36-Year-Old Stepbrother Asks 21-Year-Old Unemployed College Student Stepsister to Lend Him Money to Support His Unemployed Wife And Kid

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 15, 2026 8:30 PM EDT

He should be able to support himself at his big age. 

There are a lot of people out there who can't get a job, no matter how desperately they try. They are constantly searching for any position to put bread on the table, but for whatever reason, nothing is coming through. They might be overqualified for the most entry-level work available, and the companies in their field aren't hiring because of the economy. They may have always gotten work through friends and family and have no idea how to format a resume or conduct a typical job search. They might have been at the same company for 40 years, and everywhere they apply is discriminating against them for being too old. Whatever the case may be, they are putting in a good, honest effort to get a new job, but for some reason are falling short, not because of a lack of willingness to work. 

On the other hand, there is the extreme of someone who will do anything to avoid working. They will live off their parents, their friends, the government, or their romantic partners for as long as possible, so that they don't have to put on their big-boy pants every morning and go to work. They have no pride in being responsible for their own destiny. They can't be honest with themselves about why they are so dependent on everyone else to take care of them. They will make up reasons why they can't work, even though they are a load of nonsense. It doesn't matter if their parents or partner has enabled them for years. Eventually, they need to step up and take care of themselves for a change. The stepbrother in this story is one of those people, and he's trying to get money from his stepsister, who is 15 years his junior. 

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  • 36-year-old stepbrother, who refuses to work more to support his wife and kids, and relies on family members to pay his bills.
    via Andrew Power

    36-year-old stepbrother, who refuses to work more to support his wife and kids, and relies on family members to pay his bills.

    The photo does not depict the real man in this story. The man in this photo is a model. 

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to give money to my stepbrother?

    I am a third-year university student, F21. I don't currently work anywhere since I quit my job about 6 months ago to look after my dad, who suffered a serious injury at work. My parents insisted that
    via u/ayifos_mepsina
  • I live in their house while studying at uni, and after quitting my job I went back to taking money from my dad. He still goes to work, but he needs to be cared for at home.
    via u/ayifos_mepsina
  • I have a stepbrother who is 15 years older than me. He's married and has a kid. He does work, but his job doesn't pay well because it's hard for him to find a job due to his undiagnosed au sm. My sister-in-law hasn't worked since my nephew was born 6 years ago, so it's obvious that
    via u/ayifos_mepsina
  • his salary isn't enough for their family. For as long as I can remember, he's always come to our house asking our dad for money, and every time, our dad was angry about it.
    via u/ayifos_mepsina
  • Then he started asking me to "lend him" some, and he never paid it back. It first happened when I was still working, so I was okay with it because he didn't ask for much.
    via u/ayifos_mepsina
  • For the last month, he's already asked about three times, and every time asked to keep it a secret from our dad. The amount of money my dad gives me monthly is less than I used to earn at work, so I'm partially living off my savings.
    via u/ayifos_mepsina
  • I've also been trying to save up because by the end of this month, I'm going on a trip with my girlfriends, so I just can't keep giving him money.
    via u/ayifos_mepsina
  • ExtremeAttorney9365 NTA it's your money, you don't have to give it to your stepbrother if you don't want to.
    via u/ExtremeAttorney9365
  • cloudy postcard71 100% it is will how quickly people feel entitled to someone else hard earned cash just because of a family label setting firm boundaries around money is so necessary and OP shouldn't be guilt tripped for it
    via u/cloudy_postcard71
  • Owl25 NTA just say no, he want to keep a secret from your dad for a reason
    via u/Owl25
  • RudyMama0212 NTA. I agree there's a reason he doesn't want dad to know. Don't give him a dime! His wife can go get a job and help support their family. It's not your responsibility to support his family.
    via u/RudyMama0212
  • GreenUnderstanding39 Turn around and start asking him for money. That should shut him up real quick. The amount of money my dad gives me monthly is less than I used to earn at work, so I'm partially living off my savings. Just repeat this minus the savings part.
    via u/GreenUnderstanding39
  • vabirder Don't tell him ANYTHING about your finances, good or bad. Just say no. You cannot help because you are the unpaid caregiver to your father (his stepfather?) Change the locks to the house if he has a key.
    via u/vabirder
  • Mytweezer NTA. He needs a plan that doesn't involve you.
    via u/Mytweezer
  • III TemperedOld Woman NTA. Your step-brother is one. He is asking for money from a university student earning even less than usual because you are taking care of your dad, and making up the difference from your savings. In spite of the fact that he is older and on his own and has his own job and his wife, in theory, could work now that their child is school age. He has also taken money from you in the past that he has never repaid. He has also asked your dad so often that it ticks your dad off.
    via u/IIITemperedOldWoman

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stepbrother dad stepdad stepsister money unemployed college student leech
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