Mother calls daughters and stepmom's Parent Trap Halloween costume 'inappropriate,' forbids them from wearing it: 'I'd been in the girls life for 7 years at this point'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 30, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

How can a costume from a children's movie be inappropriate? Especially if it's the kid's idea? It's all about jealousy. When one set of twin sisters naturally found joy in The Parent Trap, they wanted to celebrate it by dressing up in costume. A bonus: they had a blonde stepmother who was perfect to dress up as the evil stepmom from the movie. The whole family was excited about it, except one person. 

Halloween costumes are so fun when you're a kid. You get to express your creativity in a way that you don't get to other times of the year. It's your chance to be seen as something else, something more fun. Plus, you get to walk around your neighborhood and get candy for free. There is literally only one time of year when you get to do that. So you'd better take full advantage of that. Group costumes are even more fun. They're a great way to bond with your friends or family, and the more costumes, the merrier. That's what one family decided to do when somebody tried to spoil their fun.

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  • A group of children in costume trick or treat on Halloween.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One stepmom was flattered when her stepkids wanted to include her in their Halloween costume. She saw it as approval of their relationship. But when she got a call from their real mom, she realized that it might be more complicated than that. Read on to see what happened. 

  • Am I in the wrong for doing a group Halloween Costume with my stepdaughters that their mother doesn't approve of?

    I (35F) am the Stepmother to two lovely ten year old twin girls who I adore. I have been married to their father (38M) for five years and we dated for two years before that. I consider myself very close to them and we always have fun whenever they stay with me and their father.
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • They recently asked what kinds of movies I watched when I was their age so it led to me digging out some old classics most notedly the Parent Trap. Of all the older movies I showed them this one was their favourite I think they got a kick out of seeing a movie about twins. They even delighted in the fact that in their opinion I look like
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • Meredith Blake (it's the hair I think no way am I as gorgeous as Elaine Hendrix). It has become an inside joke of us with me often putting on her voice and acting the part while they fall into hysterical giggles. My husband has even gotten into it and playing the clueless Nick when we get into this playful spirit.
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • The girls are staying with us for Halloween, they alternate who has them on holidays and whoever has them for Halloween is in charge of the costume. The girls asked if I would do a group costume with them I was touched and told them of course, and asked them what they wanted to do. I should have seen it coming, they wanted to do the Parent Trap, with them as the girls and me as Meredith. I found it harmless and agreed. My husband found it funny and said he'd even dress as Nick then.
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • I got a call from their Mother today telling me she'd heard of the costume and she didn't approve that she felt it wasn't appropriate. I at first was touched and assumed she worried about their stepmother being portrayed as a wicked gold digger and told her it was fine it was just an inside joke that had occurred that sparked this. That wasn't the issue, she
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • didn't think it was appropriate for me to do a group costume with her daughters at all and that it was clearly lazy and I was forcing it as why else would her daughters want to do a costume from an old movie?
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • I got rather upset here but tried to stay calm on the phone and I told her she might not approve but it was harmless and i'd been in the girls life for 7 tears at this point. My husband who was in the room during the call could see I was getting upset so took the phone off of me and began to get into it with his ex-wife. Telling her that
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • she could have all the issues she wanted but it was an entirely proper costume for their age and it had been the girls who suggested it. Reminding her it was up to him what they dressed as this year and he'd approved of it. I got him to calm down as he was getting upset and the call ended rather tersely.
    via u/LisaoftheRoses
  • I just feel awful about this whole thing and I wonder if I should just bow out of matching the girls in costume if it will prevent further problems. I just know this will be a bigger thing down the line.
    via u/LisaoftheRoses

  • Commenters agreed that there was more to the story.

    Final-Dirt-5250 9h ago • NTA The girls' mother isn't upset about the costume; she's upset that her daughters love you enough to want to do a group costume with you. This is 100% about her own jealousy and insecurity. Don't back down. The girls asked you, and it would hurt them if you pulled out now because their mom threw a fit.
    via u/Final-Dirt-5250
  • A group of children in costume trick or treat on Halloween.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • ThisWillAgeWell • 9h ago So her only objection is that she thinks it's "inappropriate"? When considering what's appropriate behavior and what's not, I am very firmly in the camp of "Whatever makes you happy and harms no one else".
    via u/ThisWillAgeWell
  • The girls would be happy. You would be happy. Their dad would be happy. The costumes are not offensive. The girls' mother is not being harmed in any way by what the girls wear. Go ahead and do it. NTA.
    via u/ThisWillAgeWell
  • cherrycoloured • 7h ago NTA, but im curious, when you say "old movie," do you mean the actually old one, or the one with lindsay lohan? bc if we are calling the latter movie old, im going to start shriveling up
    via u/cherrycoloured
  • Dittoheadforever · 5h ago You're NTA but I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that the 1998 version of The Parent Trap is an old movie. I wonder what the girls would think of the original version.
    via u/Dittoheadforever
  • Sounds like their mom is jealous of your relationship and is actively trying to negatively impact it. Sad, because she should be glad her daughters have a loving, involved stepmom.
    via u/Dittoheadforever
  • StarbuckandTex 7h ago NTA. My stepmom dressed up with me in M&M costumes one year. One year I was a bat and she was a witch. I always had a blast and I'll always remember getting to go with her and how awesome she is for doing that. The only person getting hurt by this is
    via u/StarbuckandTex
  • doing it to herself. It's definitely jealousy and you and your husband are putting the most important people first, the girls. Good job! Stepmoms/dads get so much crop and don't get nearly enough credit for helping to raise the kids.
    via u/StarbuckandTex
  • Fearless_Spring 5611 9h ago . Clear NTA. Sounds like their mother is upset that you've got a positive bond with the kids. Well done, enjoy your group costume!
    via u/Fearless_Spring5611
  • • Key-Phone-3648 · 7h ago The ex doesn't like that you are filling a somewhat parental role in the girls' lives. What she doesn't understand is that having positive. interactions and love from as many people as they can is to their benefit. Ignore her insecurity and keep that great relationship with the girls.
    via u/Key-Phone-3648
  • bindobud 8h ago NTA and I'm sorry that anybody makes you believe you're "only" their stepmother. You're part of their family, and one that engages with them and cares for them - which is everything they so desperately need in childhood, especially coming from separated parents.
    via u/bindobud
  • Clearly the girls enjoy the movie, they requested the costume, and they love you enough to want you to be a part of it. You have nothing to be guilty about, and I think the mother definitely needs to consider why she thinks it'd be inappropriate, because I think it would be more confusing for the girls if you DIDN'T participate with them when you're all hanging out for Halloween.
    via u/bindobud
  • They're not stupid, they know mum and dad fight. But the less they are dragged into being a part of that fight, the better off they'll be.
    via u/bindobud
  • Pleasant Birthday_77 4h ago I think it's really between the mother and father. This is on his time and he has indicated that he likes the idea, so it's really nothing to do with the mother. He has to be allowed to run his contact time as he sees fit.
    via u/Pleasant_Birthday_77
  • Kebar8 6h ago • If a movie sets off the ex, if it's not this it will be another problem. Nta Do it!
    via u/Kebar8
  • CiaranChan • 4h ago NTA . You've clearly been a positive influence in those girls' lives. and being rewarded accordingly by them wanting. to spend time with you in a fun way. Saying no to them would definitely send the wrong signal, as you are clearly a part of their family.
    via u/CiaranChan
  • It sounds like their birth mother is simply jealous that you're becoming a more defined maternal figure in their lives as they get older and get to make more thought-through decisions on who they look up to.
    via u/CiaranChan
  • 04243G 3h ago NTA. But the girls parents, their mother and father, should use this to reassess what boundaries they have with the role of step-parents and how to handle conflict or when they feel someone has overstepped.
    via u/04243G
  • The girls parents having a respectful and successful co- parenting relationship is going to make their lives a lot easier and less stressful.
    via u/04243G

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childcare halloween costumes aita parent trap kids halloween blended family stepmom moms parenting dad The Parent Trap cute kids reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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