Firm Cake with Inexplicably "Homophobic" Fondant has a Dramatic Saga and Goes Viral on TikTok

Epic sagas include stories like The Odyssey,  Lord of the Rings, or Moby Dick. Now, TikTok is adding another story to the dramatic journey list and that's the story of the Firm Cake. 

This cake might appear like your usual grocery store angel food cake with a blank slate for any sort of generic “Happy Birthday” or “Congrats” to be written in icing along the top. The flavors might be basic and for the ingredients used, it was probably a tad overpriced. But little did TikToker @kozatron_ know, this cake was destined for bigger things. 

“I like a F I R M cake”

Like, many epic stories, this cake starts from humble beginnings. It all started when a group of friends bought it almost as a lark. The vanilla flavored dessert looked like many others in the bakery section of whatever chain grocery store it was in. The rectangular sweet didn't even get the privilege of getting some sentimental inscription in icing on top of it. As it traveled to its new destination, it had no idea what was in store for it. 

When the cake was opened up to the group of friends ready to enjoy a sweet snack, it wasn't the basic cake flavors that got the group excited, but the feel of this cake. With the style of a car's salesman, a TikToker slapped this cake like a used Toyota. What was to happen afterwards changed the life of this cake forever. 

“Eating” the firm cake

“I like me a firm cake,” the TikToker said between slaps of the cake and laughter with friends. Though the cake was getting hit, he felt no pain and there was no damage. When the TikTokers attempted to cut into Firm Cake, they had to heat up the knife first. He truly was a very firm cake. Because of this he became a viral TikTok star over night, the Internet went wild. The firm cake quickly become a sensation, but with fame always comes sorrow. 

R.I.P. Firm Cake

One viewer was quick to judge the firm cake's fondant. “The fondant is homophobic,” they commented. “How tho?” one firm cake fan asked. “I don't know, it just makes sense,” they responded. “Like a gut feeling, I feel like if that fondant was alive it would call me a slur or something.”

And with that the fame of Firm Cake was tainted forever, thrusting the popular dessert down a spiral of depression. There was no coming back from this. Firm Cake had nowhere else to turn other than to fling itself to the ground. Though the TikToker's friends say they swear they "meant to catch” the firm cake, it was obvious what truly happened. And with that, the tragic saga of Firm Cake quickly came to an end.