34-year-old aunt refuses to look after her 6-year-old nephew while her sister is in surgery because he's constantly mean to her: 'My sister called me a selfish cow'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 5, 2025 8:00 AM EST

Children will listen to what their parents say and model their behavior after them, and this boy is no exception

Some kids are a joy to babysit, and others are an absolute nightmare. If a parent constantly has to beg everyone in their family to babysit their kids, chances are it's not because everyone in the family is heartless and doesn't want to help out. It's much more likely that the kid is not particularly pleasant to babysit, and if that's the case, there's a good chance their parents aren't a joy either. 

Good parents can raise badly behaved kids, especially when they're toddlers. Toddlers are often mean and nasty, but if a child continues to misbehave like a toddler by the time he's 6 or 7, there's a better chance that his bad behavior has something to do with the kind of parenting he's receiving at home. 

Most family members and friends would babysit a kid they didn't particularly care for if there was an actual emergency and their parents couldn't watch them. But that depends on someone's definition of "emergency." If a parent doesn't want to pay a babysitter because they're too cheap and want their family to watch their badly behaved kid for free, that is not an emergency. 

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  • A young boy with blonde hair and a blue shirt
    via Cristina Anne Costello

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story is demanding that her sister watch her son while she's in surgery, despite her offer to pay for a babysitter. Her sister is refusing because the kid constantly mistreats her, and I don't blame her for saying no!

  • Am I wrong for refusing to care for sister’s kid during surgery?

    My sister (34F) has a kid (6M) who has always been rude to me (36F). He has called me names cause I'm overweight and whenever he's been at mine he has just made a mess, screamed, he left the fridge door open and threw food on the floor once, he just seems to have some kind of behavioural issue.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • I told my sister | don't want to look after him again cause I can't control him, I'm not a parent and I just don't know what the right tactics are.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • She was okay with it as she has other friends who can take care of him.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • Cheezburger Image 10572132096
    via A. C. (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Thing is she is now about to go into hospital for a surgery which will have her out for a few days and she's telling me there is nobody who can look after my nephew for that time.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • Now I don't know what to do because while of course I would take vacation time for family but I don't have much left and to be honest, I don't want to be spending it dealing with a kid who just won't give me any respect.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • I told my sister I'm not happy to do it and said I'd be OK to pay for a babysitter but she just called me a selfish cow.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • Woman with brown hair screaming
    via engin akyurt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Others in the family have since texted with various stances, asking me to please reconsider or asking why I am being like this.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • As if I'm meant to magically figure out how to stop him destroying my house or just put up with it.
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • AITA for just not wanting to deal with it even though it's to help my sister with a medical issue?
    via u/Wonderful-Act-198
  • Individual_Ad_9213 NTA. If she called you a "cow," I can see where her son's bad treatment of you comes from. THAT retort, alone, solidifies my opinion that caring for her child should remain her problem.
    via u/Individual_Ad_9213
  • Lazuli_Rose INFO: Why can't any of the relative pestering you step up to help family? Is it because they know the kid misbehaves? Also, since she called you a cow, absolutely DO NOT watch the kids. Tells you a lot about why his misbehaves and calls you names. If you sister calls you again, I would just go "Moo" and hang up. NTA
    via u/Lazuli_Rose
  • NTA Spare-Shirt24 I was leaning towards NA H up until the point where she called you a selfish cow. Don't even spend another second feeling bad about not watching her kid. You offered to pay for a babysitter, which was more than generous and she essentially spat on your offer. Now it's up to her to deal with her unruly offspring. She's not entitled to your time, your PTO, or even your money.
    via u/Spare-Shirt24
  • wesmorgan1 To be clear - this is on her for not parenting her kid. >Others in the family have since texted with various stances, asking me to please reconsider or asking why I am being like this. 1) Tell they exactly why you're "being like this" - in detail. 2) Ask them why they aren't stepping up to take care of the kid. NTA.
    via u/wesmorgan1
  • NTA. Start_over_dude Your nephew likely gets that behavior from somewhere, and that "selfish cow" comment from your sister gives me some suspicions as to the source. She is in no way entitled to your time or sanity. Especially since you'll likely have to host the kid and not get any compensation for the damages. Medical issues or no, there has to be a modicum of respect and she isn't showing it. Don't sacrifice your scant vacation time putting yourself through hell.
    via u/Start_over_dude
  • lickmysackett "but she just called me a selfish cow." well we know where the kid gets it from. NTA. Not your kid, not your problem. Something tells me no one else wanted to take the kid for similar reasons as you.
    via u/lickmysackett
  • AdysGrandma321 Your sister calling you a "Cow" is telling where her son got his rudeness and disrespect from. I wouldn't do any kind of favor for anyone calling me names. Let the opinionated family members watch him
    via u/AdysGrandma321
  • Eestineiu NTA. As a mom, if my kid acted like this then they'd get instant punishment from me the moment I found out about their behaviour. I'm assuming OP has told the sister what her kid's doing, and the sister doesn't care. Neither would be welcome at my house.
    via u/Eestineiu
  • Curious_Eggplant6296 Why are you the only one who can take him? What about these "others in the family"?
    via u/Curious_Eggplant6296
  • GabrielGames69 "Selfish cow"? Under no circumstance should you help her out here after she said that. NTA
    via u/GabrielGames69

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nephews family drama babysitter kids mother overweight sisters siblings friends babysitting aunt family sister mom nephew surgery children
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