New dad assumes stay-at-home sister will watch his newborn while he works, she confronts him after he announces it at Thanksgiving: ‘They never even asked me!’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 6, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Everyone, say this with me: A stay-at-home parent is not required to provide free childcare to your own kids. It is a full-time job to take care of children. If you have a need for a stay-at-home parent, either do it yourself or hire a nanny!

The brother in the story below is in desperate need of this reminder, as he fully expects his sister, who is a stay-at-home parent, to take care of his baby once it's born. Can you believe this guy? He wants to maintain his job and hobbies, while his sister takes care of his baby. 

And the kicker is that he didn't even ask his sister if she's okay with that. He just assumed that since she is already a stay-at-home mom, she wouldn't mind simply adding another baby into the mix. 

When he announced this plan at Thanksgiving dinner to the rest of the family, his sister was flabbergasted. However, she did not want to make a scene, so she didn't confront her brother at dinner. Instead, she confronted him in private.

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  • To say that he is disappointed she refuses to provide him with free childcare is an understatement…

  • AITAH for getting upset because family members assumed I'd be watching their newborn?

    I am a stay at home parent. All of my children are finally in school. I now have the time to delve into my hobbies and learn some new things which i have been enjoying.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • a baby reaching out with hands forward
    via Brooke Balentine

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • During Thanksgiving I overheard some family members talking about their new bundle of joy. They were asked about child care and unbeknownst to me they said I was going to watch the child.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • They never even asked me! I looked at them and they just smiled. Like it was a privilege for me.I wasn't trying to make a scene at the holiday party so I didnt say anything just gave a look.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I do not in any way shape or form want to do that. III watch the baby here and there but not everyday.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • AITA? Edit: I 100% am having a private conversation with them. Which is what I would have wanted them to
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I can, and do stand up for myself. I was caught off guard and honestly pissed.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • Didn't want to make everyone uncomfortable at dinner. I realize I could have simply said this or that, but it wouldn't have come out of my mouth very nice.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • No, my husband didn't volunteer me. It's my sibling. UPDATE: I realized some of you were right.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I needed to tell them ASAP so they can plan actual daycare. I called him lastnight.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I calmly asked him if he really thought I would be watching his baby. He said yes because I was home all the time.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I asked him why he didnt ask me first and he said he didnt think he had to.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • It really pissed me off. I said I have plenty to do and that if there is an emergency I will be there and help, but that I wasn't going to watch the baby everyday.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • He then got pissed and said they planned for me to and now they have no idea how they will afford childcare.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • (This baby was planned i should add) He is upset because he also needs to workout for 2 hours a day after work.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • He feels now that he wont be able to and that will mess up his mental health.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • They work from 7:30am-4pm and workout for 2 hours after that. That's around 10 hours I would have this newborn.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I said so your having a baby for me to take care of so your lives dont change?
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • three family members gossiping
    via Yura Timoshenko

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • You want me to give up my free time, but you wont? We have talked about how happy I am in this moment with free time.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • He said a child is more important than your hobbies. Which totally set me the rest of the way off.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I said mine are, because I had them. Your child is more important than the gym.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • It's not up to you to decide what I do with my time, and you can workout at home.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • I said i was sorry and hung up. Now its going to be super awkward but at least they know now.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • Organized_Khaos I would have gotten into it right there, not only to say no, but to find out who volunteered me, and to correct them, as well. Who lied and said they consulted me? Because no TF they didn't, and I'm not doing it. No one asked me, and the response is no. You might want to get your names on some nursery daycare waitlists, because no.
    via Organized_Khaos
  • OP Apprehensive-Fox2655 I have confused a lot of people. Im sorry! My brother is having a baby with his new girlfriend. He himself volunteered me to watch the baby. I overheard him telling other family members I will watch their baby for them.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • One Throwaway NTA. If I've learned one thing from Reddit, it's that more scenes need to be made. Public shaming needs to be brought back.
    via 0neThr0waway
  • OP Apprehensive-Fox2655 You know, you're absolutely right.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • MizPeachy Keen Open a family group chat PRONTO. *"I overheard you announce that I would be providing childcare for your baby. You never asked me nor discussed this with me. Now that my children are grown, I have filled my free time with new hobbies and activities. Good luck in your search for childcare. I am not available."* You needn't discuss it further with anyone. You aren't available. NTA
    via MizPeachyKeen
  • shyfidelity I mean you really need to stand up for yourself when you hear things like that
    via shyfidelity
  • OP Apprehensive-Fox2655 Yea, in the moment though it caught me off guard. I also wasn't apart of his conversation. I overheard and shot him a look. There were a lot of people around and ill deal with it privately with him. Not infront of everyone to embarrass him. I wasn't about to ruin Thanksgiving for other people.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • No-Procedure8012 Curious if he ever watched your kids? If not just tell him you'll watch his kids as many times as he watched yourse
    via No-Procedure8012
  • OP Apprehensive-Fox2655 He has not! Lol I should say something like that
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • Ordinary-Audience363 How are these people related to you? Are they your husband's family because it sounds like: "My wife is at home all the time and she loves kids. I am sure she'll help out. No problem." But now that Thanksgiving is over, you might want to give them a call to give them a polite heads up that you aren't going to be babysitting. NTA
    via Ordinary-Audience363
  • OP Apprehensive-Fox2655 It's my brother. No my husband didnt volunteer me.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655
  • yuri_flowers NTA, it's wild they assumed you would be watching the child without even asking you directly and even more wild that your sibling volunteered you
    via yuri_flowers
  • OP Apprehensive-Fox2655 I know! Especially since we have had many conversations about how i love having time to do my hobbies. He is very aware that I am happily busy.
    via Apprehensive-Fox2655

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Tags

stay at home mom aita baby babysitter kids siblings babysitting aunt family sister newborn parents children Father
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