Husband making $150K asks his expecting wife who hates her job if she'd become a stay-at-home mom, she feels insulted by the suggestion: 'I would never stay at home all day.

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jan 23, 2026 8:00 PM EST

He didn't ask her to be a stay-at-home mom because he wanted to clip her wings, but that is how she took the request.

It's no secret that many men have complexes about stay-at-home moms. A considerable population of weirdos consider them the ultimate freeloaders, sitting around at home all day scrolling through Instagram reels, washing a dish or two over the course of eight hours, while their hardworking husbands slave away providing in the salt mines, or wherever they imagine that their husbands are working. Another subsection of freaks believes that being a stay-at-home mom is the only noble pursuit a woman could possibly pursue, and any woman choosing to contribute to the household through her full-time career is robbing her children of the full extent of a mother's love. How could your kids possibly know that you love them if you're not willing to sacrifice yourself fully for them? 

It's not just men who have these backwards ideas of what it means to be a stay-at-home mom. These male archetypes have female equivalents: stay-at-home moms who judge working moms and vice versa. It's so easy for one group to judge another, especially when they've never walked in the other group's shoes. I'm sure that if every mom experienced both of these lifestyles for a considerable period of time, they would concede that neither is inherently nefarious. 

There's a difference between disrespecting the efforts of stay-at-home moms wholesale and feeling strongly that such a lifestyle is not the right fit for you. Some might find it insensitive to proclaim, "I am not going to sit around at home all day and never have adult conversations." They might feel it minimizes the work that stay-at-home moms do. However, frustration from a lack of adult interaction is a common downside to staying home with babies for years, and it's not a crime to feel uncomfortable with abandoning your work life. 

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  • I am tired of this nervous unhappy young woman looking at her boyfriend and telling him her feeling while being unhappy in their relationship
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The woman in this story was flabbergasted at her husband's insinuation that she become a stay-at-home mom. To him, it was a no-brainer. They are about to have a baby, and she hates her job. But staying at home was the last thing on her mind.

  • Am I the bad guy for asking my wife to be a stay-at-home mom?

    I (27M) have a wife (23F). My wife is currently pregnant. I have a degree and a decent paying job.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • By decent, I mean 150k a year. My wife is a college dropout. She works as a receptionist at a medical center as she has for the past 3 years.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • Happy physical therapist communicating with female patient at reception desk at the clinic
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My wife already does most of the jobs of a SAHM. While I'm at work, she cleans, does some of the house chores, and she cooks dinner.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • A laundry basket sitting on top of a wooden counter
    via Annie Spratt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Of course, I try to help her out, but often times it's all already done before I even get home from work.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • While we were eating dinner, she was talking about how much she hated her job. I suggested to her that maybe she can be a stay at home mom.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • She already does most of the stuff, plus she's gonna be a mother soon. She looked practically offended.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • She told me that she would never stay at home all day to be my b\\\\.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • She said I was an AH for suggesting it. AITAH? EDIT: She chooses to do most of the household chores.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • I've never forced her to do anything. Also she makes 16 an hour from her job.
    via u/piglipsbo
  • Poppy_Banks INFO: Do you have joint accounts? Would you fully fund a roth IRA for her every year for her retirement? Would you consider the income joint and not yours? Would she have full access to your income?
    via u/Poppy_Banks
  • bethafoot Aside from what everyone else has said - is she not working full time? Why does she already do the lions share of the work?
    via u/bethafoot
  • Physical_Dance_9606 Honestly a lot of women don't want their entire purpose to be raising kids and cleaning up after a husband that (even when she's working) considers pulling his weight in their shared home as "helping her"
    via u/Physical_Dance_9606
  • After Translator_223 Her reaction was certainly prickly, but what you essentially suggested is that she give up her financial independence.
    via u/After_Translator_223
  • Cleanslate2 I was a SAHM, was divorced, and had to work way past my full retirement age in a new career that I started at age 49. I just retired after a rough 19 years. Age and sex and pay discrimination all day. If there is a price to be paid, your wife will pay it. NTA but she will be worse off.
    via u/Cleanslate2
  • SecretAgentSpyder YTA (edit- Used to be no assholes here but then I read the edit) Keep in mind if she became a SAHM and in the future needs to get back into the workforce for any reason (maybe you separate, maybe you get into an accident and need to take a lower paying job, maybe you get laid off), then she's at a severe disadvantage. Its better for her to stay working. Edit- Telling us she 'chooses' to do the majority of the housework in your edit leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. Does she
    via u/SecretAgentSpyder
  • Jamaican_me_cry1023 Why is she doing most of the household labor and you "help out" when she works too? I don't blame her one bit for her response. She's already figured out you don't treat her like an equal partner and if she didn't work she'd be your mommy bang maid. If you had any regard for her as a person, rather than a maid and incubator, you'd encourage her to continue her education in a field she'd like to pursue, rather than have her give up entirely. Btw, I don't know where you live bu
    via u/Jamaican_me_cry1023
  • Live-Courage-3091 DO NOT ask her to give up her right to feed, clothed shelter herself. It causes resentment. Signed a woman matlrried 40 yrs to.same person that thought this way. What YOU earn can not replace her self esteem. She's already told you what she thinks about it, dont keep pushing this, please.
    via u/Live-Courage-3091

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stay at home mom salary job work wife expecting husband dad mom receptionist
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