42-year-old single dad snaps at 20-year-old daughter for being uncomfortable with him dating multiple women at once: 'After everything I gave up for you, after years of putting you and your sister first, this is what I get?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 26, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Many parents neglect themselves and use their children as an excuse for doing so. How many moms and dads do you know who have a horrible diet, take inadequate care of themselves in general, never do anything fun, all in the name of being a good parent? Probably a couple, and chances are they aren't the best parents you know either. I'm not talking about a single mom who is scraping by just to keep the lights on for her kids. I'm referring to parents who are middle class and actively choose to neglect their own needs because they believe being self-sacrificial makes them good parents. A child is not going to be traumatized because their mom needs a spa day and an afternoon away from them once a month, and it's kind of silly to think otherwise. Parents need to put on their own oxygen mask before helping others, both in airplanes and in life.

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  • The dad in this story neglected himself for years, and didn't start taking back his life until after his daughters moved out and went to college. When they came back, they found their dad unrecognizable in some good ways, and some ways that made them utterly uncomfortable.

  • 01

    AITA for snapping at my daughter after she said she’s uncomfortable with me dating again?

    I'm a 42 year old single dad with twin daughters who are 20. Their mom divorced me when they were 8. It wasn't ugly, she was apologetic and kind about it, but it still wrecked me because I really loved her.
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 02
    After the kids were born, I stopped being me. I stopped caring about how I looked, stopped working out, stopped even thinking about my own needs. My entire life became about my daughters and work. I
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 03
    gained weight, looked years older than I was, and felt invisible. I loved my girls, but I lost myself, and I couldn't really fault my wife for no longer being attracted to me, both emotionally and physically.
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 04
    A year after our divorce, my ex wife remarried a very attractive man. She rebuilt her life, even had another kid. And I stayed stuck. I didn't have the confidence, energy, or even the appearance to date. So I just... didn't. I buried
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 05
    any need for intimacy and focused on being the best father I could to my daughters, vacations, school events, late night talks, everything. I had a really close bond with them.
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10534357504
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    But when my daughters left for college, the silence in the house was crushing. I felt really sad when I went out to eat alone and saw couples at restaurants or movies. I realized I'd given everything to my daughters for over a decade, and in return I had nothing for myself. I started
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 08
    therapy, which genuinely saved me. Then I took care of my body. I worked out, lost weight, started grooming myself, dressing better, taking pride in who I was. By the end of a year, I didn't just look good, I felt alive. I got a lot of compliments from my friends and family, and a lot of them were shocked. I will admit, I was really
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 09
    proud of my how I looked, and now both therapy and gym are an active part of my life. When I finally dipped back into the dating world, it was like waking up from a 12 year coma. The first time I was touched again, the first time I had s after so many years...it was
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 10
    overwhelming. It wasn't just about the physical part, it was about feeling wanted, feeling like a man again. And the second time, with someone new, it felt intoxicating. Liberating. Like I'd been missing this essential part of myself all those years.
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 11
    Since then, I've been seeing a few women. Not in a trashy way, I'm upfront and honest with them. We go on dates, talk for hours, laugh, watch movies... and yes, we're intimate. Some are younger, some closer to my age, but every connection makes me feel alive again. I'm not looking to
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 12
    settle down, I'm just enjoying this stage, after over a decade of nothing, I'm rediscovering who I am as a man. My daughters came home for summer break, and last night one of them told me she's uncomfortable with how often I'm "bringing different women around." She said it makes the
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10534358528
    via Jonathan Borba

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    house feel strange, that she's not used to seeing me like this. I snapped. I told her, "Have some shame. After everything I gave up for you, after years of putting you and your sister first, this is what I get? You judging me the moment I finally get to breathe?"
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 15
    She tried not to cry but she did, and I ended up consoling her and I felt really bad. But what she said hurt. For years I sacrificed my happiness, my body, my identity, so my daughters could have a stable life. And the one time I let myself be free, my own daughter looks at me like I'm doing something wrong? It felt like a slap in the face.
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 16
    AITA for telling my daughter to have some shame after she confronted me about my dating and s life?
    via u/EitherAd2486
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10534327040
    via Paul Jai

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    NormalSkill2126 YTA for your response to her. The clear manipulative language was not conducive to a healthy and helpful conversation with your daughter. Of course you get your own life, you don't get to blame her or guilt her for your past choices.
    via u/NormalSkill2126
  • 19
    New_Nobody9492 Better take this back to a therapy session, OP!
    via u/New_Nobody9492
  • 20
    Tiger_Dense I think it's likely different women that affected her, rather than the fact you're dating. Seriously, would you be happy if your daughter brought home a different man every night?
    via u/Tiger_Dense
  • 21
    Sloane_Noa3 There's a middle ground between sacrificing everything and making your house feel like a Tinder hub. I think she's just overwhelmed. This isn't about policing his love life, it's about the energy that comes from having strangers in a space that's still “home” to your kids.
    via u/Sloane_Noa3
  • 22
    Winter_Insurance_216 YTA - they didn't ask you to give up your life for them so you shouldn't be trying to lay that on them. You definitely have the "right" to date but you could have and should have handled this conversation very differently. Also - she didn't say she was uncomfortable with you dating.
    via u/Winter_Insurance_216
  • 23
    pineboxwaiting QUESTION: What does she mean when she says you're bringing different women around? Are you bringing your various dates home for sleepovers & your daughters are awkwardly meeting a string of different women every morning? I'm wondering if your daughter has a problem with you dating or with you flaunting your s life.
    via u/pineboxwaiting
  • 24
    ThrowRA_CanOfBeans He says a few, but then he's like "some are younger, some are closer to my age" and it got me wondering the same thing. OP, how much is "a few" to you??
    via u/ThrowRA_CanOfBeans
  • 25
    Human_Ad_2869 and how close in age are some of them to his daughters? what exactly does he mean by "younger"?
    via u/Human_Ad_2869
  • 26
    LeylaJoyride Not tryna be harsh but if your daughter's crying after a convo, maybe ask why instead of just feeling attacked. Healing doesn't mean steamrolling people who love you.
    via u/LeylaJoyride
  • 27
    Potential-Hawk-5217 This really boils down to communication and boundaries. She's not mad you're dating. She's probably just not cool with being collateral exposure to your new identity.
    via u/Potential-Hawk-5217

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single life single dad family drama single raising daughters reddit story daughters dad family twins daughter Reddit college student dating Father
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