Selects a fruit out of thousands at the store. Gets Salmonella.

35+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (June 1, 2024) 1

Dad hires a 16-year-old babysitter to work overnight, gets cross when she doesn't wake up to tend to 9-month-old crying baby: 'Maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she's awake' 2

27 Hilarious Construction Worker Memes to Brighten Up Your 4am Weekend Wake-up Call (June 1, 2024) 3

‘You are my only hope’: Man gets big bonus from his job, only for financially reckless brother to demand he use money to buy him a house 4

Childless 22-year-old criticizes brother for raising 'iPad kids,' claims he's better at taking care of them after 12 hours of babysitting: '[They were] very calm children, as opposed to the brats they are when they're with me' 5

28 Introvert Memes for Grateful Loners Happy to Stay in Their Lane (May 31, 2024) 6

28 Introvert Memes for Grateful Loners Happy to Stay in Their Lane (May 31, 2024) 1

39 Memes to Spin You Right Round Like a Record 2

'This guy is clearly a time traveler': A surprising collection of photos that prove time isn't real 3

35+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (June 1, 2024) 4

30+ Memes That Are Just In Season 5

25 Warm Weather Memes for Unsticking Your Thighs From Plastic Chairs 6