23-year-old boyfriend throws a surprise birthday party for girlfriend and forgets to include her and her friends: ‘It was four people, his best friend, a mutual friend, my roommate, and her friend I didn’t know’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jun 17, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

Why is it so hard to understand that some people don't like surprises?

It's a tale as old as time, you say you don't like surprises, and your significant other hears: 'I've spent my life secretly wishing somebody would throw me a surprise birthday party', and the rest is history; or should I say: the rest is this story.

Just to add insult to injury, some people approach gifts in a 'what I would like to receive' way instead of actually thinking about the other person. I swear I've received Xbox games for my birthday (I don't even own one, let alone play video games). But, well, let's derive our own conclusions out of this peculiar case and see if the boyfriend had good intentions in the end or not.

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  • a group of people celebrating with confetti and balloons
    via Ourwhisky Foundation

    A depiction of the surprise party about to go south

  • AIO- No one included me in my own surprise birthday party

    So for context I am a 22 year old female that just had my birthday! I HATE surprises they have never gone right for me. I also hate birthday parties because I have had three in my life and all three times no one or one
    via MooMooMode04
  • person showed up. I've learned to hate my birthday. On my actual birthday it was just me and my 23 year old boyfriend. It was very nice. But that Saturday was not. I could tell something was up and thought maybe he did plan
    via MooMooMode04
  • a successful surprise party for me and I let myself get my hopes up. Well he took me to the movies and I figured it was a distraction. The movie was a horror movie and was amazing but traumatic and I cried and lot at the end. While
    via MooMooMode04
  • we are in the car I noticed he is not driving toward my house or his. I started to get worried. He then pulled into Dave and Busters. This is where I knew it was going to be bad. We walked into to my "surprise party". It was four people,
    via MooMooMode04
  • his best friend, a mutual friend, my roommate, and her friend I didn't know. I was already hurt because three of my friends that I'm close to weren't even there. I tried to smile and have fun but they all started to talk about video
    via MooMooMode04
  • games which I done play and no one included me in the conversation. I tried to include myself but I was sitting at the other end of the table. I ended up just sitting in silence. I then asked my boyfriend about two people who were a
    via MooMooMode04
  • a woman wearing a birthday hat sitting on a couch alone
    via Vitaly Grieve

    A model representing the birthday girl wondering if the surprise party was really for her at all

  • couple I was friends with to see if they were coming and he said they were joining us later and they were sorry. It made me feel a little bit better. Then everyone was complaining they have no money and can't really afford to eat
    via MooMooMode04
  • and play games. This made me feel like a a hole. My boyfriend made sure they could pay for themselves because he didn't have enough to pay for everyone. Well long story short I paid for EVERYONE on my
    via MooMooMode04
  • birthday surprise that I didn't want. I said since I paid for food everyone can at least pay for game cards. No one did they all walked around staring at me. At this point I was done. They all wanted to go back to my boyfriends
    via MooMooMode04

  • There is a lot to unpack here, but basically, I want to start off by saying that anger can sometimes be a great fuel to jumpstart quick, determined action. When you find yourself caught up in one of those situations you didn’t ask for, none of your friends are there, and on top of that, the people actually present have a bad attitude, it is your absolute right to just get the heck out of there, drive to your favourite restaurant, or your parents' house, or wherever you want, and give yourself some grace. It’s not even necessary to be mad at your boyfriend the next day; you can give him the benefit of the doubt if you want, but you have no obligation to stay there on your darn birthday. 

  • to drink. I just said ok. My boyfriend apologized so much in the car and I'm not mad at him just hurt at everyone and stated soo many times this is why I hate surprises. To make things worse the couple never showed up and
    via MooMooMode04
  • everyone was on their phones back at the house and no one even drank really. I was so hurt and I cried myself to sleep. What makes this situation more painful is I planned a surprise party for his birthday a few months ago
    via MooMooMode04
  • because he likes surprises. All of his actual friends showed up. I was smart I held it at the house and bought pizza and cake. All they had to do was show up and it was a great night. Anyway I'm feeling sorry for myself and I know life
    via MooMooMode04
  • happy birthday cake on brown dried leaves
    via Erick Mclean

    A photo illustrating what the birthday girl should've done with her cake (throw it out the window)

  • sks. I am no longer speaking to the couple who didn't show because they really hurt me and they never even texted to say anything. So am I overreacting?
    via MooMooMode04

  • Judging by the intense apologizing, I think the boyfriend really tried to organize a good birthday party and couldn’t. Birthdays are delicate, and I used to say that if I didn’t cry during mine, it didn’t count as a birthday. I swear I did cry on all of my birthdays (being 100% honest here), just like the day I was born, lol. That said, even though one is especially sensitive that day, the girl in this story had bigger reasons to bawl. Either way, I think the friend couple who couldn’t make it weren’t at fault here, and them missing the party wouldn’t have been that meaningful if the other people invited were the girls' friends, so I think there is a bit of a blame misdirection here. All in all, this IS a horror story, and though it might be forgivable, I think she is not AT ALL overreacting.

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