Woman Meets Boyfriend's Family, They Quiz Her Endlessly, Drama Ensues

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mattstaff
Oct 11, 2021 7:00 PM EDT

Meeting your significant other's family isn't an easy process. It can be a situation that's filled to the brim with anxiety and genuine nervous anticipation. With all of that being said, it sounds like this woman's boyfriend had quite the "extra" family dynamic going on. Basically, they put her through the ringer when it came to quizzing her on all facets of her life. So, she decided to consult the moral judges of Reddit's AITA community to determine whether or not she was in the wrong for wanting to opt out of future family gatherings. 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for telling my boyfriend I didn't want to spend time with his family after they tried to make me "prove i was good enough for him" I went to meet my boyfriend's family for the first time, and it was a weird vibe. First his brother, who is in a similar field of work, started quizzing me on my work like it was a job interview. I ended up joking that I don't talk shop unless I'm getting paid for it, after that went on for a while. He asked me kinda rudely if just got into that feild to
    via u/lovemycar66
  • 02
    Font - Next, his cousin's asked me ifI was a workaholic, like some ex of some guy in the family who was never home and never did her household chores. I said nah, l'm out of work at 5 on the dot, I care a lot about a good work life balance. Then they were saying I was such "a millennial" ... Which IDK what they meant by that. There was more but overall it felt like a job interview or a interrogation rather than a social event. It felt like I was being asked questions and set up to be judged.
    via u/lovemycar66
  • 03
    Font - I left early after a conversation with his mom who was asking me about my homemaking skills and not really liking my answer that my boyfriend is the better cook and before I met him I was eating too much takeout but he's teaching me to cook. His mom made a comment about how in her day women brought something special to the table. I kinda tried to play it off as a joke saying that I bring him beer but it really didn't land. Anyway I headed out early and he stayed that night, but as soon as
    via u/lovemycar66
  • 04
    Font - He said he felt like they were just being protective and trying to make sure he was ending up with a good partner, and they meant well. And they are like that whenever a new partner gets introduced but they warm up to people quick. That every woman in the family had been 'questioned' a bit, and bond over it later on. I said I already know l'm a catch and honestly they were disrespecting us both. Me by making judgy comments, and him by not trusting him to pick a good partner himself. I sai
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  • 05
    Art - AITA for telling my boyfriend I don't want to go to his family's holidays after they met me and it felt like they questioned my worth for hours? 1.7k 3 209 1, Share
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  • 06
    Font - NTA at all.. And how horrible you had to fend off all their questions/ hazing on your own :(I hope your partner at least had your back on some of it. Also you've now clearly stated you are uncomfortable with this kind of behaviour, so your partner should be addressing his family that this hazing is no longer acceptable. The women bond over their hazing period... brrr makes me cringe. I wouldn't go either. G Reply 4 439 ...
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  • 07
    Font - 1 Award NTA. HOWEVER while I would consider giving the family a second chance if you are serious about the partner - being able to socialise with them would make life a lot easier - do NOT go at Thanksgiving or Christmas. That is a terrible idea. His family will probably be more entrenched in their 'ways' and feeling possessive. You might well (I would!) resent wasting a holiday with them if it goes badly. Leaving early would also end up being a Big Deal. Have a way less weighted second c
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  • 08
    Font - NTA. They want to run things like a job interview, fine, but apparently they've forgotten that job interviews go both ways. You got a good look at this family culture and you don't like it. What that means for your relationship is a more complicated question, but there's nothing unreasonable about not wanting to be hazed over the holidays in the hopes of maybe someday "earning" better treatment. G Reply 4 126 3
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  • 09
    Rectangle - Trick_Few · 4h Certified Proctologist [28] NTA Wealthy doesn't equal classy. It's all so invasive, steer clear of that mess. G Reply 1 41 3 ...
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  • 10
    Font - NTA, I feel a bit of questioning a new partner is quite normal but they went way too far and were (mostly his mother) sexist G Reply 1 22 3 ...
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  • 11
    Font - ExcuisiteGerbil · 1h NTA! They didn't just set you up to be judged, but to fail. "Are you a gold digger?" "No I earn my own money" "So you're a workaholic?" "No I set boundaries to maintain a good work/life balance" "Euch! A millennial!" I doubt there was any scenario that would have been acceptable to them. O 6 Reply ↑ 12 3 ...
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  • 12
    Rectangle - ch1burashka · 3h NTA You sound hilarious, and confident. I think you can do better than him and his crazy family. G Reply
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  • 13
    Font - bite_me_losers · 1h Haze him when he gets home and say you mean well. NTA G Reply 仓29 +
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  • 14
    Rectangle - soaringseafoam · 4h NTA, but the question is, now that you know he is retrospectively OK with their behaviour (accepting he didn't know it was happening at the time), is he good enough for you? O 6 Reply ↑ 229 + ...
    via u/lovemycar66
  • 15
    Rectangle - PDK112 · 2h NTA. It is not the intent, it is how it is perceived. You are right. They were rude. They owe you an apology. O 6 Reply ...
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