52-year-old husband forces wife to cook restrictive meals for his 17-year-old daughter, leaving her kids to only eat what she does: 'My kids are sick of it and so am I'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 24, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Cooking for a family is a full-time job. Even for just a family of three, cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner would take all day. And yet we expect so many of us to do it while also working full-time jobs. And we expect them to cater to all the different dietary needs within the family, as if that doesn't double or trouble the work. Of course, there are ways to get around this. There are ways to make meal time simpler for everybody in the family. But that generally means somebody has to compromise. Maybe one of your kids doesn't eat meat, and the other one is obsessed with protein. You try to make a meal that has both, but ultimately, everybody's gonna be a little bit unhappy. 

This is why it is best for everyone to learn how to fend for themselves when they can. Especially when they reach teenagehood. If you don't know how to make at least a simple meal by the time you're 16, somebody has done something wrong. 

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  • A woman prepares food for her family while her husband stands behind her.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • You don't have to be doing it all the time, after all, you're still a kid, but you shouldn't expect everyone to go out of their way to accommodate your needs. But that's what was happening in this family when the mom finally had enough. She was tired of catering to her husband's kids, leaving her own to suffer. Read on to see what happened in the story and how they worked through it together. 

  • Am I in the wrong for saying to my partner that my step daughter needs to make her own meals?

    I (F46) have been with my partner (M52) for 11 years. We have shared custody of his two children (F17) and (M15) and also share custody of one of my children (M15) my 17 year old son lives with us full time. My issue is that my partners daughter has huge food issues. She has no diversity in her food,
    via u/snow-angel629
  • won't try anything new and we basically live off chicken and mince when she is here. She won't eat fruit and only has very basic vegetables (carrot, lettuce and cucumber). I'm sooooo sick of the same meals every week. I can't even eat the spaghetti bolognese anymore, and everything I cook for the family is fatty, and horrible. My kids are sick of it and so am I. I have asked my partner dozens of times over the years to get her into
    via u/snow-angel629
  • some food therapy program, but he has just ignored my requests. I am a busy mum with a full time job. I don't want to make individual meals for her, she will be 18 next month so I can't see a reason as to why she can't sort herself out. AITA for saying to my partner that she needs to sort her own meals out so that we can eat normally again?
    via u/snow-angel629

  • Commenters came in with ideas on how to tackle this.

    BeachinLife1 · 23h ago You are NTA, and I would not "ask" your partner, I would "inform" him that this is what is going to start happening. She can go get herself a Happy Meal with McNuggets or whatever, but the rest of you are going to start having normal meals. She can eat however she wants to, but she does not get to hold the entire family hostage to her weird dietary preferences.
    via u/BeachinLife1
  • Keep the things she eats on hand, so she will have something to eat, but she can fix it herself.
    via u/BeachinLife1
  • hummingbird7777... . 23h ago Makes perfect sense to me, as long as you keep her foods supplied.
    via u/hummingbird7777
  • nitul88 23h ago . Nta. In my home, my MIL likes typical her cultural cuisine, while my wife and I we explore a lot and prepare new recipes. My MIL cooks her own while I and my partner cook our own most of the times. Sometimes it happens that my MIL and my wife want their cultural food, while me wanting a different food and we prepare our food individually to not cause inconvenience to others.
    via u/nitul88
  • A woman hands a bowl of food to someone.
    via Dan DeAlmeida

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Current-Ad-3233 23h ago NTA- If she eats the same thing all the time she should have no trouble learning to make it herself tbh, maybe you can help teach her how to cook her own meals when you have some free time? So that she doesn't feel like it's a personal attack on her
    via u/Current-Ad-3233
  • Right_Song_1948 • 23h ago NTA It's time she learns to cook her own meals anyhow. Maybe you can teach her how to make the ones you normally make her so it can be an actual long term solution. Otherwise it could be overwhelming for
    via u/Right_Song_1948
  • everyone. If she has ARFID she may just stop eating if she doesn't know how to cook. Plus teaching her as opposed to saying enough is enough would be more loving, and wouldn't result in as much conflict ideally.
    via u/Right_Song_1948
  • claireclairey • 23h ago NTA. Of course he's ignoring your request, it's just a request and meanwhile you're still the one making all the meals, not him. She's old enough to be responsible for her own meals, and if your partner doesn't agree, HE can make her meals for her.
    via u/claireclairey
  • If you're cooking for 4-5 people, then everyone should have a chance to eat a meal they prefer. You should not all always have to eat the meals only one person prefers.
    via u/claireclairey
  • Savingskitty 23h ago Can't your partner make her meals?
    via u/Savingskitty
  • goths2017 17h ago . This is bonkers. I was a picky eater as a kid and if I didn't like what we were having for dinner I made myself a sandwich. Why is this your problem? Why doesn't your husband make her a separate meal? How does she have zero cooking skills if she only likes a handful of foods?
    via u/goths2017
  • No-Set-4246 · 23h ago Could you help her batch cook some protein? Then it would just be a five minute project for her to cut up some vegetables and microwave a chicken breast at dinner time and still eat with the family (while you all eat real food).
    via u/No-Set-4246
  • Antique-Sherbet-7... 23h ago One of my kids is like that. He's 14 now but he gets to either eat what we make or he can make his own food. A lot of times he makes his own. He's been doing this for the past two years. We've been to OT and speech therapy for
    via u/Antique-Sherbet-7733
  • it. Anything else is on him now. He does have a little portion that usually gets thrown away of what we eat. Just to get me to stop nagging. It's usually a "few bites" portion which he will eat one bite. She's old enough that she should be trying food you make or making her own.
    via u/Antique-Sherbet-7733
  • I started telling him if you're not going to eat what I make then you go ahead and make your own. I did teach him how to use the stove, air fryer, microwave, kettle, panini maker. Whatever device he needs to make the food he wants to eat. This has helped him to try new things. And he goes to his friend's home
    via u/Antique-Sherbet-7733
  • where his friend uses the oven and ingredients to make more in depth cooking. This has helped him to expand his palate. It's a good learning experience for her to make her own food. She should have been doing this for a while now. Not fair to limit everyone else to her diet.
    via u/Antique-Sherbet-7733
  • JoyReader0 • 22h ago Pfft. I cooked for myself and family at 14. The soon-to-be- 18 is gonna be very hungry when she goes off to college or otherwise leaves home. She should start cooking for herself immediately; she needs the practice. The real world is not gonna do it for her.
    via u/JoyReader0
  • Forcing you to feed her a bad diet, and also forcing the rest of the family to adhere to it, is a simple power game. Hubby is buying into it. Tell your hubby that from now on 1) she cooks and cleans up for herself, or 2) he cooks and cleans up for himself and her, and 3) you will cook decent nutritional food for everyone else.
    via u/JoyReader0
  • Rare-Letterhead-4... 23h ago In the most loving way possible, offer, and then follow through on teaching. her how to make the food she eats. Get her groceries in a separate bag and bring those to her so she can identify and put them away herself.
    via u/Rare-Letterhead-4458
  • Remind her that she's old enough now to live on her own and you wouldn't wanna send her out into the world without knowing how to cook for herself. Be patient and kind. Try to enjoy the experience. No sarcasm.
    via u/Rare-Letterhead-4458
  • Dachshundmom5 23h ago I have a kiddo with a sensory disorder. So a lot of foods are problematic for him for various reasons. I make a meal and have things he will eat available. He's welcome to eat the meal or make one of the things he likes.
    via u/Dachshundmom5
  • Spaghetti (items to make it), chicken nuggets, ham and cheese, etc are always available in our home. My cooked food almost always has something I know he will eat like Mac n cheese, but i wont force our entire household onto his diet.
    via u/Dachshundmom5
  • She's nearly 18. You are an AH for letting it go on this long. The other kids deserved better. NTA for finally expecting a reasonable request.
    via u/Dachshundmom5

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