29-year-old gets job in another state, gets offended when recently promoted girlfriend refuses to move with him: 'It would set my career back years'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 10, 2026 9:00 AM EST

Nobody should have to abandon their success for the sake of their relationship.

We are all familiar with the classic Hallmark movie narrative: the high-flying businesswoman gets wooed by a lumberjack and quits her city job for romantic bliss in her rural hometown. In reality, though, not every woman is willing to abandon her career for the sake of love. There is nothing wrong with moving for a partner if it is what you want and you have a safety net in place, but it is still a risk in even the most stable of relationships. For every happily ever after, there is a messy breakup in a place that you are a stranger to.

The unfortunate truth is that any big move for the sake of one partner usually leaves the other losing out in some way. Relationships should be collaborative, and this needs to be fully taken into consideration before anyone even thinks about making such a decision. Professional concerns are one of the most common reasons why somebody might be hesitant to up sticks, but not everybody takes it seriously when the person they love is worried about their career. They can only see what they want for themselves.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • a woman and a man sit together on a couch, the man holding a tablet and talking while the woman holds her phone and looks at the tablet
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This was what one woman was concerned about after she got into a fight with her boyfriend over his plans for their future. He recently received an offer for his dream job, which also offered an increase in pay. The only issue was that it was in another state.

    Because of this, the man expected his girlfriend to move with him as he started his new job. She didn't want to, as she had recently been promoted at the company she was working for, and felt that she would have to start over professionally if she moved elsewhere.

    She suggested that they be long distance while finding an arrangement that works, but her boyfriend refused. With his mom joining in and accusing her of being selfish, she wanted to know if she was making the wrong decision.

     

  • My boyfriend is mad I won't quit my job to move with him for his "dream opportunity"

    My boyfriend of 3 years, Alex (29M), just got offered a job in another state. Its supposedly his "dream job" with a good salary increase. Heres the problem - he expects me (28F) to quit my job and move with him. I have a really good job that I love. I'm a graphic designer at a company I've been with for 5 years and I just got promoted to art director 3 months ago.
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • Alex says this is a "once in a lifetime opportunity" for him and that I should support it. I said I do support it but I don't want to quit my job. He said I can "find another design job there."
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • an empty desk chair and desk with a laptop, notebooks, a pencils, and a plant on it
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)
  • It's not that simple. I've built my reputation here. I have clients, connections, a portfolio I've developed specifically in this market. Starting over somewhere else would set my career back years.
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • I suggested long distance for a while until we figure out a plan. He said long distance "never works" and that if I really loved him I'd move with him. I asked if he'd stay here for my career and he said "that's different" because his opportunity is "better." My job apparently doesn't matter as much.
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • I feel like I'm being asked to sacrifice my career for his. His mom even called me saying I'm being "selfish" and not thinking about "our future together." Am I wrong here?
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • a man and a woman sit on a couch, the woman talking on her cell phone and the man typing on a laptop
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Own-Object-6696 No, you aren't wrong. Not at all. If he doesn't want to try long distance, you'll have to break up with him, because obviously he thinks his dreams are more important than yours.
    via Own-Object-6696
  • OP Spirited-Traffic6907 I hope it's easy as saying it.. I understand you. I've been thinking about it too. Besides, he told me if I really love him I should go with him. But why cant it be applied to me as well? If he really love me, why can't he respect my decision and just stay with me? Or at least try long distance relationship? Right?
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • Classic-Serve-8774 Your career that you've spent 5 years building and just got promoted in doesn't matter but his new job does? The audacity is real And getting his mom involved to guilt trip you is such a red flag ☑
    via Classic-Serve-8774
  • OP Spirited-Traffic6907 I feel you. I don't understand. And I'm really disappointed with her mother.. we hung out a few times and she really treats me well.
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • WhtltnsWife It's his disregard for your wants and happiness that's bothersome. Why doesn't he want you to be happy/fulfilled too? His mom stepping in is another Only you know what you want and if this is out of character for him. .
    via WhtltnsWife
  • OP Spirited-Traffic6907 I understand. I'm really confused right now. I really love him. But the idea of "why does'nt he try long distance with me? Am I not worth trying? in getting in me. I mean I understand him thing long distance wont work, but aren't our relationship worth trying?
    via Spirited-Traffic6907
  • LauraBaura And an art director in graphic design? With Al's rampant destruction, this role is even more rare. You don't just find another one. You work hard, network, and build a reputation. Starting from scratch? Yeah, I'd only move with an equal or better job offer signed in my hands.
    via LauraBaura
  • Snuggle-Wink Relationship requires compromise, and if is unwilling to even try that tells you where you stand
    via Snuggle-Wink
  • AureliaCrave He's calling it a 'dream. opportunity' because he gets everything and you give up everything. That's not compromise, that's sacrifice-on one side only. A supportive partner doesn't ask you to torch a career you've built just to prove love.
    via AureliaCrave
  • Outrageous_Fox4227 The thing about it is i agree about long distance not working out in this case. He wants to leave. She doesn't want to leave. What is long distance gonna do besides drag out the inevitable.
    via Outrageous_Fox4227

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boyfriend promotion job work relationships girlfriend moving entitled people
Scroll Down For The Next Article