10 Times Funny Parents Brought Their Best Jokes To Twitter

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mattstaff
Jun 26, 2018 12:00 PM EDT

Youth is alive and well in these funny parents' hearts. 

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  • 01
    Product - dadpression @Dadpression Follow Starting to think my kid's dinosaur yearns for something more.
    via Twitter
  • 02
    Text - Tim Follow @Playing Dad My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She's now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don't negotiate with terrorists
    via Twitter
  • 03
    Text - Josh Follow @iwearaonesie watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college
    via Twitter
  • 04
    Text - Ryan Reynolds Follow @VancityReynolds Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
    via Twitter
  • 05
    Text - Boyd's BackyardTM @TheBoydP Follow Spoiler alert: Kids are the most expensive free thing you'll ever have.
    via Twitter
  • 06
    Text - tragic ally @TragicAllyHere Follow My son was crying and asked, "why doesn't the dog have to wear pants?" And it's like, I don't even know. So now I'm putting pants on a dog
    via Twitter
  • 07
    Text - JennyPentland @JennyPentland Follow I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, "I'm NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I've been whispering. Now I'm free!"
    via Twitter
  • 08
    Text - Simon Holland Follow @simoncholland like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is
    via Twitter
  • 09
    Text - James Breakwell Follow @XplodingUnicorn Me: Harry Potter can use magic to fix his glasses 6-year-old: Why doesn't he use magic to fix his eyes? Me: "questions everything I know*
    via Twitter
  • 10
    Text - MyMomologue Follow @MyMomologue What I thought I would say as a parent: "You are going to change the world." What I say as a parent: "Stop licking the window."
    via Twitter

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Tags

humor twitter parenting ridiculous funny
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