Aunt and uncle insist on getting custody of their 8-year-old niece for Thanksgiving and Christmas despite not contacting her for the entire year since her father's passing: 'They said I was keeping her away from them.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 29, 2025 8:00 AM EST

They have no right to take her away from her mother during the holiday season.

Holidays are often the only times of the year when people see their extended family. If you're hanging out with your aunts and cousins every weekend, that's great, but I think I speak for many of us when I say that seeing extended family merely once or twice a year is okay with me. Sometimes, you want to see them even less than that, and I'm here to tell you that is okay. Nobody should be forced to see anyone they really don't want to hang out with, no matter what time of year it is. When you're a kid, you're often stuck with whatever family members your family wants to see in November and December. But when you grow up, you can really create your own holiday traditions with your kids, and if you don't want Great Aunt Susan to be part of it, you are allowed not to invite her. It can be difficult to exclude people from Christmas and Thanksgiving, but sometimes it must be done.

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  • A woman kissing a man on the cheek
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The little girl in this story is lucky she has a mom to protect her from her nefarious aunt and uncle. After calling her mom a gold-digger for saying her daughter is next of kin to her late ex-husband, this man and woman decided they should spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with their niece without her mom and older brother. 

  • Am I the bad guy for not allowing my Late Ex husband’s siblings to pick up our daughter for Thanksgiving and Christmas?

    AITA for not allowing my ex in laws to come for Christmas? In Jan 2024 my Ex husband the Father of my daughter (8) and step dad to my oldest (15) passed away unexpectedly. Our divorce
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • was not amicable but we had gotten to a place where we were able to peacefully co-parent and he even spent Thanksgiving and Christmas Day 2023 with the kids and I at my house. After his
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • passing his Brother (42) well call him James and sister well call her Lotti (53) treated me badly calling me a gold digger and greedy because I said that our daughter was is legal next of kin and should receive his belongings.
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • She was able to receive some of his shirts and a few items of memorabilia but most of his stuff, furniture, cowboy hat & boots, jerseys, and Car were taken by his sister and brother. At the memorial service they insisted that my son his step son be left out of the eulogy completely because he was his legal child.
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • Group of people attending burial
    via Rhodi Lopez

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This crushed my son. He was truly heartbroken, my ex and him had a rocky relationship and were working to repair it before his passing. Fast forward to now, neither Lotti nor James has text/called or asked for an update on their niece or asked how she is doing. They have on occasions
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • where we have been at the same event not even made an effort to come and say hi. Then I got a phone call from them last week asking if they could pick her up on Thursday for Thanksgiving since it would have been their brothers year for the holiday. And that they would like to do the same for Christmas. I said
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • A man in a woman wearing Santa hats standing in front of a car with a Christmas tree in the trunk
    via Sander Sammy

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • absolutely not they could not just pick her up, that we already had plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. They said I was being an asshole and that I was keeping her away from them. When I offered to meet them at a local restaurant for a meal the weekend after Thanksgiving and Christmas to celebrate with them they said they were owed time. just for them and her. I told them
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • that they were not entitled to anything and if they couldn't accept what I was willing to do to accommodate them they they were out of luck. So Am I the A**Hole?
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • BasisPsychological NTA! They are not owed any time with her, nor are you obligated to continue with any parenting/custody plan or agreements. They have no current legal rights. You're beyond gracious (and, a much better person than me) by even offering the weekend meal. How does your daughter feel about them?
    via u/BasisPsychological
  • OP Medium Finding_2462 She doesn't want to see them. Prior to her dad's passing she hadn't seen them in a year.
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • cassowary32 NTA. The audacity of some people! Guess what, there is no longer a custody schedule, so the holiday schedule doesn't hold either! That's wild that they'd think that after the way they treated your family that you'd give them unsupervised access to your daughter. Is your daughter at least receiving his social security death benefits? Did your ex have life insurance?
    via u/cassowary32
  • OP Medium Finding_2462 She is receiving them yes, they are used for her expenses as well as put into a high yield savings for her when she turns 18. His Life insurance and 401K are both being held in an IRA for her when she turns 18.
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • DMV_Lolli Dad died in January. They had Easter, Memorial Day, any random summer weekend, her birthday, Dad's birthday, their birthdays...to reach out and they wait until now? The end of November? Tuh! Tell them to try again next year.
    via u/DMV_Lolli
  • OP Medium_Finding_2462 They didn't even text or call her on her birthday. They have her number
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462
  • hess80 FROM THE IN-LAWS' PERSPECTIVE: We lost our brother and want to maintain a connection with his daughter. These would have been his holidays with her if he was alive. We're grieving and want to keep family traditions. The restaurant suggestion feels impersonal compared to intimate family time we used to have. Our niece is our last connection to our brother, and it feels like we're losing that too. FROM THE OP'S PERSPECTIVE: Absolutely NTA (Not The Ahole). Here's why: They showed their true
    via u/hess80
  • MelG146 Given that they haven't had any meaningful contact with her in a year, no NTA. But maybe prepare yourself for a battle over visitation rights.
    via u/MelG146
  • grumpymuppett NTA an 8 year old probably doesn't have many memories of these people, especially since they've been out of her life for a year, and wouldn't want to spend several hours with basic strangers without her mother and/or brother.
    via u/grumpymuppett
  • alicat777777 No, they are being jerks about it all. NTA. Do what is best for your daughter.
    via u/alicat777777
  • TheArctic Wolf19 NTA, they have been nothing but rude to you, why should your child be allowed anywhere near them? If they can't respect you, they don't get any access to your child, and that's on them, not you.
    via u/TheArcticWolf19
  • Moemoe5 NTA She is a convenience for them just for the holidays. Don't allow her to be used by people who only want to act like family when pictures are involved. I would also send thema text reminding them of their treatment this past year. Your daughter hasn't even been an afterthought to them until now.
    via u/Moemoe5
  • OP Medium Finding_2462 Wow, I am overwhelmed by all the responses. I have contacted a lawyer and we are going to be looking into many of the suggestions that were made here. To clarify for those who have asked our daughter hadn't seen her Aunt and Uncle for nearly a year prior to her dad's passing. They didn't contact her on her birthday despite having her cell phone number. I have made the decision for now to let them know that I will be going No contact with them until my daughter is older and
    via u/Medium_Finding_2462

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christmas family drama holiday season thanksgiving mother reddit story holiday aunt dad uncle family reddit thread Reddit mom holidays parents Father
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