'The level of beef she has with this 6-year-old is genuinely concerning': 47-year-old grandmother insists on crashing waterpark outing with 6 and 12-year-olds despite causing drama with them

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 10, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Being a peacemaker in your family is not a fun job. Maybe you're the middle child and you're used to running an interference between two sides of your family. You're the one who is friends with everyone so you're the only one who can resolve conflicts. Or maybe you're the only one who's willing to. Lots of people end up in this situation within their family structures. Maybe they didn't choose to be that but they just found themselves planted in that role for some reason or another. This doesn't mean that you necessarily enjoy playing this part. It can be emotionally taxing to have to resolve other people's drama. It can feel like your own needs are being neglected in favor of other bigger personalities in your family.

This is especially true when you're trying to squash beef between two sides of a family. Maybe you're trying to make plans and a certain person won't be there if a certain person is there and so on and so forth. It can feel like high school cliques all vying for attention.

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  • 01

    AITA for saying my mom shouldn't come to the water park?

    So. My (23F) Mother (47F) texted me 10 minutes ago with a grand idea- that she should join the water park trip I have planned with my Paternal Grandmother (PG) and two youngest cousins (6M and 12F). I am worried that I'm the a for telling her she should not come.
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10515674880
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this family when two sides I'd quite see eye to eye. But they insisted on sharing plans together. Nobody wanted to feel left out, but nobody wanted to resolve their underlying drama. That left one daughter with the task of making peace with everyone. But it wasn't as easy as she thought it might be. Read on for the story to see what happened. 

  • 03
    For some background: I was asked to go on the trip as my PG will be having to look after the 6 year old who is not a huge fan of slides or deep water. My 12 year old cousin is a fish with an adrenaline addiction, so she will be pulling me around the park to all the slides and high dives (not that I'm complaining!). The water park is about 2 hours from our town via interstate. My PG is driving and paying for my ticket.
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 04
    My mother does not like my PG. My family meets for dinners once a week and my mother often skips because she does not want to see PG. When she does join, I am often having to run interference between my mother and PG as my mother will make MANY many passive aggressive
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 05
    comments over even the slightest "offense" from my PG. I have to work to keep them separate or else everyone picks up on the bad vibe and the night is ruined. This would be the same for the water park trip. My mother also does not do well with long drives especially those involving
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 06
    interstate travel. She cannot ride passenger without having panic attacks and screaming at the driver and is still very very nervous and reactionary while driving. She ALSO does not like my 6 year old cousin. He is a handful, but the level of beef she has with this 6 year old is genuinely concerning. She had
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 07
    made him very upset in the past by taking on a disciplinary role (which for her is mostly just screaming demands) and he does not play with or talk to her like he does with other family members.
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 08
    I pointed these things out to her (politely, EX: Asked would she enjoy it considering she is not treated well by PG and finds 6M to be annoying) and offered to go up on a different day with myself and my sister instead. She responded that I was leaving her
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 09
    out and making her sad. I am doubting myself as she does not have very many chances to leave the house and it is technically not my place to tell her what to do (it is my PG who's planned and paid for the trip). AITA for telling her no?
    via u/lizardsbrain
  • 10

    Commenters gave their opinions on the situation

    BlondDee1970 - 13h ago NTA. You were invited by your PG so it's your day to enjoy with him and your cousins. Your mom is not entitled to crash the day and given that they don't all get along it would spoil the outing for all of you. Your mom can take you on another day. You're a grown adult and her behaviour is childish.
    via u/BlondDee1970
  • 11
    Mud_One 13h ago . NTA if mom goes no one is gonna have fun, def not the 6 yr old or PG and I don't think the 12 year old is gonna walk around all day by herself because your gonna have to play ref between PG, 6yr old and mom
    via u/Mud_One
  • 12
    AffectionateSun4... 13h ago • NTA. You were invited. She was not. It's not her place to invite herself, nor should she expect you to ask her to join as it's not your place either. You want everyone to have fun and protect your peace by not mixing the two.
    via u/AffectionateSun4119
  • 13
    ScoutBunny 13h ago NTA. This is your PG's trip, not yours. If she wants to go she needs to ask her.
    via u/ScoutBunny
  • 14
    divorceevil • 12h ago Tell your mother it is not up to you to say yes or no since you did not make the plan, aren't paying nor driving. Tell her PG is paying and driving, it's her gig and she needs to go ask her. If this makes you the AH (it does. not) then, oh well. I don't understand why this is even a question.
    via u/divorceevil
  • 15
    Kbradsagain • 13h ago . NTA. Your PG invited you, not your entire family. Go with your mother a different day or somewhere else that she would enjoy with you more.
    via u/Kbradsagain
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10515675136
    via Fathur Rohman
  • 17
    pjilca69 12h ago • NTA. Your mom is trying to sabotage your relationship with PG by guilting you into insisting that she can accompany you. I'm sure PG's feeling us mutual
    via u/pjilca69
  • 18
    Traditional_Bug_... • 13h ago NTA Just tell her to ask PG since it's PG's trip. Doubt your mom will do it if it involves reaching out to PG.
    via u/Traditional_Bug_2046
  • 19
    Hopefull-Raven 13h ago NTA, I feel like this was an attention grab for your mother, and nothing more.
    via u/Hopefull-Raven
  • 20
    NaryaGenesis 10h ago . This isn't your trip. It's your grandmother's. Your mother (who sounds exhausting) can't invite herself on it through you! Unless your grandmother extends an invitation, she's out of luck! "Mom, this isn't my trip, I can't invite you. This is a day with grandma and cousins, not you!"
    via u/NaryaGenesis
  • 21
    This sounds like a powertrip on your mother's part simply to annoy your grandmother. Let her sulk and enjoy your time. NTA
    via u/NaryaGenesis
  • 22
    ButltSaysOnline 13h ago NTA. Sounds like you have a good set up.
    via u/ButltSaysOnline
  • 23
    Negative-Mering... 12h ago NTA. Sounds like she just wants to start drama. She knows she won't have fun, she knows she will be miserable.
    via u/Negative-Meringue813
  • 24
    Buga99poo27Got... . 11h ago It doesn't even sound like she was invited. If my inlaws were doing something and invited me, but didn't invite my mom, I wouldn't take it upon myself to get her invited, esp with a history of conflict. Your moms just jealous, just do something with her another day soon.
    via u/Buga99poo27GotNo464
  • 25
    sick-of-passwords • 13h ago I don't think you ATA. This sounds like a pre planned trip by your PG, who has invited you but not your mom. Your mom should take a step back and try to plan a trip with you separately from your PG., on another day.
    via u/sick-of-passwords
  • 26
    FickleSpend2133 · 10h ago • She cannot invite herself to an event that was not designed nor planned nor paid for by you. Tell her you're sorry but she can plan a trip at another time without PG or 6M. Then go and enjoy yourself. Do not be bu ied into permitting her to go somewhere where she was not invited!
    via u/FickleSpend2133
  • 27
    Adelucas 10h ago If your PG wanted her to go she'd have been invited. It's incredibly ride to invite yourself to someone elses trip when you haven't been asked by the person hosting. it. You know your mom would just cause drama, and you are old enough to shut her down when she does this stuff.
    via u/Adelucas
  • 28
    I don't know what your mother is thinking, but she's going to make this trip unbearable for everyone. And of course it's your place to tell her what she can't do. She's just gaslighting you and manipulating you like she did when you were a child. You aren't a child any
    via u/Adelucas
  • 29
    more. At some point you have to just sigh and go "It's not happening mom, so stop going on about it" and let her pout and whine to her hearts content. Trust me, boundaries with a parent are always a good thing or you'll be married, with kids, and she'll stomp all over any
    via u/Adelucas
  • 30
    rules or boundaries you have as if they aren't there. I loved my grandmother to bits, but my mom had to tell her a few times to wind her neck in and stay in her lane. It's time you started doing the same.
    via u/Adelucas

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