Forty-Nine Memes & Tweets To Take The Edge Off

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    Hair - l'd like to speak to Jeff Bezos about this amazonkaren "Karen, leave a scathing Yelp review." adam.the.creator cove
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    Red carpet - STUAD CAARA Me, still trying to process February @tank.sinatra June
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    Text - Me getting my own security questions wrong - I don't know sh** about f***. adam.the.creator
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    Text - Participation Trophy Wife Y @TrophyWifeDayna My son gets m&ms every time he pees on the potty. So now, he squeezes a little out, shows me, gets his prize, waits 3 min, and repeats. Little evil oversugared genius. 6:22 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Aliens watching this season of 'Earth' like : DOOT DOOLA DOOT Doo. NARDWU THE HUM SERVIET GosLIN A JUI 17TH AV HAYISTYS ALL ALL AGES NE Minet
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    Nose - O Waitress 8 Bisexual O 16 miles away As you can see it did hurt when I fell from heaven
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    Text - Sooz @CruisinSoozan I believe in peace, sunshine, dogs with snaggletoofs, stopping to smell the roses, and now - Crock Pot liners. 3:37 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Stardust + @GhostLibraries Fall in love with someone who makes you look at life the way poets look at sunsets. 4:10 PM · 5/29/20 · TweetDeck
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    Cat - Henlo - my name is Annie bear and l'm selling icecreams and even a milkshake, would you like to buy anything? ICE CREAM
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    Product - Gamers Then: Doritos CALL-DUTY. MODERN WARFARE Nacho Cheese Gamers Now: Dorites CALL-DUTY ПАСНО CHEESE MODERN WARFARE. MABTERED
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    Outerwear - BVODM wanna chat? 22:1: This one sparks joy. wanna call? 22:11 This one does not spark joy.
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    Text - 10:29 SSO Today 9:41 PM Hi, thanks you for choosing Stephen today. This is an automated message scheduling your dick appointment at 11pm on Sun 31/05. To confirm your appointment, respond YES. For today's pick-up line, respond CONVINCE ME. To cancel your appointment, respond WRONG HOLE. Convince me Are you the projected spread of Corona Virus? Because your curves are anything but flat. To confirm your appointment, respond YES. To cancel your appointment, respond WRONG HOLE. For a new pick
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    Hair - Congratulations to the astronauts who left earth yesterday. Good choice.
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    Facial expression - Everyone out here talking about how the Queen is evading death, but no one is talking about Jimmy Carter Rosalynn Work Project USA TODAY Car
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    Sky - > Apple •.. | 11 hrs · O So y'all got unbreakable glass in the store but my shatters if I think too hard phone
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    Human - States: *loosen restrictions * Реople:
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    Product - Elon: So you guys almost ready for takeoff? :) t complete the updates Working on updates 2% Don't tum off your PC This will take a while. ndoing changes rn off your computer Your Windows Update faled. But don't worry. can help. Uh Sir, we might be a moment...
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    Facial expression - The smoke detector when there's an actual fire @THERREADTHEVES The smoke detector when I light a candle The smoke detector when l'm cooking
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    Product - If Head & Shoulders was a person head& shoulders classic clean classique
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    Presentation - beth @bethbourdon if we only keep one thing from this pandemic, i hope it's priests with water pistols
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    Text - Aunt Carol takes family pictures VERY seriously @tank.sinatra
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    Facial expression - History teacher in 2073: Kids open your textbooks to Chapter 5, we're going to learn about the year 2020 @tank.sinatra
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    Facial expression - When you realize we might actually be able to escape this planet @tank.sinatra
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    Facial expression - Me: *wins the lottery* That kid who let me borrow his scissors once back in kindergarten: we' ve known each other, for so long.
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    Text - Space X Astronauts O @SpaceX From where we are, it looks like you're all in this together and you better figure out how to love each other @tank.sinatra 5/31/20, 4:54 PM
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    Text - 1:42 Camila YOU MATCHED WITH CAMILA ON 6/1/20 For most of my life, I did not know the difference between "affect" and "effect" Today 1:20 AM okay I still don't know Today 1:35 AM I don't blame you. Let me explain. If you were to tell me your favorite kind of food, that would have an "affect" on the options that I would think of. If I then asked if you wanted to get something to eat this week, and you said yes, then it would be an "effect" of this conversation. LMAO0O I really appreciate t
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    Text - The Library Owl O @SketchesbyBoze it amazes me that people still say they want a "fairy-tale marriage" when most fairy-tale marriages end with the lady getting angry and returning to the sea from whence she came. 1:55 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter Web App
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    Text - Macho Man Andy Savage @The_Andy_Brown During the pandemic shutdown I took out some shelving from our basement. Today I noticed one of the old 2x4s had stamping and some math scrawled on it. It was from a crate of Number 1 Selected Cheddar Cheese, dated June 4,1942. In lieu of happy bday tweets, the 2x4 wants $ 6:12 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter Web App
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    Text - yeehaw meg @meggie_gates SOMEONE JUST HACKED THE CHICAGO POLICE SCANNER AND IS PLAYING CHOCOLATE RAIN 6:21 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Momster @my_name_here85 Oh. You're trying to slide into my DMs by calling me your angle? Thope l'm acute one. 3:48 AM · 6/1/20 · Twitter for Android
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    Adaptation - Lock Wilford @LockWilford This is why I can't get up and refill my drink 7:17 PM · 5/31/20 · Twitter for Android
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    Text - Jen_A_Palooza @Ten_Toes_7 The smell of grass and dirt that has been hit by rain is one of my favorite scents 9:07 AM · 5/29/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Maddie McGarvey @maddiemcgarvey Hand sanitizer duct taped to a pole for demonstrators OTV.COM vn Co ORAN WATERLESS HAND AMIZER of Germs Scent rs&Vitamin E 236 ml) 12:11 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - guilty mamma @guiltymamma It's your wit that'll get me naked, not your willy pic. 9:55 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal "Whales don't have a butt." One of the many quasi-scientific observations my four year old makes which I can't quite refute. 1:32 PM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Not So Delicate @not_delicate Googling 'how to make him want to divorce you' for today's morning activity 7:34 AM · 5/30/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Steph @JustStephOK You're running for US president and the last thing you said to your pet is your campaign slogan. So may I present to you: Steph 2020:I don't want your tongue in my ear.
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    Cat - Romasean Crust anch Garlic Sauce Crust He wants pizza lol YBREAD $2.89 delighted, i's pizza is better th eheat oven to 32 Off (PB) -$0.87 $11.01 Tax Delivery C Tip Total $0.14 $3.00 $5.00 Promise of D $19 15 1) Place pl Visa #2014 $19.15 Balance Due 0.00 Brandon Seidel 2464 3rd St Duyahopa Falls OH 4421 Instructions: Side door 208-7710 Order Reas EXIT SLEEP TTS
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    Leg - I sprained my ankle, so my cat decided to elevate her paws in solidarity
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    Land vehicle - Dear Santa, when I asked for a 30 year old escort that's not what I had in my mind...
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    Text - Me looking outside to see what chapter of Revelation we're doing today.
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    Text - I'm convinced that crochet and knitting are black magic Just sitting there with two magic wands, performing complex movements while chanting and cursing, looking at a spell book And then suddenly... a blanket Witchcraft!
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    Text - Ben Rosen @ben_rosen zoom needs a button that plays wrap it up music like at the oscars
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    Text - Betches betches @betchesluvthis My nighttime routine: O wash my face V take a melatonin get in bed crack my ankles for 45 mins
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    Internet meme - Woman in China sends 1,000 kg onions to ex-boyfriend to make him cry the woman GONNA MAKE YOU CRY,
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    Adaptation - Land of cuteness @landpsychology What I found at the barn this morning.. 4:12 AM · 6/1/20 · Postcron App


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