24-year-old coworker withholds $10/month for employee 'social fund' after fund manager refuses to show where the money is going: 'He’s lashing out because you’re about to end his gravy train'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 1, 2025 12:00 PM EST

Employee 'social funds' are always a bit suspicious. 

It's a nice idea in theory. Everyone contributes a small amount, so all of your working lives can be a little bit better. It's a negligible amount of money, and everyone leaves happy. Birthdays are celebrated, lunches are had, and happy hours are covered. But is it really that simple in practice? These kinds of unofficial funds are usually managed by one person, and they usually go unchecked. They also really range in amounts that you're asked to contribute. You hope it's a small, manageable amount, but these things have a tendency to grow. Plus, shouldn't your company bear the cost of making its employees just a little bit happier? Why should workers, who are no doubt already spread thin, have to surrender parts of their hard-earned paycheck? 

Those are the questions that came up in this story, where the man who managed one office's social fund refused to give more info about where the money was actually going. But when one of his coworkers started to question it, things looked a little suspicious. 

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  • A female employee explains something to her male coworker.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • After a few months of just playing along with the norms, one employee started to wonder where her money was going. And when she started to ask questions, things got even fishier. Some commenters thought she was overreacting, and others saw through the scam. Read on for the full story and see what other folks had to say. 

  • Am I in the wrong for refusing to cover a shared cost after my coworker wouldn't show me the break of what the money had gone towards so far?

    I (24F) recently started my first full time job after graduating. My company has an optional team social fund where each member of our small department contributes a set amount every month to cover birthday treats, team lunches, and small surprises. It sounded harmless, so I joined when my coworker Liam asked.
    via u/Super-Ad-2617
  • He manages the fund and everyone just sends him their contribution directly. Not that i suspected anything but last. month, I asked if he could give me a breakdown of what the money had gone towards so far, because I'm trying to be better about tracking my spending. My mom drilled into me that I should always know where my money is going.
    via u/Super-Ad-2617
  • He said, Yeah, I'll get it to you later. He didn't. Few days later, he didn't send anything but he reminded me that my monthly contribution was due. I asked politely for the breakdown again. No reply. I waited a few days and sent a follow up, nothing. He responds to other messages in the work group chat, but mine about the fund get ignored.
    via u/Super-Ad-2617
  • Last week he came to my desk and said, Hey, you still haven't sent your part for the fund this month. I told him I'd be happy to once I got the breakdown I'd asked for, nothing complicated, just a list of what's been purchased with everyone's contributions.
    via u/Super-Ad-2617
  • His whole demeanor shifted. He sighed loudly and said, Nobody else needs this level of detail. It's supposed to be casual. You're making it weird. I told him it wasn't personal, it's just my budget and my comfort. He walked away mid sentence.
    via u/Super-Ad-2617
  • Now a couple coworkers have hinted that I'm overthinking everything and making extra work for Liam. One even said I was being stingy for not just paying like everyone else. I'm starting to feel guilty, but it also seems like a basic thing to ask when I'm handing over money every month.
    via u/Super-Ad-2617
  • AITA for refusing to contribute again until he shows me what the fund is actually being spent on?
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  • A woman shares something with a male coworker at a desk.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters had varying opinions on this story.

    ScarlettsLetters • 2d ago . NTA. Liam's embezzling or at the least, mismanaging the fund. He's lashing out because you're about to end his gravy train.
    via u/ScarlettsLetters
  • Professional_Cop... . 2d ago HARD NTA If it was an innocent situation like "oh. Ive never really tracked it, I'm sorry, if you don't want to participate this month that's okay" or, "oh i never thought to track it closely But i probably should track it anyway, I'll start and you can see it next month" he would not have reacted that way.
    via u/Professional_Copy517
  • No one flies to unhinged nonsense unless they're trying to cover something up by deflecting/diverting attention from themselves. Except emotionally immature, entitled men. He's either embezzling, or he's an immature ass hole. Either way, not someone you should give your money to.
    via u/Professional_Copy517
  • ZookeepergameO... . 2d ago Optional social fund. Sorry just started, not in my budget right now. Optional. End of discussion. NTA, but don't ask, just say no
    via u/ZookeepergameOk1833
  • Cryanbutcher • 2d ago Something is telling me they're asking for like $5 a month from each person which is why you're not answering how much..... if that's the case, YTA. Liam's organizing, coordinating and executing, just say no to begin with.
    via u/Cryanbutcher
  • • kalixanthippe 2d ago Sorry, can't make a judgement. After several asks, OP hasn't shared the amount. It's optional, and he can certainly ask what he wishes, but there us a huge difference between a
    via u/kalixanthippe
  • $2/month abd a $20/month contribution, as well as how many contributors. Nor does he say how nice the office birthdays are - as in, will his birthday feel equal or greater than the contributions he makes or not?
    via u/kalixanthippe
  • If OP is asked for $2/month, or around $24/year, I'd consider that a spend or don't, but you can budget without knowing the full breakdown. At $10/month, or $120/year, tossup. At $20/month, or $240/year, now we are into wtf are you spending this on, and it better be gold territory.
    via u/kalixanthippe
  • Honestly, did you expect a monthly office ocassion report? Just opt out, and take your sure to come side eye gracefully.
    via u/kalixanthippe
  • Swirlyflurry 2d ago ESH He should be tracking how the money is spent. But "knowing where your money is going" doesn't mean following every penny after you've given it to someone. When you pay for
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • a meal at a restaurant, do you ask the managed for their financial records so you know how your money is spent? Do you ask your landlord for a breakdown of where your rent money goes?
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • Being financially literate and "knowing where your money is going" means knowing what you are paying. Not having little charges you're overlooking and paying without getting anything out of it. Things like that.
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • If you don't think the social fund is worth it, stop contributing. If you actually think Liam is mismanaging it, stop contributing. How that money gets spent after you've given it to him doesn't affect your budget. Hounding someone for details on how much they spend on birthday cakes and paper plates for the office in the name of "your budget" is creating tension for no reason.
    via u/Swirlyflurry
  • BarelyHoldingOn · 2d ago OP hasn't answered anyone asking how much this fund is. And I suspect the contributions are small. In our office if somebody has a birthday we do a whip round for €2 each and somebody grabs cake.
    via u/BarelyHolding0n
  • We've discussed switching to everyone just throwing in €10 to a shared pot and this gets used for all office events until it's depleted and we all just top up with €10 each again as it would save us rooting for change every time (nobody uses cash so we end up revoluting each other €2 which is a bit ridiculous
    via u/BarelyHolding0n
  • Nobody checks or cares what money gets spent on. We get a cake, sometimes there's a card, bigger events like retirements there'll be flowers and a gift. It varies and nobody is monitoring it or accusing anyone of misappropriating funds as the funds are so miniscule that's just not feasible.
    via u/BarelyHolding0n
  • OP.... You're new to working in these environments, and I think you're taking your mother's advice a bit too literally. And in doing so you're insulting a colleague who's made an effort to include you. Your other colleagues are trying to warn you that what you're
    via u/BarelyHolding0n
  • doing is coming across as quite rude and unnecessary for a small amount of money but I'm afraid Reddit is validating you as people seem to be under the impression were talking large amounts of money here...
    via u/BarelyHolding0n
  • Disastrous-Bet757 • 2d ago If he's got the time to know who hasn't paid, he's got the time to put all of the income and expenses into a spreadsheet. NTA
    via u/Disastrous-Bet757
  • ttchabz . 2d ago We do this an nobody tracks anything. If anyone objects we have made it policy to make them in charge of it if they want to track. Nobody volunteers. Even if someone skims I would say fair cause nobody wants to do the work and they are not getting paid
    via u/ttchabz

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