Dad forces his 5 sons to play sports, gets angry when his 8-year-old prefers studying gemstones over playing baseball: 'He told me he doesn't want to play sports and started crying.'

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  • A young boy holding a baseball bat behind a fence
  • Am I a bad guy for making all my boys play a sport?

    I (42M) have 5 boys (17M), (15M), (14M), (12M), and (8M). In my household, all my boys have to play a sport. I don't care what it is, they need to pick a sport. I was raised to believe that sports are good for young men. That it takes
  • their mind off of whatever they're struggling with in the world and it keeps them healthy. All my boys ended up being football and/or baseball players. My boys are all really athletic and I'm proud of them.
  • Football player holding ball while running on field
  • Group of teenagers cheering with trophy victory and teamwork concept
  • My youngest is adamant about not playing sports. I told him it doesn't have to be football or baseball. He can pick whatever sport he wants; he just needs to pick one. He told me how sports are not fun and he doesn't want to play. I told him he doesn't have
  • a choice, and he can't just sit around the house all day on the weekends. He refuses to even find a hobby that he likes. His hobby is studying gemstones. That's cute but he needs an extracurricular.
  • I talked to one of my friends who coaches little league baseball, and I asked him if he can get my son in for the next season. He said yes. I told my wife and my son about this, and my son started crying. He told me he doesn't want to play sports and he stormed away. My wife (41F) told
  • me that I'm being toxic as hell and that our son is gonna end up putting us in a nursing home because of me. AITA?
  • Judgement_Bot_AITA Welcome to /r/AmlTheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. i make all my boys play a sport. 2. that could make me ta for not letting them do whatever they want Help keep the sub engaging! #Don't downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ ##Subreddit Announcements Follow
  • Scrooch Down YTA. He HAS a fucking hobby, you just said as much, it's just not one that's manly enough for you. Which is gross and tiny-minded. Edit: I'm a woman, but my father forced me to play sports when I was little because he wanted to coach. What he wanted to coach was baseball, but he had to settle for softball... And I HATED softball. I was terrible at it, I cried so much at the beginning of every season, before every game. To this fucking day I STILL hate softball, and I resent all the
  • singingmaiden Definitely YTA. The fact that your kids are boys does not automatically mean that sports would be good for them. There are so many other enriching activities out there and it seems like your youngest has found one of them. By all means, keep forcing your boys to play sports if you'd like at least one of them, if not all, to go no contact with you as soon as they are able.
  • Enntrails YTA - find extracurriculars that fall in line with his interests. Are there hiking groups that would allow him to study rocks/nature while still being active? You don't want your kid to resent you and your wife is right.
  • usachin NAH, I do not think you are the AH for wanting your child to be active however you are going about the wrong way, he knows his sibling play football and baseball and he does not like it, he is expressing his desires, please listen and try a different activity/sports. Since he is not into those two take the time to enroll him in different try outs or short season sports. Maybe individual sports, if once trying it out he cannot find a single thing that seems fun, then give up and find him
  • Seidhr96 Soft YTA. I agree 100,000% with you. I personally will be doing the same when I have children. I believe children need to play sports and be forced to try different sports and hobbies to find what they like. I think physicality is super important as well. All this said, I think your approach is where you are at fault. I think you should have tried to have a conversation with your son about this, your point of view, and see why exactly they are so against sports. Maybe find a common grou
  • tryolo YTA. None of my boys played sports, I have one into music, he joined marching band, jazz band, and drum line in high school, he's now a physicist. The other likes to construct things, design furniture, create art. Well adjusted good human beings is what your should be raising your kids to be, not forcing them into something they don't enjoy.
  • YTA Liu1845 Instead of making him play a competitive team sport, ask him about solo outdoor activities (not sports) he might like. Cycling, hiking, Geocaching, archery, birdwatching, astronomy, and photography are all interests that can get you out in the fresh air. The idea is to be active, using your body and mind. Not everyone is interested in team sports. Forcing him is absolutely the worst thing you can do.
  • SarkyMs How about climbing, finding a little cal climbing club. Loads of stones up hill sides.
  • Lots2say2023 Former sports parent here. Sorry, YTA. First, why only boys? The benefits for girls are well- documented. My kids played sports because they loved them, and we helped them pursue their interest in sports until they were done. The ones who didn't play gave it a try because their siblings played, but chose other interests. We NEVER forced a kid to play a sport. I encouraged them to try music. for its intellectual benefits, and they liked it. One became a serious musician because SHE l

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