'[I] was terminated for the third time': Beloved and overworked employee gets fired for "underperforming," sparks professional dialogue on how to bounce back

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  • 01
    World - 1121131 211 iun mpany's Gr r/careerguidance Posted by u/YoungCubSaysWoof 18 hours ago Was recently terminated for the third time in my professional career. How have you reflected and bounced back following this type of set-back? Advice
  • 02
    Font - Evaluating myself after another termination and how to move forward. Last week, I was terminated from a position that I loved. It was with a non-profit helping people, and I worked with the community to get involved with the organization and the volunteers. I was quite devastated, having been there 18 months, I was well-liked (even beloved) by the community and volunteers, and really felt at home there.
  • 03
    Font - The reasons for my termination aren't bullshit; they were outlined by my supervisor and reflected on things I did and did not do. I can say that I underperformed in the role. To not completely bury myself, I voiced that I was crunched for time, as 20 - 30% of my week (10 12 hours) was spent away from the office to be a public face. This resulted in time crunches to complete reporting, emails, and planning.
  • 04
    Font - While time management and prioritization could help, I felt like it took all the time I had left (and then some) just to stay on top of the multiple group of volunteers we saw each week, every week, since 4th Quarter last year. My time crunch influenced how I acted: always feeling like I just needed to submit SOMETHING to get out of the office by 6 PM each day. From there, my choices outside the office were meant to get dopamine hits so I could feel better about myself, even just briefly.
  • 05
    Font - The goodbye from the organization was tearful; the co-workers were displeased and saddened or crying from the news. I got to choose how I wanted to depart, and I chose to chat with everyone and give them big hugs. I am not considered "persona non grata" with them, and I am still proud of the work I did with this fledgling group and the impact we have had in our community.
  • 06
    Font - That said, this is the third job (of varying types) I have been terminated from, and I want to do some self-reflection on myself so that I learn from this experience. Approaching my 40's, I don't want to simply be defensive and tell everyone to fuck off.
  • 07
    Font - Perhaps this would be best to unpack with a therapist, but I want to hear how folks bounced back, either in similar roles of if they went in a new direction. I am curious about ways to build habits that aren't based on the habits and patterns I have used since I was a child as well. Thanks for reading and the dialogue!
  • 08
    Font - Equations Apparel - 15 hr. ago Self-reflection is important. Given that this is the third time you've been terminated from a position, it sounds like you need to work on several soft skills, particularly managing upwards, managing expectations, Crucial Conversations (read the book), negotiation, and time management.
  • 09
    Font - And to nitpick, you mention time crunches to complete emails. It's important to distinguish between emails that actually accomplish something versus emails that are a substitute for work.
  • 10
    Font - Patachawa29 hr. ago Your last point is right on the money. Working in a corporate (I.e. definitely FOR profit) company has necessitated understanding the difference - putting it in such a blunt/concise way is something I wish I had heard a long time ago!!
  • 11
    Font - PizzaNEyeScream 2 hr. ago . This!! I also highly recommend a good career coach. They can help you define what you can work on and give you tools to build on these skills as well as be a good support system as you work in improving yourself.
  • 12
    Font - GGoatzie 51 min. ago Well said. To throw one more thing on this. It sounds like customer facing opportunities were your priority while management needed reports and email responses. I would place emphasis on understanding management priorities versus your own. I had a worker that did this all the time and I had to let him go. Get the priorities right.
  • 13
    Font - As for working late? I had a position where I often had to work 80 hrs weeks, skip lunch and dinner. I put myself in the hospital twice with major health issues. I just collapsed on the floor. I had to leave that job for health reasons. You need to make that call.
  • 14
    Font - nakmuay18 2 hr. ago The sad fact is that you have to play the game your managers want you to play. You make more change and accomplish more by staying in the job longer, than having a huge impact, getting canned, then everything rolls back. Priority is basic core items that management want you to do. Everything else needs to fit around that. After several years of that you might have the leverage to branch out, but you might have to sacrifice the instant impact, foe long term lasting impa
  • 15
    Font - Corn_Thief 7 min. ago Op is obviously a square peg in a round hole. This amount of friction in the process isn't going to help them soothe their pain points. They would likely benefit from a change of environment in a workplace that they fit in more naturally.
  • 16
    Font - smoke04 10 hr. ago Please trust me on this...read the book Essentialism: the disciplined pursuit of less. It sounds like you were doing a lot, just not the things that were valued by your boss. Incredible how many activities we feel are necessary but don't contribute to our core value.
  • 17
    Font - SpecialistAlarming38 13 hr. ago First let me say, I'm sorry. When you are forced away from something you enjoy it's painful. Take time to mourn that. Give yourself some space to feel your feelings toward the situation. I find it best to write this out in a place that no one will ever see it. Write the good, the bad and the ugly. I would recommend taking a few days or a few weeks to go through this process.
  • 18
    Font - Great! Now your done mourning and processing. It's time to pick yourself back up and keep going. Since this is the 3rd time it's happened, I recommend re-evaluating your skills. Make a list of things people have given you feedback on, make a list of things you enjoy doing and a list of things you don't enjoy and drain your energy.
  • 19
    Font - Create 30/60/90 day goals on how you can improve some of your skills to better align to what you enjoy. Then take your newly defined skill set and look for jobs that would bring you joy, this may be a different type of job then what you've done previously.
  • 20
    Font - Finally, therapy. You mentioned it above as well. Sometimes our work for an employer is influenced by other, deeper rooted issues. I can't recommend therapy enough for people going through any life change. Yes, you have family and friends but it's well worth the money to go to a professional who will give you an unbiased opinion. Wishing you the best of luck in this new season
  • 21
    Font - MoonRoverZero - 1 hr. ago Firstly, I want to say that I'm sorry you had to go through this. Losing a job you love can be devastating and take a toll on your mental health. It's great that you're acknowledging your feelings and giving yourself time to mourn. Writing out your thoughts and emotions can be cathartic, and I agree that it's best to do it in a private space.
  • 22
    Font - Moving forward, it's important to re- evaluate your skills and figure out what you enjoy doing. Creating goals and working towards improving your skills is a great way to align yourself with what brings you joy. As you mentioned, therapy can also be incredibly helpful in unpacking deeper issues and building healthier habits.
  • 23
    Font - It's admirable that you want to learn and grow from this experience rather than becoming defensive. It takes a lot of courage to do that, and I wish you the best of luck in finding a fulfilling career path. Remember that setbacks happen, and it's how we respond to them that defines us. Keep pushing forward and take care of yourself.

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