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20 Jaw-Dropping Amazon Review Fails

If you're looking for a broad range of the human experience, look no further than these Amazon reviews! When you're finished, here are some top petty revenge stories from this week!

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Posted by BenWeiss
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  • 1

    #1: This Epic Saga has me morbidly curious about these sugar free Gummy Bears

    Recipe - #8 Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears 5lb Bag TIARIBU HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO HARIBO Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012 By Christine E. Torok Verified Purchase (What's this?) Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! First of
    Via u/AttitudeCorrect1015
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  • 2
    Font - BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me. Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatrovd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to ...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomi
    Via u/AttitudeCorrect1015
  • 3
    Font - But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond) as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible. AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS. I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have be
    Via u/AttitudeCorrect1015
  • 4
    Font - Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying. Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who gener
    Via u/AttitudeCorrect1015
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  • 5

    #2: People love to be aggressively unhelpful!

    Font - Eh? i.imgur.com/DLsPmg... C Question/Answer Q: Hello hope you are all well healthy and safe. has my order been dispatched yet ???? please can you help, god bless and take care. Answer this question A: Yes if you know what you are doing
    Via u/Muttywango
  • 6

    #3: This dude clearly has never heard of the phrase "Too Much Information!"

    Font - Help! My girl won't get off me !!! Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2022 My girl bought me this robe. She's a real sweet and extremely hot girl and she bought it randomly for me. She got me some sweet puma slips to go with it cuz who wants a new robe with no new slippers? She got Black on black. Good looks! The gray color change inside the hood and down the inside of the opening makes this mink a real boss. I stripped down and robed up the second it came while she threw a lo
    Via u/Netty97
  • 7
    Font - it coming. But it also works for when you need to button up quick - You know how these kids come rolling through the house like OSHA or something during the deep digging of the task at hand and you gotta make everything look safe and sound. But Before we get into any more details of all that, let's talk about the robe itself .This thing is soooooft. It's extremely warm. It's like wearing a cloud. I quit my job after only having it for 3 days because it's so comfy and also because my girl
    Via u/Netty97
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  • 8

    #4: Ok, but how did numerous people completely miss that this was a window breaker?!

    Font - Q: Will this work on delicate bikini areas? Answer this question A: This is not a razor it is a emergency window breaker in case of a automobile accident. It is used to cut seatbelt and to break a window in case you get trapped inside your vehicle. Estella 11 months ago . Helpful? 3 ⁰ A: I tried it and was disappointed the design makes it almost impossible for the blade to reach yoi skin. Once your hair reaches approximately one inch you can hold the ends and use the Resqme to cut it down
    Via u/Capnmolasses
  • 9

    #5: What compelled this person to actually give this a 5 star review?!

    Cheezburger Image 9733518592
    Via u/jankyrobot
  • 10

    #6: You ok there, ShempRee?

    Cheezburger Image 9733522688
    Via u/dirtysouthfed
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  • 11

    #7: Why did this person buy crickets is the real question?

    Cheezburger Image 9733523968
    Via u/No-Sell-3064
  • 12

    #8: You have to hand it to this person for being confident to reveal that they're an idiot!

    Cheezburger Image 9733524224
    Via u/Avenred
  • 13

    #9: Well, that's horrifying!

    Cheezburger Image 9733524480
    Via u/jimmyjack72
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  • 14

    #10: Ok, this is fully the reviewer's fault. It literally says Screen Cleaner!

    Cheezburger Image 9733531904
    Via u/MissHyperion
  • 15

    #11: This was literally for a pair of basketball shorts...

    Cheezburger Image 9733538304
    Via u/Spiffinit
  • 16

    #12: Clever but sounds like too much effort. Also why are they sharing all this information?

    Cheezburger Image 9733538816
    Via u/Soup_21001
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  • 17

    #13: This should be the premise for the next Jaws...

    Cheezburger Image 9733548288
    Via u/thememelord666
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 9733548544
    Via u/thememelord666
  • 19

    #14: Barbara, I'm not sure it's fair to blame parenting in the Digital Age on this maze book!

    Cheezburger Image 9733562624
    Via u/Kitty-Gecko
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  • 20

    #15: I'm sorry, you lost me at ancient evil spirit...

    Cheezburger Image 9733562880
    Via u/lady_guard

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