Man spends four years pretending to have an obsession with a very niche hobby just to get his father-in-law's approval: 'For the first year, we sat in agonizing silence during every family gathering. I was desperate'

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jun 29, 2026 8:00 PM EDT

The things one does for love

Haven't we all done something like this in high school? Pretending to really like a band for someone to notice us, becoming a skater to belong in a group, dyeing our hair because our crush likes blondes…OK, I might have gone too personal there, but this is an example of the same type of behaviour. Instead of about a crush, it's about a father-in-law's approval. In the end, it's all the same, a never-ending search for love. I'm feeling romantic today, lol.

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  • miniature train travelling through a tiny village
    via beda marek

    A representative picture of the 'very niche hobby'

  • I need to get this off my chest because the guilt is eating me alive, and my wife is entirely oblivious.
    via king_astrophysicist

  • I have faked an obsession with a niche hobby for four years to connect with my father-in-law, and it has completely spiraled out of control

    When I first started dating my wife, her dad was incredibly intimidating. He's a stoic, quiet guy who doesn't do small talk. For the first year, we sat in
    via king_astrophysicist
  • agonizing silence during every family gathering. I was desperate for his approval.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • One day, I noticed a vintage model train set in his basement. In a moment of sheer panic to break the silence, I blurted out that I was "fascinated by historical railways" and
    via king_astrophysicist
  • had "always wanted to get into model railroading." I knew absolutely nothing about trains. I still don't care about trains. I just wanted the man to look at me without squinting.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • The Escalation What I thought would be a one-off conversation turned into a relentless, four-year snowball effect. He lit up. It was the first time I saw him smile.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • Since that fateful day, my life has been hijacked by locomotives. Here is a brief timeline of how deep in the hole I am:
    via king_astrophysicist
  • Year 1: He buys me a $200 starter kit for Christmas. I have to set it up in our spare room and send him update photos.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • Year 2: We start attending regional train expos together. I learn the difference between O scale and scale to survive conversations.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • a couple of figurines coming out of a miniature train
    via Robert Schwarz

    An abstract representation of the son and father inlaw enjoying the niche hobby

  • I’m surprised the son-in-law didn’t end up liking the hobby he got into to gain his father-in-law’s acceptance. I mean, I started playing the saxophone once because of a crush, and I ended up discovering music was a passion of mine. I happened to like this guy precisely because we matched on that. I understand bonding with your partner’s family is different from a high school crush situation. He has spent so many years pursuing the hobby; it’s sad he hasn’t yet found anything pleasurable about it.

  • Year 3: He gifts me a vintage conductor's pocket watch and tells me I am "the son he never had."
    via king_astrophysicist
  • Year 4 (Present): He just pitched a two-week, cross-country train trip for just the two of us to "chase the heritage routes."
    via king_astrophysicist
  • The Dilemma I genuinely love the guy, and our bond is legitimately strong now. But our entire relationship is built on a foundation of miniature tracks and lies.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • spend hours researching train trivia before he comes over just so I can maintain my cover.
    via king_astrophysicist
  • two men walking on stairs
    via John Moeses Bauan

    Two models representing the son and father in law


  • It would be weird if he now stated he stopped liking trains, maybe he can bring it up someday, after they have been friends for ages, and say something like ‘You know I started this hobby in the first place ‘cause I wanted you to like me, lol, and now I’ve grown to love it’. I mean, what’s not to love about it, right? You can always find a particular angle to something that feels attractive to you. I loved the researching train trivia part, lol. Also, he could try slowly displacing the friendship off the train tracks and bringing the father-in-law to some other common ground. Now that they have a stronger bond, maybe that will go well!

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