Mom excludes son's girlfriend from family cruise and plans it on the couple's 3-year anniversary, he chooses to go on the trip: ‘Let’s do one last family vacation before life gets in the way'

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    AITA for being upset that my boyfriend's family scheduled a vacation over our anniversary?

    A family made up of an older couple and a younger couple cheer on a boat
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    posted this on a different subreddit and they removed it for some reason. To answer some FAQ from that thread: No, I was
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    not invited. The anniversary is our 3 year anniversary of dating it's just the first one since we went
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    from long distances to living together. We have never broken up or taken a break... don't know where that kept coming from.
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    My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been together for 3 years. This year is our first anniversary
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    while living together, and it feels extra important because we went through a really rough patch that almost ended our relationship. To
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    me, this anniversary isn't just a date, it's a celebration of everything we have overcome together.
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    Man holding roses behind his back and approaching his date
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    Here's the issue. His mom didn't like that we moved in together. The following weekend, she sent out a group message saying
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    "Let's do one last family vacation before life gets in the way" and gave out dates. The main date she pushed for was the week of our anniversary. She also knows
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    when our anniversary is. For context, they haven't done a family vacation in years, so I can't help but wonder why now and why then. She also gave out another option in February, but they did not choose that.
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    My boyfriend told me he needs to go because it means a lot to his mom. He tried to compromise by saying they would go the week before instead, and he would be
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    back the day before our anniversary. But they are going on a cruise, and I know how he gets after traveling, exhausted,
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    jet lagged, and easily irritated. I don't want our anniversary, which means so much to me, to feel overshadowed by him being. wiped out from a trip.
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    Wooden chairs on a cruise ship facing the sea
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    What really hurts is he keeps saying he needs to go for his mom, but what about me? What about how important this
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    anniversary is for us? I don't want him to skip the trip, I just wish he would recognize that my feelings deserve to come first sometimes too.
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    3kids_nomoney As someone who has been married over 15 yrs. Let this be. Let him be with his family. And while he's gone, really think what you want to do with your life and this relationship. I'm serious, pro and con list this. Date yourself during that time. Do some soul searching.
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    You've portrayed your boyfriend's mother out to be a villain. And for that much investment, you'd need a ring on your finger. Don't waste your time on this.
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    Usual Suspect1369 The anniversary is not important evidently to anyone but you. And you should think about that because it should be you and your boyfriend that it's important to.
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    And you're not invited? Welcome to the rest of your life.
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    A couple sit on a couch with arms folded and facing away from each other
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    Bibliophile_w_coffee Ma'am, when someone shows you who they are, you need to listen. Don't keep talking, don't keep saying "but this is really important. Listen.
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    He chose his mom. He acknowledged that something is important to his mom and he is going to handle it. It should undo like he did compromise by coming back before your anniversary, but if not, oh well.
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    The point for me is that after three years, you aren't family and aren't invited on family vacations. How long are you going to be in a relationship where you aren't family, and where he doesn't make you family?
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    TranslatorWaste7011 Granted I've been with my now husband for almost 20 years. My in-laws have invited me to everything since early on in our relationship. My mother-in-law
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    would NEVER plan something on our anniversary and not include me. She'd say, I'm taking the kids, you two go out and have a date night or a weekend away. 3 years is a long time to not be included in a trip.
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    Legion1117 They're not married. Not even engaged. This amount of "ME ME ME!!!" on a dating anniversary is kinda crazy.
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    Odd-End-1405 Do you really think his mother said...Oh...let me plan a vacation on a dating anniversary? She may kind of know the date, but who keeps track of those kind of things other than the couple?
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    I understand you are hurt because the date means something to YOU. Does he feel it is an important anniversary? Did he even know it was a thing?

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