Server gets hired to work at a fine dining restaurant without experience, she’s about to crash out from the stress of doing everything wrong: ‘My managers seem to think I'm an idiot.’

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    A server working at a restaurant, model image.
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    I applied for an innocuous- looking server position at a new restaurant at a new, small hotel in between semesters to pay the bills. No mention of fine dining, and limited service experience was needed according to the listing (double-checked the listing). I explained that I have a year of Starbucks-style barista experience, a few months at an outdoor burger restaurant where I'd take orders, run food and clear tables. Somehow I got the job.
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    Training consisted of several days of corporate monologuing about the hotel brand, then helping to unbox all the equipment and dishes that came in during the few days before service started. I got no test runs, no shadowing, no menu-tastings. We got menus and a manual a few days before opening day and talked them over for about an hour,
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    respectively. I didn't even know to expect anything else, and I seriously was wondering if I was the problem after coming home crying my last two shifts (shifts 4 and 5).
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    I just seem to mess every single thing up. But I'm so overwhelmed learning literally everything in real time that I can't think straight, and the more mistakes I make, the more stressed and overwhelmed I get, especially while skipping meals because I haven't been getting breaks.
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    I did some desperate Googling and found this subreddit. I've gotten a sense that this situation is kind of absurd. I mean, it sounds completely stupid but I had no idea there were industry standards for exactly the script and sequence of actions you absolutely have to complete in fine dining, and that's why my managers seem to think I'm an idiot for not taking extra silverware away. Like, I genuinely thought I was being nice by not
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    taking something away they might want to use later for whatever reason
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    I want to tell myself it will get easier and I would really like to hear it from others if that's the case. Or of course, if I need to back out, how do I know when?
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    I just want to add that I don't have any resentment towards my managers. I wish they hadn't brought me to the second interview, but I very much get the sense that they're in an impossible situation as well.
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    magiccitybhm Definitely sounds like they were desperate. Unfortunately, they don't realize that people want experience when they're visiting a fine dining establishment. You were honest about your experience, and they made a joice.
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    If you're not already looking for another serving job, something that is clearly not fine dining, you should start as soon as possible.
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    onomatopoeiano Ask one of the older servers to walk you through steps of service after closing one night with one or two imaginary tables. And maybe look for another job just in case. You're not stupid, though- most places specify fine dining experience if they have the expectation, or train much more extensively.
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    External_Mongoose_44 If you stay with it you will arrive at the penny drop moment and you will grow from there. You gotta walk before you can run. You are not malicious and you want to learn. Keep on learning and improving. Nobody is perfect.
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    Beneficial_Potato_85 If they aren't coming down on you for your mistakes you shouldn't either. It's how we learn.
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    Imaspartanriderunner They knew you were not experienced and they hired you. Take this as an opportunity to learn how to work under pressure, learn fast and fake being confident. Your college is not got to really prepare you for a job in the real world, college gives you the book version of a career. At the end of the day you will learn something from this experience and it just might be that you don't ever want to work in a restaurant again
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    ojitos 1013 A new place opening without having a staff tasting is the red flag here and shows they weren't prepared, either. I worked in food service from the seediest dive bars to NYC fine dining and everywhere I've been trains their staff on their food and drink menu. Okay, minus the dive bars but still!
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    Smoothdaddyk 65% of the job is just "Be pleasant". If the food the kitchen puts out is worth a d in you can cover up any mistakes with personality and charm. Fake it til you make it.
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    Agitated-Low-4375 That's some awful training! I'm shocked there wasn't at least a dry run.
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    CtotheVizza Stick and move. Pace and intensity. Most important imo: consolidate your steps anticipate guest's needs. Don't run back and forth three times for each table when you can have it all once. I'm probably not explaining this well and I apologize. It'll be easier to anticipate what your guests may need as time goes on so concentrate on less steps with more intention.
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    karzzle My boss screamed at me once for leaving salt and pepper on a table during dessert. :') Eventually I became quite good at it with many tears along the way. It's so hard, but it can be very satisfying when you deliver a near perfect service. But if it's not your thing that's okay too. :)
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    A plate from a fine restaurant, representation.

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