30-year-old confronts neighbors for breaking her fence and demands payment, retaliates by throwing neighbors' personal items in the dumpster: 'We have no right to get rid of their stuff'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jul 19, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

The funny thing about backyards is that while you're entitled to do whatever you want in your private space, that doesn't mean people won't judge you for it. Provided that you are following the rules in your HOA, you could plant the weirdest-looking flowers or fill your space with the most bizarre-looking furniture. At the end of the day, how you elect to decorate your own property is up to you. 

However, before you go crazy, it's worth remembering that, chances are, people can see your backyard. As such, it is inevitably going to be subject to criticism from other neighbors and passersby if it stands out (and not in a good way). If you have a thick skin, you probably can overcome these kinds of complaints, but what happens when the complaints are more than just passing comments? What happens when you don't realize it, but the way you have been organizing your private space has actively inconvenienced the people around you? 

If you're the stubborn type, you might have difficulty admitting wrongdoing or acknowledging how the actions on your own property are negatively impacting the lived experiences of your surrounding neighbors. In this instance, we have a resident whose fence separating her property from her neighbor's was broken because of the piles of trash that her neighbors accumulated and stacked against the barrier. Let's just say that this neighbor did not have a thick skin and refused to take responsibility for what she clearly did. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10530908160
    via Zac Gudakov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This neighbor's actions firmly fall into the aforementioned category of actively inconveniencing the people around her. It was only a matter of time before this pile of trash was going to cause property damage, and because the author had been following and presumably documenting this for quite some time now, there was no denying that the neighbor owed the author some money to repair the fence. What's even more amusing is that the neighbor not only refused to assume responsibility, but she also tried to get out of the conflict by ghosting the author. That backfired pretty quickly when the author decided to retaliate by getting rid of her neighbors' piles of personal items.

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    I don't know if ages matter but I (F30) live with my wife and our two sons. We are homeowners and have had some trouble with
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    our next door neighbors. They're a young nuclear family, two parents in their 30's with a little baby.
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    We aren't the type of neighbors to spy into yards or monitor what everyone is doing so we hadn't really noticed that their backyard is a pigsty, at least not until our fence panels had been broken.
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    These neighbors had been piling trash and leaning it up against OUR fence, and eventually the sheer weight of it had just broken it, causing it all to spill into our
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    yard. There were old pieces of wood, metal, garbage bags, pieces of furniture and just general clutter and crop.
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    I confronted the neighbors and informed them of what happened. I asked politely that they clear up the garbage and contribute some money towards
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    a new fence. The husband said he'd sort it out, but after 2 weeks of no change, I knocked on their door again. The wife gave some excuse about how the baby has been crazy but that they would get rid of the garbage asap.
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    Another 3 weeks and nothing. I knocked on their door at two different times, left messages on their ring doorbell and messaged
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    them both on Facebook and it has been radio silence. They've also not given us any money for the fence but to be honest I don't even care.
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    After no response for another week, I took matters into my own hands. I loaded up THEIR garbage into my car and took it to the dump. They're now angry and said that we have no right to get
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    rid of their stuff and it's still their property. When the wife turned up at our door we got into a small argument as she threatened me with small claims court, saying that we owe her and her husband
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    money. I called her a Karen and told her if the stuff was so important she shouldn't have left it littered around in my yard where my kids play for over a month. She says that they
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    would've gotten rid of it if they were given a chance, the nearest dump is over an hours drive away and they dont have all the time in the world. AITA?
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    Cheezburger Image 10530908672
    via Unsplash+ (Blake Cheek)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    meeksworth. NTA they damaged your property and then they abandoned their items on your side of the fence. That's property damage abs littering that they're guilty off, and it's unlikely
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    that any court would grant damages for property they abandoned on someone else's land. YOU should be taking them to small claims court about the damage to your fence.
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    archetyping101. NTA. You gave them five weeks since you first talked to the husband and they did nothing.
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    They're fortunate you aren't charging them for the dump fee (my city charges to dump stuff at the city facility). You could have thrown it back to their home and you didn't.
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    What exactly would they take you to court over? Cleaning their garbage? Saving them time and money? Or are they saying their garbage wasn't garbage?
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    SpaceJesusIsHere. You should take them to small claims court. But before you do, reach out with a certified letter asking for them to either
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    fix the fence or give you $X, by a set date (usually want to give a month at least.) Also, you may want to ask them for money for having to remove the junk they dumped in your yard for weeks. And for any damage to the yard and costs to fix it.
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    Keep notes in a journal about any other interactions with them. And, if they don't respond by your date, take them to court. Judges look very favorably on plaintiffs who try to solve their own problems before filing a suit.
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    Keep notes. Be calm and polite. Don't argue or interput if they start lying, just wait your turn. Also, get an estimate from the most expensive contractor you can find (thats the amount you ask for in your letter) and bring that written estimate to court. You
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    may also want to sue for missing work and hiring child care to go to court. Not likely to get it, but if they're to the judge you may get lucky.
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    Above all: don't threaten to sue them. Ever. Don't ever list consequences in your letter or conversations with them. Just ask for the money you're owed and give them a date you'd like it by. If they ask or else what?, don't day you'll sue them. Just say nothing.
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    No threats. Just get an estimate, send the certified letter with delivery receipt proof, then sue them if they don't pay.
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    Do not have any conversations with them about this in person. Only where you can have a record. ΝΤΑ
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suburbs aita neighbors AITAH house neighborhood neighborhood-drama neighborhood-stories entitled people karma entitled people
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