Business owner refuses to give sister $15k raise after she helped them more than double their profits, claims $80k is enough: 'I gave her a $3.5k Christmas bonus'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 4, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Working with family is not an easy task. There's a reason they say not to mix business and pleasure, because you're bound to run into a crossroads one day where you're going to have to decide what's more important to you, and nobody likes to be backed into a corner. Family should come first, but when you're running a business, you have to think about the bottom line. And the bottom line holds no loyalties. But you would also hate to turn into one of those greedy people who scorn everyone who got them where they are and immediately forget who is looking out for them. If your family has helped you grow your business, either directly or indirectly, it is only right that you reward them for their efforts, but this is a fine line to walk as a business owner. 

That's the situation this woman was caught in when her sister/personal assistant asked for a raise. The way the sister saw it, the business was thriving, and she wanted a share of her hard work. The way the business owner saw it, she was already overpaid. 

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  • Two sisters and coworkers stand at their desk with measuring tapes.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Some felt that the sister deserved to see the fruits of her labor, while others agreed that, for a part-time worker, she was already making enough money. So the woman had a difficult decision on her hands. Read on for the full story and see what happened. 

  • Am I being unreasonable for not paying my sister $100k?

    AITA / Am I being unreasonable for not paying my sister $100k? I'm a sole business owner, and over the last three years my company has grown much faster than expected — we netted around $2M last year.
    via u/Famous-Reserve9275
  • My sister is my only employee. I pay her $80k/year to work 3-4 days a week, mainly doing personal-assistant-type tasks. She also helps with creative ideas and weighs in on strategic decisions. Her support has definitely helped me scale by taking a lot off my plate.
    via u/Famous-Reserve9275
  • This year I gave her a $3.5k Christmas bonus and offered to increase her salary to $85k next year, but she was unhappy and said she wants at least $100k. She's been resentful about it. I personally feel $80-85k for the hours, flexibility, and type of role is already extremely generous. She doesn't want to take on more duties or hours - she wants the raise purely based on the business's growth.
    via u/Famous-Reserve9275
  • For context: I have significant business expenses (a $35k/month tax bill, $20k+ in contractor wages), I work 70+ hours a week, and I just had a baby. As the owner, I'm the one carrying all the risk, legal liability, and financial pressure.
    via u/Famous-Reserve9275
  • My sister's perspective: She's been with me for 3 years, and during that time the business grew from $600k to $2M per year. She feels she's a major contributor to that success. She also notes she doesn't receive health benefits or a pension. She believes she's basically irreplaceable because she works inside my home, knows my routines, and provides comfortability that would be hard to replicate with an external hire.
    via u/Famous-Reserve9275
  • My perspective: A business owner's profit is not the same as free cash. And salaries should be tied to the actual responsibilities of the role - not simply the business's top-line success. I feel like she's trying to pressure me into a number that doesn't match the job, and honestly it feels a bit like a gun to my head. Am I being unreasonable by not giving her the $100k?
    via u/Famous-Reserve9275

  • Commenters were torn on who to side with.

    dstluke • 7m ago Sorry but I'm kind of with sis on this one. Maybe not 100k but you're only offering an extra 5k despite the big growth you've had. Growth you wouldn't have had without her and growth you can't sustain if she leaves because no one else is
    via u/dstluke
  • Two women collaborate on something in a studio.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • going to do what she does or can do it as well. You've let her know that her time, her energy, her creativity, her loyalty mean less to you than your bottom line. YTA
    via u/dstluke
  • Sparklingwine23 . 6m ago You have to ask yourself if the extra $15k a year is worth not having a stranger in your home and bringing them up to speed. Now you could probably get a new employee to work 5 days for $85k but your decision isn't whether or not to give your sister a random 100k, its what its worth to you to replace her.
    via u/Sparklingwine23
  • Careless_Car_94... I mean, is she not . 4m ago replaceable? If she isn't, then an increase in wages is not a crazy ask, but maybe not 100K. Also, just my own opinion, doing business with family is terrible and I would never do it.
    via u/Careless_Car_9469
  • Petkee • 7m ago She's your sister and she helped build this. Pay her what she deserves.
    via u/Petkee
  • Jasilee 3m ago • NTA- You are entitled to pay her whatever you feel is fair- only you could know, but be prepared to lose her. Can you replace the value she adds with a new person at 85k? That's the only thing you need to worry about. Family will mend, business is business.
    via u/Jasilee
  • Sad_Juggernaut... • 8m ago She's ur sister. Give her whatever you can give without straining yourself. Stop being greedy.
    via u/Sad_Juggernaut_8607
  • No-Carob4909 · 7m ago I'm not from America, so I might be wrong but $100k to be a part-time PA seems insane. My American teacher friends who work insane hours and pay for their own supplies only get around $70k.
    via u/No-Carob4909
  • I'd personally tell her that if she thinks she's that valuable, she should have no problem finding another employer to pay her that while proving the same level of flexibility she enjoys now. NTA, I would never.
    via u/No-Carob4909
  • . facinationstreet 5m ago Go out into the free market and price out what someone you hire from outside would cost you, including time for training for year 1.
    via u/facinationstreet
  • Resident Health 5m ago NTA. 85k for 3-4 days a week is generous. You could find many capable people for that much. Many would. be very thankful for the job.
    via u/Resident_Health
  • Riddleboxboy 4m ago Yeah no, shes already overpaid for the hours she works, she wants 100k a year, ok 55 hours a week 5 day work weeks. Then MAYBE it'd be justifiable. Id do anything and just about everything for 85k a year part time. In my life thats life changing money.
    via u/Riddleboxboy
  • Enough_Passage... • 5m ago Eh, this is a business decision, not an asshole or not question. Sounds like she's making way more with you than she would in the "real world" But, if she really is a contributor to the business's success, would you consider giving her a chance to buy into a piece of equity ownership?
    via u/Enough_Passage7926
  • Embarrassed_Sk... • 2m ago Startup bonuses are pretty standard, based on top-line success. And it sounds like she has contributed to that top-line success. And it isn't as if she is taking no risk. I guess the question is whether she is replaceable as an employee and a sister. I don't think it is so YTA.
    via u/Embarrassed_Sky3188
  • Chaoticgood790 • 2m ago you sound like every greedy corporate owner that justifies record profits and stagnant wages. 85k but no benefits and she helped grow your business is crazy
    via u/Chaoticgood790
  • IndicationPowerf... . 2m ago No benefits so she's making 60k. Rule of thumb is give generously and it will come back. Greed is one of the deadly sins for a reason. If you really can't afford it then explain why to her.
    via u/IndicationPowerful31
  • shesthebeesknee... • 2m ago HR here- take the family part out of it. What would you pay for a different person to do the same work that she is doing? She is not wrong that no benefits or retirement is a huge liability to her, and those would likely cost you a LOT more than just paying her an extra $15,000.
    via u/shesthebeesknees1
  • prollyaporkchop • 2m ago Tell her you expect 8 hours a day 5 days a week for that kind of wage nta
    via u/prollyaporkchop
  • TKXxx630 • 1m ago 2-3 days per week for $85k??? If she works eight hours, 3 days per week, with 2 weeks off per year, that comes to 1200 work hours per year. A salary of $85k is over $70/hour.
    via u/TKXxx630
  • That is WAY more than reasonable. And as for claiming to be "irreplaceable"? Not only is no one irreplaceable, OP could probably hire someone to work 40 hrs/week for about $60-70k ($30-35/hour).
    via u/TKXxx630
  • different-take4u. 1m ago NTA, ask her where else is she going to get such a good deal on a job and see what she has to say then tell her she is welcome to go work somewhere else, anywhere else that will pay her what she thinks she is worth over what the company thinks she is worth and see what happens.
    via u/different-take4u
  • redditatwork1986 • 1m ago Based on what you've written, she might not be entirely wrong. You're falling into the very common thinking trap of hourly wages.
    via u/redditatwork1986
  • The old example is a new plumber takes 2 hours to do a job which you pay him $150 for. You don't feel great about it but it seems. "fair enough". An old, grizzled plumber comes in, does the same job in 12 minutes and charges you the same $150. You no longer feel remotely good
    via u/redditatwork1986
  • about the price and feel like you're getting ripped off. The point is that you're paying for experience, competency, and quality, not time. $100k for 3-4 days of work sounds like a really sweet gig. Maybe you think it's TOO sweet. She might have
    via u/redditatwork1986
  • a point though in that she makes your life and your company life a lot easier than you realize. So maybe you should get away from looking at it as hourly and look at it as actual worth. Let's be real, your last paragraph was just excuses.
    via u/redditatwork1986

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