35-year-old man insists on sharing authorship of a book he didn't write with his 33-year-old girlfriend: 'Were not even on the same lease yet and he wants to be on the spine of a book that took me four and a half years to write'

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jun 19, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

'With all my worldly goods I thee endow'

Marriage vows typically contain a phrase that refers back to the "what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine" idea; the way we think about that union has been ingrained in us for centuries. However, when one thinks of that, one thinks of shared belongings, goods, food, and shelter, not about claiming authorship for everything our partner has done before we were even in the picture. The woman in the story below is surprised, with good reason, by her partner's attitude towards her creation and asks us if she is at fault for the drama. Given the overt overstepping of boundaries, I'm going to preface this by saying she is not, but it's always interesting to read and analyze how and why humans sometimes act ridiculously.

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  • woman writing on white notebook near window
    via Hannah Olinger

    A picture representing the woman taking years to write the book 

  • AITA for refusing to share authorship with the man im planning to marry?

    Im 33f and ive been with my partner (35m) for just over two and a half years. Were both writers. He writes for a magazine and ive been writing novels under my own name since i was about 26. Ive published three books and
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • last summer i signed a three book deal that is the biggest moment of my professional life. The new book comes out next autumn. I built this entirely on my own. Years of weekends
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • and evenings, three rejected manuscripts before the one that sold. I had my agent and my editor before i met him. My part in this mess is that fourteen months ago we were in bed on a sunday
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • morning and he was talking about a short story idea. I said it would be amazing to maybe write something together one day when the time was right. I said it the way you say romantic stuff to someone youre falling in
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • love with. I didnt think of it as a promise. A few months later he started bringing it up properly and i fudged the response because i wasnt ready to have that conversation. I should have been clear.
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • For the last five months he has been pushing to publish my new book as a joint project. He wants his name on the cover. He has been emailing my agent suggesting interviews where we could both speak about the book. He
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • has been telling his friends. we wrote it together. None of which is true. I wrote it on my own over four and a half years. I told him i wasnt comfortable with any of that before we were
    via Eastern-Plum-1755


  • What the husband is trying to do is fascinating to me because it leaves me questioning whether he really has a problem with boundaries, and he honestly started to feel his ego dissolve and partially enmesh with hers, or he is, to put it plainly, just trying to steal the profit of her work as soon as possible. I’m inclined to choose the latter, judging by how much in a hurry he seems to be about sharing the authorship of the book.

  • married. Not because i dont believe in him as a writer. I just dont think a name goes on a book someone hasnt written before there is any legal framework to a relationship.
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • He said the fact i still call it my book proves im not all in. His sister called me and said keeping a writing career separate from the man you want to marry is what women do when theyve got one foot out the door.
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • I came off the phone and cried. I love him and i want to marry him. I just dont understand why the engagement cant come first and then we have a proper conversation about
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • his involvement going forward. Were not even on the same lease yet and he wants to be on the spine of a book that took me four and a half years to write.
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • I know i should have shut the conversation down properly instead of fudging it. Im owning that bit. AITA?
    via Eastern-Plum-1755
  • groom beside bride holding bouquet of flowers
    via Nathan Dumlao

    A photo of a married couple in representation of all the hopes and dreams we project onto the idea of marriage

  • We start to land on dangerous territory when she states that marriage is her condition for accepting his involvement in her project. I think that’s a little bit of a blind spot for her. Anyway, we get it, she loves him. The deal should be that she gets to keep what she has worked for alone for so many years, independently of her marital status. Marriage should not mean taking credit for someone else’s creation. Also, the fact that he has already started telling everyone the book was written by both of them is a major red flag. He didn’t even marry her before doing this, so if she finally formally assigns authorship to him before getting married, he might as well never marry her and limit himself to enjoying what was gifted to him. 

    Of course, I don't think she is in the wrong in this situation, and I also think that it’s time to think of love as a good reason to sacrifice everything we’ve got.  



     

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