"I Didn't Personally Sign the Constitution, So it Does Not Apply to Me": Lawyer On TikTok Reads Iconic Court Transcripts and is Going Viral

A 27-year-old lawyer is going insanely viral on TikTok right now, simply for finding the most absurd court transcripts and reading them in a vocal fry. She goes by @rebmnasel and each video is insanely entertaining—she's already posted 19 parts to the series on her TikTok and she's gained over 600k followers. 

Law school is notoriously difficult and many will graduate, but still not even pass the Bar exam. This TikToker made it all the way and is a full-time serious lawyer. However, she's also been able to tie another passion together with her law degree and that's comedy. Her series of reading “iconic” transcripts is peak comedy and gaining an audience that goes beyond fellow people of law. Some of the things people say are just absolutely absurd. 

The TikToker is going viral and also uses her platform to answer questions people may have about being a lawyer and also to perpetuate feminism within the field. As a female lawyer she is constantly advocating for equal pay and equal treatment—calling out anyone who tells her she doesn't “look” like a lawyer. 

But truly, her TikTok series of reading the ridiculous transcripts is the most viral-worthy comedy series so far to come from this silly clock app. Just check them out for yourself with all 19 videos below. 

Part 1

Attorney: “What gear were you in at the moment of impact?” Witness: “Gucci sweats and Reeboks.”

Part 2

Attorney: “So the date of conception (of the baby) was Aug. 8?” Witness: “Yes." Attorney: “What were you doing at that time?” Witness: “Getting laid.”

Part 3 

Attorney: “Are you sexually active?” Witness: “No, I just lie there.”

Part 4

Counsel: “Are you a witness, victim, or defendant?” Man: “I'm the guy who did it.”

Part 5

The Court: “You have a constitutional right to be a dumbass.”

Part 6 

Q: “Did she appear to be in any pain?” A: “She's so ugly it looks like she hurts all the time.”

Part 7 

Judge: “This is a trial which, no doubt, would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar.”

Part 8

Judge: "Well, we can't fix stupid, but we can give it a court date."

Part 9

Lawyer: “As you know, judge, my client has his medial marijuana card.” Judge: “Unfortunately, that doesn't cover cocaine.”

Part 10

Defendant: “I make a decent living selling drugs, I don't need to steal a Mountain Dew.”

Part 11

Defendant to Judge: “Suck my d**k” Judge: “Motion denied.”

Part 12

Lawyer: "My client's rap sheet looks like a CVS receipt."

Part 13

Defendant: “It wasn't that big of a deal, I just shot her in the leg. It's not like she was going to die.”

Part 14

Attorney: “If you'd like me to look up strip club laws, I'd be happy to.”

Part 15

Judge: “The parties are advised to chill.”

Part 16

Attorney: “When you use a friend's urine in an attempt to pass a drug screen, drug test your friend first.”

Part 17

Juror: “I'll believe corporations are ‘people’ as soon as Texas executes one.”

Part 18

Defendant: “Yeah, Judge, I got charge with a felony something. I plead out to a whatever.”

Part 19

"Notice: To F**k The Court and Everything It Stands For"