Parents forbid grandparents from giving their kids Christmas gifts after years of them giving their 4-year-old daughter more than their 3-year-old son: 'She gets merch from the Disney Store, he gets Dollar Tree toys.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 5, 2025 8:00 AM EST

That's good parenting right there.

Favoritism is a dark underbelly of many families, and it's important to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand. A parent might favor one kid over the other and not even realize it until someone points it out and gives them a chance to correct their behavior. But sometimes favoritism can be so subtle that only the kid who is not favored notices. That can easily be dismissed as petty sibling jealousy, going unaddressed until the damage has already been done.

Favoritism is often illogical. It's very common for parents to favor the more delinquent child over the child who always does everything right, showering the former with attention for their bad behavior. Sometimes a parent will favor a child for their gender, something a child has no control over, and it is no indication of moral goodness. Even favoring a kid for understandable reasons, like shared interests, is still unacceptable behavior for a parent or a grandparent. Adults always think that kids won't notice if they treat their siblings differently from how they treat them, and that has never been the case. Kids are way more observant than you'd think, even when they are little. 

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  • Young girl enjoying Christmas holiday
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The grandparents in this story favor all the girl grandchildren in their family over their grandson. They get the girls elaborate, expensive gifts, while getting their grandson cheap presents from the dollar store. When their son and his wife told them they weren't allowed to give either of their kids presents because of the favoritism, they weren't pleased.

  • Am I the bad guy for not allowing my husband's parents to give my kids Christmas gifts this year?

    My husband and I (both 30s) are parents to our 4 year old daughter and our 3 year old son. Last year my husband was working on Christmas Day (he's a first responder) and I took our kids to his parents house to celebrate with the rest of the family. It was when the kids were
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • opening their gifts that I realized my husband's parents spent significantly more and bought significantly more for their granddaughters (including my daughter) than they did for their grandson.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • My son is the youngest so at first I thought maybe that was why. But thinking back they have gone above and beyond for their granddaughters first Christmas' and I'm talking several stuffed animals across different sizes, all kinds of baby toys and sensory toys for babies and toddlers plus outfits and the works. We never got that for our son.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • I mentioned this to my husband after Christmas and when he saw what our kids got he agreed our daughter got significantly more. But we didn't want to be rude about it so we said we would see if it was a pattern. We noticed it for their birthdays too. They
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • spoiled the crap out of our daughter for hers and they spoiled all their granddaughters. Not so much our son. It's not that he doesn't get a gift at all but it's strikingly different the amount of gifts and the value.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • It's like buying a kid a bunch of merch from the Disney store and spending hundreds while the other kid gets dollar tree toys and noticeably less of them.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • Assorted color alphabet cube toy lot
    via Susan Holt Simpson

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My husband brought this up to his parents and expressed our concerns about how the kids will take it. They denied doing it and said it was his/our imagination. My husband showed photos of the gift piles from them for both Christmas and birthdays. Our
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • Shoe Boxes filled with Christmas presents for children.
    via Val Vesa

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • daughters piles were far bigger and all were from popular brands. Our son's were either brandless or from brands not well known. He tried to make them see where our concern was coming from but they didn't agree and they said we can't decide how much they spend.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • We talked it out and we agreed no more gifts from them if they won't at least try to make it similar. He told his parents and they thought we were joking. But we're not. My husband's working again this Christmas so I'll be with the kids again and I told my husband's parents when they brought it up that I would not allow gifts from them. I said if
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • they can't make an effort to keep things generally fair then then they don't get to give anything. I said I did not want my kids to grow up with one feeling superior and the other feeling inferior. They think we're taking this too far and that I'm imagining things being worse than they are. AITAH?
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • jersey8894 NTA and your children will thank you coming from one of the 3 kids who grew up being treated very differently by grandparents for being adopted!
    via u/jersey8894
  • OP Eveougleigh I'm so sorry you were treated differently! I'll never understand how you can do that to a child. Protecting my son's feelings from this is important to us because sooner or later he will notice and I believe all kids do. Some might even notice younger than others.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • loricomments My grandmother did that crap, blatantly, like my brother would get $10 in a card and I would get $5. Your kids may not notice now but they will in the future. You keep protecting your kids from their favoritism, especially given their denials in the face of the evidence.
    via u/loricomments
  • OP Eveougleigh I'm so sorry. I hate how much this happens to children and so many people deny or overlook it because they view it as somewhat normal.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • toastedmarsh7 Gift giving can't be the only way they show their favoritism. Do they show him the same love they show her in nonmonetary ways?
    via u/toastedmarsh7
  • OP Eveougleigh I can't think of other ways they have shown favoritism. However it could be subtle right now but could become noticeable or more noticeable over time.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • NTA. boundaries4546 The kids will notice. The girls in the family may start to brag about their gifts vs your sons. They can give money instead.
    via u/boundaries4546
  • OP Eveougleigh This is what we could see happening and it's a very big concern of ours. Favoritism or one child constantly getting more than the other is something kids will brag about and it can breed an entitlement too.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • Direct-Cheetah-711 Info. Is the daughter from your husband's previous marriage or something or actually genetically yours?
    via u/Direct-Cheetah-711
  • OP Eveougleigh Both children are our children together.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • RealisticFace2659 Does your daughter favor the grandparents more in looks?
    via u/RealisticFace2659
  • OP Eveougleigh Our daughter looks like my twin. Our son is my husband's twin.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • bino0526 Does your husband have sisters? If so, did he get treated less than them?
    via u/bino0526
  • OP Eveougleigh He has one sister and three brothers. He never mentioned anything like that but I'll ask.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • Inside-Status8598 Yet again favoritism, NTA. I just don't understand why parents and grandparents do this, it hurts people.
    via u/Inside-Status8598
  • OP Eveougleigh I don't understand it either. But I have seen it quite often and it always makes me so sad for the kids.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • XcelQueen So have you asked your husband to reflect on his youth regarding gifts?
    via u/XcelQueen
  • OP Eveougleigh I haven't yet but I will. But he might be already reflecting on this very thing.
    via u/Eveougleigh
  • Capable-Owl5365 What about trying a compromise first? I say this because flat out banning grandparents from giving gifts to their grandchildren might cause a lot of drama and hard feelings. So if you can find a way to accomplish your goal while avoiding the extra drama, that might be what is best here. Instead of accusing the grandparents of malicious favoritism, just ask them to please go easy on the gifts this year. You can acknowledge that they obviously love spoiling their grandchildren, but
    via u/Capable-Owl5365
  • OP Eveougleigh My husband was the one who spoke to his parents. But they are of the belief they are not buying differently for the kids and they didn't want to hear about the concerns we have. I feel like trying to come up with a compromise could work if they could at least acknowledge there's a difference.
    via u/Eveougleigh

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