Promising dating app match came to an abrupt end when a 26-year-old heard one request before they even met in person: '[I'd prefer taking a month to get to know you first]'

Author image for Celeste Mello
Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Jun 23, 2026 5:45 PM EDT

Sometimes it's best to end a relationship before it begins. If you can already tell that both sides want different things, why force it? If you recognize early that you're not compatible, it can be a fair move to cut things off before anyone gets too invested.

Have you ever tried online dating apps? Although they have become one of the most common ways of meeting new people, they still can make dating feel like browsing through an endless catalogue of options. But these options are people. You're one profile among thousands, which is technically true in real life, too. But being one swipe away from everyone else and having unlimited access to matches at your fingertips can make people feel more replaceable than they really are. Like, if it doesn't work with someone, you know a thousand others are waiting on the dating app list. 

However, I have heard more dating app fails than real-life matches, but at least they are worth trying. Sometimes the conversation never really goes anywhere. You chat about superficial stuff, and you never really connect with anyone. But other times, you spend a few days texting and feel interested enough to meet in person to see if there's a real connection. Well, this is what happened to this 26-year-old guy who was really interested in getting to know an old match that had never gone anywhere before. He thought, maybe this time is different. Things were going well until he suggested seeing Toy Story 5 or doing something casual together, and she made a request that made him cut things off.

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  • A dating app notification on a smartphone, illustrating modern dating.
    via Unsplash+ (Philip Oroni)

    A dating app notification on a smartphone, illustrating modern dating, represented by a model.

  • Aitah for cutting things off with someone who requires a 1 month talking stage?

    I (m26) was talking to this girl (24) who I had matched with on a dating app for the second time. The first time we talked, it didn't really go anywhere.
    via Either_Drama5940
  • This time however she seemed more interested, and was willing to give it a real shot. I got her number, and after a couple days of texting she brought up that she was off the next couple of days (so was I).
    via Either_Drama5940
  • A man texting a potential romantic interest before meeting in person for the first time, represented by a model.
    via Unsplash+ (Yunus Tug)

    A man texting a potential romantic interest before meeting in person for the first time, represented by a model.

  • Since we were already talking about it, I asked if she wanted to "see toy story 5 or something" because even though it felt early to ask her out, I often match with girls who lose interest quickly if I don't try to plan something with them.
    via Either_Drama5940
  • She tells me that she's still getting over a day relationship with a guy who ghosted her after he got to hook up with her, which is understandably hurtful. I said that was okay and I that I wasn't trying
    via Either_Drama5940
  • to rush. A day passes and while we're on the phone with each other she said she'd prefer taking a month to get to know me first. That felt like a little much to me, as I've waited for girls to give me the
    via Either_Drama5940
  • A representation of a woman texting on her phone, saying her dating expectations and analyzing relationship compatibility.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A representation of a woman texting on her phone, saying her dating expectations and analyzing relationship compatibility.

  • time of day before and it never really went anywhere. I took a few hours to think, and I decided to tell her that it'd be a disservice to myself to wait that long just to have a chance to see if we're compatible in person. I wasn't trying to pressure or
    via Either_Drama5940
  • rush her, I would've been fine with giving it a couple weeks at least. All that said, she was disappointed by my answer... so I just removed her from my contacts and unmatched her account.
    via Either_Drama5940
  • An illustration of a young woman browsing a dating app while looking for a meaningful connection online.
    via Unsplash+ (Flure Bunny)

    An illustration of a young woman browsing a dating app while looking for a meaningful connection online.

  • Aitah? Overall I feel like I just wanted something organic and to not waste time/be set on a timer. Especially feels silly considering she let the last guy in so fast, but I didn't bring that up to her
    via Either_Drama5940

  • She was disappointed by the response, and he was disappointed by the request. I don't think this is a situation in which someone's right and someone is wrong. Both her request and his decision are valid. The thing is, they both had different expectations, different timing, and different approaches to dating. And when you don't agree on that, the healthiest decision is to walk away, because you've already seen enough to know you're looking for different things.  

  • A smartphone displaying a dating app conversation between two people discussing when to meet for a first date.
    via Unsplash+ (A Chosen Soul)

    An illustrative image of a smartphone displaying a dating app conversation between two people discussing when to meet for a first date.

  • youcancallmemando NAH. There's a lot of reasons for women to be wary of meeting up too soon, and if she's had a history of being ghosted a lot, I don't blame her for wanting to make sure the person she's talking to is actually committed.
    via youcancallmemando
  • sevenumbrellas NAH. She has her preferences and you have yours. If you're not willing to compromise with her over a couple of weeks, it seems unlikely that things would have worked out long term.
    via sevenumbrellas
  • on_that_farm I know I am older than you (46), but seeing each other in person doesn't require preparation, it's the starting point. I also think that getting ghosted s ks, but 5 days is not a relationship.
    via on_that_farm
  • sparksgirl1223 Im more worried that she needs to get over a "five day relationship" It makes sense to want to take stuff slow, but ffs, ypu can talk in person at a coffee shop too Id say NTA
    via sparksggirl1223
  • Equivalent Lemon_319 Waiting a month before having a label isn't weird. Waiting a month just to meet in person is a little weird
    via Equivalent_Lemon_319
  • Zinokk I wouldn't want to text with someone for a month before meeting them in person either. It sounds like you both communicated your needs and simply didn't match up. NTA.
    via Zinokk

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Dating-Relationships dating fails dating apps online dating
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