'I feel like I should get at least some of my money back': Trip organizer charges friend $700 for bailing on vacation despite finding someone to take their place

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 26, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Planning a vacation is a stressful business. If you're renting an Airbnb, someone has to put their card down, and that can be a financial burden. If you're the one in that situation, odds are you're probably being scrupulous about who pays you back and how much. You don't want to be left with the bill at the end of the day. So hopefully you have friends who share your concern. They will do whatever is possible to make sure you don't end up in the hole. 

But what happens when cancellations occur? Surely it depends on what's refundable and what's not, but any change in the number of people can throw off the whole ecosystem. The number of people who are splitting the cost can dramatically alter what each person is paying. It seems right that the person who cancelled should be the one to bear the brunt of the cost, but is that always fair? Does that leave room for the trip organizer to skim a little bit off the top? Should they be able to do that, given the work they've put in? 

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  • A woman counts hundred dollar bills.
    via Unsplash+ (Kateryna Hliznitsova)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Those are the questions that came up in this story about a group of friends who were planning a vacation together. But when one of them bailed, the trip organizer was left with a problem. But did they take it too far and end up scamming their friend? Read on for the details. 

  • Am I in the wrong for asking the trip organizer for a refund after she replaced me with someone else?

    I was supposed to go on a group trip with 8 people in July. The cost was split into two payments, one due in April and one in June. I sent the first payment of $700 in April.
    via u/MrBleuPotato
  • In May, two months before the trip, I had to back out for personal reasons. Another person also dropped out around the same time, also after paying the same first installment. This left the group with 6 people.
    via u/MrBleuPotato
  • I told the organizer right away and asked if I could get at least part of my payment refunded. She said no because the remaining group would have to split the cost of my second installment, and it wasn't her responsibility to find someone else to take my place. I accepted this, even though $700 is a lot of money to me.
    via u/MrBleuPotato
  • However, I just learned that she did end up finding two replacement people, so the group was back to 8. As I see it, that means either those new people went for cheaper because of my $700, or the organizer charged them the full amount and kept the difference. With this in mind, I feel like I should get at least some of my money back, since the "extra cost" the group had to cover because of me wasn't a problem in the end. AITA for asking the organizer to return at least part of my $700?
    via u/MrBleuPotato
  • A friend group takes a photo together by a lake.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters gave their opinions about who was in the wrong here.

    oop_norf • 2h ago You're NTA - there are alternative possibilities in which you might not be entitled to your money back, but given that the organiser clearly said "no because the remaining group would have to split the cost of my second installment" then you clearly are. Her reason for not giving it back no longer applies, so she should give it back.
    via u/oop_norf
  • 1962Mi... 2h ago Edited 1h ago • • NAH. I'm assuming this "organizer" is a friend, and not a travel agent. But this person had to reserve a VRBO or whatever and I'm sure the rental required the pre- payments. There is no reason for the organizer, or the other attendees, to have to cover the
    via u/1962Michael
  • extra costs when you backed out. The whole point of requiring a deposit, is so the business can stem its losses in the case of cancellations. When you and the other person dropped out, the cost of the trip for the remaining 6 went from $1400, up to $1633 each, even keeping your deposit money.
    via u/1962Michael
  • If YOU had found your own replacement, then you could negotiate with that person to possibly reimburse you for at least part of your deposit. You didn't do that. You apparently expected the organizer to do a bunch of extra work to make up for you changing your plans.
    via u/1962Michael
  • In order to keep the cost down to the original $1400/person, the organizer had to find a way to cover the missing $1400 due to the 2 cancellations. If she found 2 people to go and charged them only $700, that would be completely appropriate. She is offering them a discount to go on a last- minute trip they didn't plan on. If she charged them, say, $1100, then the original 8 people should all get $50 back.
    via u/1962Michael
  • ImpossibleReason2204 2h ago Are we talking about a group of friends here, or a travel agent? If the former, then this is a great cautionary tale about how not to travel with friends. Putting one person in charge and expecting that person to manage everything for everyone creates a transactional situation where someone is bound to get f ed over.
    via u/ImpossibleReason2204
  • If it's the latter check your contract. ESH, make your own travel arrangements.
    via u/ImpossibleReason2204
  • Individual_Ad_9213 2h ago NTA for asking. The worst thing that happens is that the organizer says "no."
    via u/Individual_Ad_9213
  • DubiousPeople Pleaser 1h ago You and another dropped out and left 6 people to cover an extra $234. She could have been a hard a and told you to stick to your commitment and to pony up. She didn't.
    via u/DubiousPeoplePleaser
  • Then she got someone to come. Doesn't mean she got anyone to come at full price. She may have had to sell the trip cheap or be out the money you bailed on. What have we learned from this? 1. don't commit to non refundable trips
    via u/DubiousPeoplePleaser
  • 2. order through a business and have insurance 3. don't expect your friends to cover your inability to follow through on financial commitments. Causing YTA them stress and having to scramble for a replacement
    via u/DubiousPeoplePleaser
  • Mayalestrange • 2h ago NTA. There may be no refund to give if she was only able to convince people to join the trip by selling the spots at a lower cost based on what had already been paid. But this person isn't really your friend if they didn't explain that
    via u/Mayalestrange
  • to you as soon as they found someone to take your spot. Or they are still p ed at you for cancelling and that's keeping. them from being a good friend at the moment. If the people they found were able to pay the full amount, they do owe that money to you.
    via u/Mayalestrange
  • The lesson here is when planning trips with friends is to either book separately and have your own cancellation insurance or be prepared to lose your money if you have to cancel in order to not ruin the friendship.
    via u/Mayalestrange
  • LividLife55411h ago You don't know that the new people double-paid. Most likely, they did not. I.e. they only went to avoid wasting the money that was spent.
    via u/LividLife5541
  • This kind of thing happens all the time, e.g. four months in advance my girlfriend and I will say, let's go to this concert. I buy the tickets. We break up. I have an "extra ticket" so I look for ANYONE who will go (and even getting someone to go to a random concert is not easy). I manage to find someone to go and at least the ticket was not wasted.
    via u/LividLife5541
  • As hard as it is to find someone to go to a concert, I can't imagine how hard it is to find someone to go on a trip. So with that in mind I do not think the new people double-paid. In my life experience that did not happen.
    via u/LividLife5541
  • Melodic-Dark6545 1h ago NTA. Since the organizer found two more to fill the gaps, she should give it back. Nobody is now splitting the cost of your second installment These two new people have to pay full price, as anyone else. So your $700 are going to whom, exactly?
    via u/Melodic-Dark6545
  • • AnythingGoes By2014 · 2h ago obviously the organizer is pocketing your money. the rest of the group paid contractual price. it all comes down to the contract you signed. this appears to me a commercial arrangement and not a friend group?
    via u/AnythingGoesBy2014
  • . FairyCompetent • 55m ago NTA. Unless it was clearly stated that the deposit was non- refundable, they should return your money since you were replaced.
    via u/FairyCompetent
  • • Separate-Debate3839 41m ago It's possible she was only able to get the replacements because they were told they'd only have to pay the remainder If she got paid in full she should reimburse you, but it sounds like the replacements got a deal. If you wanted a full refund you should've found a replacement
    via u/Separate-Debate3839
  • vvlunaa • 43m ago . NTA. You backed out early, she told you no refund because the group would eat the cost, fine. But then she replaced you and kept your $700? That's shady. At best it's unfair, at worst it's stealing. You're absolutely right to ask for your money back.
    via u/vvlunaa

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