm probably a good 40-50 years older than you so if you don't mind, allow me to give some advice so you get to learn from someone else's mistake. Never compromise your credit, finances, womb, or peace. Your financial business is yours alone. The only person who should know anything about your financial standing is a spouse. No one else. Live your life and learn to use the most powerful word in the English language:
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    NO If they say anything after "NO", do not say another word. Simply remove yourself from the area. If they call later to continue begging, let their calls go to VM or block them. No means No.
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    Practicalfolk And lockdown your credit.
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    ForwardPlenty NTA. You will never see a penny of that money back, and once you break the seal, so to speak, it will be constant demands for your money. Her bank account is overdrawn, her car payment is late, it will be repossessed, her mortgage is late she will be out on the streets, etc. There will always be an excuse and you are so selfish to keep your money to yourself.
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    Just say no. Don't JADE. Do not Justify, argue, defend or explain. You don't have to let her know that your money is | in investments, that is irrelevant. Your money is your money. If you start to explain things, that opens up a discussion and she will amp up the pleas and let you know that the world will end if she doesn't get the money.
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    Just say, "That doesn't work for me." Of course she is going to follow up with a why not, how can you leave me hanging like this, etc. Just repeat, "That doesn't work for me."
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    Frosty-Quail4678 OP Thank you for the long response. I will try that JADE approach.I already worried that I might give in if I discuss longer with her and that this then will be the first of many requests.
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    Distinct_Cap4622 Your mom only wants you to give it to her, because she is tired of funding her, she knows she's the next target! Don't cave, or it will never ever end until you are as broke as she is!
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    Astyryx On JADE, don't apologize or get angry either. Users really like to keep people in endless discussions so they can wear them down. Instead, say things like "sounds like a bummer" and "gosh, you've got a lot going on" and
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    noncommittal general "there there" phrases. But the money's not available. If you are ok with small lies, just say it's safely in a trust and you couldn't get at it even if you wanted to.
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    auntlynnie NTA. The best way to completely destroy your relationship with your sister would be to loan (give) her that money. She will always have an emergency because that's how she lives her life: one financial crisis to the next. You didn't take her money, but she's sure eager to take yours!
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    Strong_Storm_2167 NTA. Just tell mummy dearest when you talk to her next that you invested the money but it failed and you lost it all. So you don't have any money to give but you are overdue on a bill and want to know if she can help you out as she is family. She will quickly tell your sister lol.
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    bronwyn 19594236 NTA, suggest she sells her designer items on Poshmark to get the cash to fix her car. No to lending money to family or friends. Live like you're broke and keep your money for yourself. BTW, tell your mom that sis can turn to her next time she wants to take money from family.
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    Wrong_Moose_9763 And the fact that neither mom or sis see anything wrong with this sentence: "She said I am selfish because we both received the same inheritance and I clearly have the money." is STUNNING. NTA

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