She texts me from random numbers asking for money’: Man cuts contact with narcissistic mother after she racks up nearly $50k in credit card debt in his stepfather's name, gets into a screaming match with his wife, and irresponsibly purchases an $1800 dog

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Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Sep 16, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Sometimes, family drama goes above simple disagreements and parenting incompatibilities. Money matters, narcissism, and theft, paired with manipulative lying tactics, lay the groundwork for a nearly unbearable familial relationship. If family members cannot work with each other honestly, gently, and empathetically, there is no chance for healing in any regard. Save for the fact that if in-laws are added into the mix, you just might witness a familial implosion.

The man in this next story has to cut contact with his mom after a series of unstable and irresponsible behavior ruins her relationship with his stepfather and threatens the sanity of his wife. How do you come to terms with someone close to you acting out in such a manner? It's difficult to grasp, but once you notice a pattern of behavior, you realize it was probably like this the entire time. It's not fun by any means, but it makes life a lot easier when you know which loose ends to sever.

If you've ever experienced a self-sabotaging, narcissistic family member, you'll likely see a little bit of them in this next story. Scroll below to read the entire post.

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  • Cheezburger Image 10554493696
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "AITA for cutting contact with my mother after she and my wife got into a screaming match, and the police were called?"

    Been a fan of yours for a while, and I love listening to your videos while cooking. This has been rolling around in my head for the last month and a half. There is a lot of information about the people involved, so here are the quick bullet points. I'm sorry for how long this is; it's been a long year.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • • I'm 35M • My wife, Kate, is 26F, with ion severe de My mother, Ella, is 54F . • And my stepfather, Richard, is 38M
    via HeroMurKnight
  • For context, Ella has changed over the years and become more selfish with her wants as she has gotten older. Growing up, she did a lot for the family, but she would always make snide remarks about never getting what she wanted.
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  • She blamed her upbringing, saying she was under her own mother's foot, and having me at 16 caused her to grow up too fast. She and my biological father
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  • divorced when I was 16, and she got with her current husband, Richard, shortly after. They had been married for the last 13 years, and are now divorcing.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Kate and I have been renting a room from Ella and Richard since 2020, at first because we were not stable enough to get a place of our own, but then to help with all of Ella's animals. At the time, she had 3 dogs and 3 cats.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Richard and Ella purchased a house in 2022, it's big enough for a family of 4 and 8 animals (Ella got 2 new cats before purchasing the house), but then a year later, we got hit by a tornado and were displaced. Kate and I were doing
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  • the best we could to help out while working, while Richard was working and handling the insurance for the repair of the home. Ella hadn't worked since 2016, and she had gotten used to handling the financial aspect of the home. Sometime during the
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  • displacement, she accused Richard of cheating on her with a friend he knew, and she started spending more money than he was making. During the 2 years that it took to get the house
    via HeroMurKnight
  • rebuilt, she had spent at least $3k a month on anything and everything. She would go to thrift stores, Goodwill, Estate Sales, garage sales; basically anything that had something on discount, she was there. Even going so far
    via HeroMurKnight
  • as to force Richard to allow her to buy a new SUV. He wanted to get her something small, only usable for work, but she threw such a fit about it that she finally got the SUV she wanted, but it was in his name, as she said she didn't have any credit history after bankruptcy.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Here is where everything went to h I. Kate and Ella were not getting along, and I was doing my best to stand with my wife to help her through her depres on. Ella told us in March that she was looking at getting another puppy.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • We already have 3 dogs (2 chihuahua mix, 1 boxer/lab mix) and 5 cats (2 male orange tabby, 2 calico, 1 munchkin). I walked into the kitchen and overheard Kate and Ella in a heated exchange about the animals. The
    via HeroMurKnight
  • dogs hadn't been to the vet in over 4 years, and one of the chihuahuas had just turned 13, so she is really old. Ella complained about not being able to buy what she wanted, but Kate told her that everything in the house was
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  • what she wanted, and it was just piling up more. Ella threw up her hands and stormed off before anyone else could speak. She actually gave us both the silent treatment for a couple of days.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • The following week, I asked Ella about the issue. She told me the story about how she found a new puppy she wanted, and it was unfair that she couldn't have it. I told her she was being selfish for wanting to get another animal when she doesn't take care of the others. She said, "I am a grown, 54-year-old woman, and can do what I want."
    via HeroMurKnight
  • This was the start of everything going wrong. I told Kate we were going to leave it alone, but tell Richard about what she was planning because he deserved to know. Exactly 24 hours after she told me, she went and took out a personal loan of $1800 for the puppy. She hid the cost of the
    via HeroMurKnight
  • puppy from everyone because she put it on Richard's credit. Fast forward to July. Kate and I started talking about moving out since we were in a spot to be able to get an apartment for us. Ella found out about us looking at apartments and started asking us
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  • to take her with us, because she wanted a separation from Richard. She claimed that he was being controlling, ab ive, and violent, but we hadn't ever heard or seen him that way. I asked Richard about the issues, and he told me that Ella had maxed out
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  • all 8 of his credit cards in the past 14 months, racking up a debt of nearly $50k, and even had credit cards to places he didn't even like to shop at. He told her she would need to help him pay back the debt with her paycheck, and that is why she wanted to leave. Right after this,
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Kate found out that Ella was on dating apps and seeing men behind Richard's back to get money from them. The whole time she was at work, she left her new puppy in the care of Kate, and Ella would be gone almost every weekend for "business".
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Kate and I were sick of being treated like servants, and I told Ella that she had to handle the puppy on her own because we were not going to train or take care of it, as we all disagreed with her having the puppy. She
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  • got mad and stormed out after locking the puppy in the bathroom and left for a couple of days. I know I should have called animal control on her for that, but we both felt sorry for the puppy.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • In August, Ella managed to pay for an apartment under the table to move in on the first Friday. She told us that Richard was forcing her to leave, but we knew he wasn't forcing her to move out.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Cheezburger Image 10554493952
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He wanted to try and fix it, but she believes everything wrong is his fault. The following Saturday, after she moved into her new apartment, she came by to get some things from the house that she had left behind. She had only taken a single carload of things with her to the apartment and didn't want to get a U-Haul,
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  • because she apparently didn't have the money to spend. There was a big argument about her stuff, because Richard was not going to pay for her to be moved out after she told all of us that she didn't want our help. She demanded that we move her bed to the new apartment, and
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Richard told her he wasn't going to help, because she didn't want it before. She then told me that it was my duty to help her, since I'm her son, and I owe it to her. I told her I wasn't going to help either, not after how she had treated Kate and me with the puppy. She left and came back Sunday morning with a U-Haul.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Sunday morning, I was at work and wasn't there to oversee her moving of anything. Kate and Richard were there to make sure she only took what was hers, nothing more. According to Richard and Kate, Ella was told to keep her puppy at her new apartment while getting all of her remaining things. Instead, she
    via HeroMurKnight
  • showed up with the puppy and let it out in the back yard to run around and play with the other dogs. Sometime during the hour she was there, she let her puppy into the house, and Kate told Richard the puppy was in the house. Richard told Ella to take the puppy back outside or to leave right then. Ella got angry at
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Kate and told her she should be nicer to her "after everything I had done for you". Kate, who grew up in an a ive home, snapped back at Ella and called her a narcissist, and got in her face. Ella had attempted to slap Kate, but Richard got in between them and told Ella to leave. Ella
    via HeroMurKnight
  • left, but came back to the house an hour later with the police to keep her and Kate from being in the same room. Kate told me about what happened, and I cut off Ella entirely from all contact. Anytime Ella comes by the house to get something, we don't talk, but she texts me from random numbers asking for money.
    via HeroMurKnight
  • It's been just a little over a month, and Ella has been evicted from her apartment, living with a friend who does not want her around anymore, and has lost everything. I still feel like an for cutting her off, but also feel like it was necessary. So, AITA?
    via HeroMurKnight
  • Neither-Progress-773 NTA Stay no contact with your mom. Actions have consequences and she needs to learn to deal with hers
    via Neither-Progress-773
  • Bluntandfiesty Keep your mom NC, and keep Richard. Sounds like he's the better "family member". And I'd also suggest that he file a police complaint against her and report the cards as fraudulent. Just because they're legally married doesn't mean she has legal rights to open credit in his name or use cards in his name.
    via Bluntandfiesty

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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