Mom stands up to her daughter's preschool teacher when they start distributing her kid's backup clothes to the other students: 'I'm not OK with sharing'

A prepared mom is a good mom. 

Parents who have an extra set of clothes, snacks, water, and entertainment at their disposal at all times probably find it much easier to pivot when life throws them a curveball. Inevitably, family matters and the natural entropy of the world will collapse any parents' teetering house of cards, but with a well-stocked 'just-in-case' bag in the back, a prepared mom is ready for anything. 

However, when this preschool teacher took advantage of a preparation pack that mom sent to school with her 6-year-old, that derailed the entire backup plan. 

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  • 01
    Mom kissing her daughter when she drops her off at school.
    via Unai Huizi

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Although they were teaching the kids that ‘sharing is caring,' this mom mostly only cared about the well-being of her own kid, sending her to school with an extra pair of clothes, some pull-ups, and wipes just in case of an embarrassing accident. The teacher saw this preparedness and used it at her leisure, using the little girl's clothes for another student without asking first. Sure, the teacher made a tough choice in the moment, but when the mom found out her daughter's pants were going home with another family by watching another kid dash through the parking lot with her kid's clothes on, she was peeved. 

    Obviously, the teacher can't let the kid continue throughout the day without a change of clothes, but dipping into another kid's reserves wasn't up to them to decide. Call the parents, call the principal, but don't steal a 6-year-old's backup outfit without permission from Mom first. 

    First of all, there's no way that those bottoms are getting returned, which means Mom has to replace them herself. And even if they do come back post-wash, her daughter's school emergency pack is left temporarily unfinished. And for a prepared mom who likes to cover all of her bases, this simply would not stand. Alas, there's no simple answer when it comes to preschooler drama, but this mom wasn't willing to get stomped on for her preparedness, teaching the teacher a lesson of her own when she stood up for herself and her parenting standards. 

  • 02
    WIBTAH if I asked my daughter's preschool teacher not to put the extra clothes that I sent for her on other students?
    via feelingstruck
  • 03
    So my daughter started school last Wednesday, and the teacher asked us to send pull-ups, wipes, and a change of clothes for her. I sent quite a few pull-ups, and a brand new pack of wipes, and an outfit as requested. Only the
    via feelingstruck
  • 04
    bottoms for her outfit came back, and I saw another student from her class, wearing her shirt when I went to pick her up. Now, I don't mind if the teacher needs to use some of my daughter's pull-ups
    via feelingstruck
  • 05
    Woman picking up her daughter from school.
    via Unai Huizi

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    for the other kids, or even some of her wipes. I'll send extra of those things if needed because I understand what it's like to be the parent that can't provide that. However, when it comes to
    via feelingstruck
  • 07
    her clothes, I'm not OK with sharing. For starters, if they get sent home on a kid (like the shirt did) then there's a chance that the school won't get it back, and clothes are really expensive and I
    via feelingstruck
  • 08
    can't afford to replace them like that. It all pretty much boils down to the fact that my daughter doesn't really have that many clothes to begin with, so I can't really afford for them to get
    via feelingstruck
  • 09
    ruined, or for them not to get sent back. So, I'm just curious if it would make me the asshole if I talk to her teacher the next day that she goes to school, and tell her that I'm not comfortable with her using her clothes for other children.
    via feelingstruck
  • 10
    Mother and daughter holding hands on the way to school.
    via Unai Huzai

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Galaxy6611 NTA. Maybe there was a mixup but it should still be addressed. It would have been less awkward if you brought it up immediately but it's still a valid concern. I'd also suggest labeling them from now on just to be safe. maybe even putting them in a zip lock with their name on it as well. Personally I would be upset on either end of the spectrum loosing the clothes and having someone else's childs clothes put on my child not knowing what is made of, what detergent was used, if they are
    via Galaxy6611
  • 12
    OP feelingstruck Thank you, this is also part of my concern. I do not want them putting anybody else's clothes on my daughter. I would much rather them just call me and have me come pick her up.
    via feelingstruck
  • 13
    S-E-M INFO. Has this ever been communicated to you that the extra clothes, diapers and wipes are meant to be shared or not? I mean if it says so somewhere in the paperwork on even in an email it would make you the a. But if they just did that without telling you, you are in the right to complain about it. Also: is it possible that the other child just happens to own the same shirt as your daughter or did you confirm with the teacher that it is in fact your daughter's shirt?
    via S-E-M
  • 14
    OP feelingstruck My daughter is actually in a special-needs class, we had to have several meetings to set up her IEP during which, I asked about class expectations and sharing and things of that nature, and I was told that what I send for her would be used for her. Also no, it had to have been my daughter's shirt. Because the class size is so small, the little girl wearing the shirt and another little boy were the only other students in the room when I dropped my daughter off and I could have sw
    via feelingstruck
  • 15
    gc_Bill5049 That is so inappropriate, if the child had no clothes and the school has no back up clothes they pphone the parent. They definitely shouldn't take another child's clothes. What would happen if they gave her clothes away and she had an accident and needed them??
    via gc_Bill5049
  • 16
    NTA Vegetable Stuff 1850 I worked in childcare for 10 years and would never have put clothes from one child on a non-related (direct sibling in the same household) child. Speak to the room leader, and speak to someone above. Ask them to contact the family of the child who was wearing your daughters clothes to be returned.
    via Vegetable Stuff 1850
  • 17
    Vequihellin NTA. It's wildly inappropriate for the school to be giving away your property. If it were me, I'd be raising it with the teacher and the head of the facility. As you say, sharing the pull ups and wipes is one thing but clothes is totally another. I'm petty, too, so I might be the kind of person who sends spare clothes festooned with my child's name and a massive tag inside saying 'Property of $Child's name, if found please return to/please call XXZ'.
    via feelingstruck
  • 18
    Rare_Sugar_7927 NTA depending on how you approach it. I'd probably say to the teacher I noticed that my daughter's clothes weren't all returned in her pack, and that I think I saw her tee on another child. Ask what happened, it might have been a genuine mistake that someone grabbed the wrong pack. Basically give them a chance to explain. If they say yeah we put whatever clothes on whichever kid, then I'd be asking them not to do that.
    via Rare_Sugar_7927
  • 19
    TeenySod NTA, and honestly, I wouldn't EVER tell the school you are OK with any other stuff being used either. Speak to the principal. The parents need to supply, and if they can't or won't then the school needs to handle it. "Emergencies" happen (e.g. sick child means more changes than usual needed) and schools/nurseries themselves should be prepared - keep spare pullups, and clothes in various sizes it's not like baby/toddler clothes are in short supply at charity shops and clean and decent is
    via TeenySod
  • 20
    CrabbiestAsp NTA. They shouldn't be sharing items like that. I understand some parents might not pack enough, but what if you can only just afford what you pack. The centre needs to fix this issue within themselves, not with what is packed for other kids.
    via CrabbiestAsp
  • 21
    Koquet NTA. The teacher had no right to do that, whatever item you sent your kid with is only exclusively should be for your kid alone. That teacher needs to be talked to and if possible, go over her head and inform a higher authority about that incident, to ensure it never happens again and for proper documentation.
    via Koquet
  • 22
    mashleyd Well just go in soft because are you sure is not just that you both have the same shirt? But yeah NTA...although if the issue is need or something maybe starting a community fund or something that will help the school buy items other families might struggle with?
    via mashleyd

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