Groom-to-be uninvites wedding guests after they complain about the cost and inconvenience of attending a fully paid celebration: ‘If it’s that much trouble, don’t come’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jun 25, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

If attending a wedding feels like a burden, why agree to go at all?

Not because weddings are cheap or easy to attend, but because the couple in this story seemed determined to complain about absolutely everything. The bride and groom were covering the hotel, food, drinks, and even parking, yet the guests still managed to turn the invitation into a list of inconveniences. After a certain point, it's hard not to wonder whether they actually wanted to attend at all.

What caught my attention the most was that nobody was forcing them to go. If the drive felt too long, the dress code felt annoying, or the weekend sounded exhausting, they could have simply declined the invitation. That's completely normal. What feels odd is waiting until after the RSVP deadline and then sending a message explaining all the reasons why attending will be such a sacrifice.

I also think people sometimes forget how much money and planning go into hosting a wedding. The couple wasn't asking guests to spend hundreds on flights or hotels. They had already taken care of most of the major expenses. Receiving a message full of complaints after making that effort would probably make anyone question whether those guests were coming to celebrate or just to criticize the arrangements.

Honestly, if someone told me attending my wedding sounded like a burden, I would probably react the same way. Not out of anger, but because I wouldn't want anyone to feel obligated to be there. A wedding is supposed to be shared with people who are happy to celebrate with you. If someone is already counting down the minutes until they can hide in their hotel room, maybe staying home is the better option for everyone involved.

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  • Romantic bride and groom sharing a quiet moment in a countryside wedding portrait.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    Romantic bride and groom sharing a quiet moment in a countryside wedding portrait.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We are getting married in less than two months. Our RSVP-Deadline was a month ago and everyone responded our RSVP, but one couple. We really had to hound them, to get any kind of answer from them.
    via StellafromVienna
  • Yesterday they sent us message, telling us, they are free to come, but alongside the reply they sent us a long message, how cumbersome and expensive it is, to attend our wedding and how tiring the weekend for them will be and how they probably retreat to their Hotel Room for most of the day and stay for the ceremony and part of the dinner, but retreat to their room for the rest of festivities.
    via StellafromVienna
  • We were taken aback, because we are paying for everything. Food, Drinks, Parking, we are also paying for everyone's accommodation, a very nice Lakeside Hotel. All they would have to pay for would be the Gas for the 4 hour drive to the wedding and back (they have a car).
    via StellafromVienna
  • They also complained about the Dresscode (we have Black Tie), but they both own clothes that would fit the Dresscode, so they wouldn't have to buy new ones anyway. But they complained about having to wear them.
    via StellafromVienna
  • We read the message and basically told them, that if coming would be so tiresome for them, it is better not to come. We said that we aren't mad at all, if someone can't make it or doesn't feel up to it and there are no hard feelings, but basically uninvited them.
    via StellafromVienna
  • (I know it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things budget wise, but each guest costs us around 600 bucks and I didn't feel like spending 1200 bucks on people, that don't event want to be there)
    via StellafromVienna
  • They are now angry at us and refuse to speak to us and we were thinking that maybe we were a bit harsh. Were we the Ah les?
    via StellafromVienna
  • Happy engaged couple holding hands outdoors during a golden-hour engagement photoshoot.
    via Unsplash+ (via Ben White)

    Happy engaged couple holding hands outdoors during a golden-hour engagement photoshoot.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • dragon34 Aww the ungrateful people planning to use their free hotel room as a personal retreat instead of celebrating with you laid it on too thick and will have to pay for their own weekend getaway. Too bad. So sad. Nta
    via StellafromVienna
  • Profession-Unable NTA, sounds to me like they were fishing for you to pay their gas costs or something and now they are mad that it didn't work.
    via StellafromVienna
  • Adelucas NTA. Your wedding should be a time of celebration. You've got enough to do without having to waste the mental bandwidth on entitled people who complain and whine about utter insignificance. Go. Don't go. Retreat to your room for a nap. Whatever. It's not on the happy couple to validate you.
    via StellafromVienna
  • PatchEnd nta. not harsh, just not playing their game. if YOU are paying for everything, they were going to use this as a personal vaca and NOT to celebrate you. they were just telling you this before hand so that you would know why they aren't around. they wanted you to think it's a hardship, when really they wanted a free vaca.
    via StellafromVienna
  • Skittle146 I don't understand all this fuss about weddings. You either RSVP yes or no. Done. Because the date and location either work for you or they don't.
    via StellafromVienna
  • BrewDogDrinker Nta. em. They sound miserable. Updateme!
    via StellafromVienna
  • Elegant wedding invitation suite displayed on soft fabric with RSVP cards and event details.
    via Unsplash+ (via Micah & Sammie Chaffin)

    Elegant wedding invitation suite displayed on soft fabric with RSVP cards and event details.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • my1stComputerWasC64 NTA. Here we have a couple on one hand about to celebrate the biggest day of their life, and on the other, people who already complain about it in advance. It doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever that they would do that. If they're old, like I'm talking 75+, then the fact that they would maybe have to rest more than other guests would be fine, but why send a whiny disclaimer about it in advance? If they're young to middle- aged, then they're just being whiny little brats a
    via StellafromVienna
  • Wonderful_Citron_518 NTA Every day people astound me in new ways. That is the height of rudeness on their part. A simple "no we can't make it but are sorry to miss it", written in a wedding congrats card is sufficient. You've called their bluff, well done. Enjoy your day.
    via StellafromVienna
  • Coygon They wanted you to beg them to come. They wanted you to think this was such a real hardship that you'd offer something special to make up for it, like an extra-large hotel room or a paid spa visit. And tgen they'd probably still complain once they were there, either to wheedle still more out of you or just to make you feel grateful they were willing to sacrifice so much to be there. Now they're angry at you because you didn't fall for it.
    via StellafromVienna
  • hottie-von-coolie So the only think a lake house weekend was going to cost them was gas and time to celebrate the happy couple? NTA. In fact, you left it too open ended. I would have said "you are no longer invited." They do not deserve to be part of your festivities. Congratulations!
    via StellafromVienna
  • AdvancedGuide8946 absolutely NTA. your wedding will be better and less stressful without them.
    via StellafromVienna

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