6-year-old Thanksgiving tradition put on hold when woman refuses to cook or share recipes after husband's family disparages her cooking: 'Don't bite the hand that feeds'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 2, 2025 12:00 PM EST

At some point, every home cook has to ask themselves whether or not all of their effort is appreciated. I mean, do these people really deserve a homecooked meal made from scratch? Maybe you spend days planning, shopping, and cooking only for someone to compain that "it's not how Mom makes it" or that it  "needs a little more umami flavor." 

Maybe, like one woman online, you've spent the last six years carrying the bulk of Thanksgiving dinner for your in-laws, only to be met with insults. For years, she's poured her heart and countless hours into cooking everything from mac and cheese to candied yams, while her mother-in-law refused to take so much as a bite. But when her teenage stepchild declared she's "the worst cook in the family," she decided enough was enough! Instead of putting effort into the holiday meal, she has vowed to just buy heat-and-serve food for everyone. Now everyone is begging her for her recipes despite their earlier criticism. 

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  • 01

    WIBTA If I put minimal effort into Thanksgiving dinner?

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    via LarsZahnerPhotography from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Alright, so I've been the main cook for the past six years for my husbands family on Thanksgiving. My husband does
    via Reddit
  • 03
    the turkey and the deviled eggs, I do the stuffing, Mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, collard greens, cornbread, and candied yams.
    via Reddit
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    via Denys Gromov from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    There has only been one year where my own family was here because I live on a different coast, and that was met with a lot
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  • 06
    of resistance from his family. I miss my family a lot, and honestly, as years go by,
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  • 07
    spending holidays with only his family is wearing me down. I'm only contributing that information because I think it's impacting my decision making.
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  • 08
    Here's the compounding issue: His mom is a picky eater and refuses to eat anything I cook.
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  • 09
    Has never even taken a bite once or tried anything. I would just cook anyway because it's my
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  • 10
    cook anyway because it's my favorite holiday. She brings over unseasoned baked potatoes and frozen stouffers Mac and cheese for herself.
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  • 11
    Here's the new issue: Last night my stepchild, a teen, decided to announce that I'm the worst cook in the family.
    via Reddit
  • 12
    So in response, after sleeping on it, I told them that I will not be contributing to Thanksgiving outside of cleaning up, and I will just get the boxed foods that they like and call it a day.
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  • 13
    They are now upset and calling me petty, because apparently, they look forward to my Thanksgiving food every year.
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  • 14
    My response has been very to the point, where I say, "It would be rude of me to continue to make these meals since you have
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    all made it clear that you do not enjoy it, and that I am a bad cook. So I am simply making things you like, which are the foods out of the box."
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    via Ron Lach from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    Now they want my recipes and I just... don't want to give them up. I feel like this is my, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" moment.
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  • 18
    I've also decided that next year I'm going to fly home and cook for my parents and extended family instead.
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    via skynesher from Getty Images Signature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 20
    AITA/WIBTA? There's still time for me to suck it up if I am.
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  • 21
    TLDR: Husbands family called me a bad cook. I told them I'll just make boxed food for Thanksgiving. Now they're upset and want my recipes. I refuse.
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  • It's beyond me why they'd want her recipes if they truly believe that her cooking isn't any good! 

  • 22
    cedarhat NTA. Dad and teen can cook with Mother-in-law supervision. Tell them you love them but need a break and it's time to pass the "honor" along.
    via u/cedarhat
  • 23
    leolawilliams5859 I told my family in July that I would not be cooking this year I just didn't feel like it I wanted to go to somebody else's house and have them cook for me. So that's what I'm going to be doing for Thanksgiving today this year yippee ki-yay
    via u/leolawilliams5859
  • 24
    mycatpartyhouse Actions have consequences. Stand your ground.
    via u/mycatpartyhouse
  • 25
    Similar-Cookie1612 And don't give them your recipes. Your food is horrible right? Why would they want them?
    via u/Similar-Cookie1612

Tags

relationship advice family drama marriage thanksgiving wife family feud married life relationships husband family boundaries holidays entitled people
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