27-year-old homeowner rents her basement to mother-in-law, who in return demands to be included in household decisions, daughter-in-law refuses: 'This isn't a shared space'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 14, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

As much as I get along with my mother-in-law, and I do, we genuinely have a great relationship, there is one thing I will never allow in that relationship, no matter how good we might get along – I don't even want to find myself living with her, neither in her house nor in ours. And honestly? I don't think we should even spend more than a couple of consecutive days with each other without some kind of a break.

Again, not because I hate her, or something. I just think that some space is necessary.

The daughter-in-law in the story below will definitely agree with me, because she broke my rule, and now she is really regretting it. To help out her mother-in-law, she agreed to let her move into her basement. MIL moved in as a legal tenant, paying rent to her son and daughter-in-law.

Since she pays rent, MIL decided that she is entitled to comment on decisions around the house, like where the furniture in the living room should go, and whether or not the couple can make noise in their own home.

The DIL does not appreciate being bossed around in her own home, and this led to quite a family dispute. Scroll down to read the rest.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10553042944
    via studioroman

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for moving my own furniture around even though my MIL pays us rent?

    So my partner (28M) and I (27F) own our home. We rent out the basement apartment to my MIL because she needed a place to live and we wanted to help her out.
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 03
    She pays us rent, which is fine, she has her own separate space, her own furniture, etc. The issue is, she seems to think paying us rent gives her a say in how we live upstairs.
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 04
    The other day, my partner and I moved some furniture around in our living room. Nothing crazy, just rearranging things to make the space flow better for us.
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 05
    Later, MIL came upstairs and told us we "shouldn't be moving things without asking her first." I was stunned, this isn't a shared space. This is our living room...
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 06
    She doubled down and said we should move everything back because she "didn't like the energy of it." For context, she doesn't even spend much time upstairs, except when she visits or comes into the kitchen.
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 07
    But she acted like we'd personally wronged her... I told her kindly that upstairs is our space, and she doesn't get a say in how we arrange it.
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 08
    She got upset and said since she "helps pay for the house" by renting the basement, she should get some input. I personally don't think that's fair...
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 09
    Yes, she's a tenant, but her rent covers her apartment, not the entire house... I feel like this is a massive overstep on her part, but she keeps acting like I was ride and dismissive for not "including her."
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 10
    So AITA for telling my MIL she doesn't get to dictate how we set up our living room?
    via Realistic_Rice_335
  • 11
    Couple help set sofa and move furnitur
    via shisuka

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    Flashy-Funny8096 NTA- you two own the house, she just pays rent. You can do whatever you want with YOUR space.
    via Flashy-Funny8096
  • 13
    immadriftersbody NTA, she pays rent to you and I would honestly let her know "If you cannot handle that we can move our stuff in our parts of the house, maybe you should look into renting an apartment somewhere else.
    via immadriftersbody
  • 14
    This is my home, and I will decorate it as I please. Your money covers your area, we do not tell you how to decorate your area, so respect that same rule here." It sounds
    via immadriftersbody
  • 15
    like she might be trying to assert herself as 'THE' woman/homemaker and it needs to be brought up to your husband she either backs off or she needs to find
    via immadriftersbody
  • 16
    somewhere else. You don't want it to become a hostile living situation because she's got it in her head she runs the show.
    via immadriftersbody
  • 17
    Dachshundmom5 You have a lease written up, right? She can't sue and claim she's "helping pay for the house" and claim you owe her equity? You need clear terms and boundaries.
    via Dachshundmom5
  • 18
    Your SO needs to deal with her and shut her down. Reinforce what is her space vs yours.
    via Dachshundmom5
  • 19
    Decent-Historian-207 Your partner needs to tell their mother to back off. NTA
    via Decent-Historian-207
  • 20
    Clean-Fisherman-4601 NTA. If she was renting an apartment elsewhere, she couldn't demand her upstairs neighbor had to change their furniture arrangement to suit her taste.
    via Clean-Fisherman-4601

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furniture family drama daughter in law aita house mother homeowner reddit story parenting paying rent mother in law family sister Reddit home women parents Father
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