‘I don’t really like committing to labels’: 30 dating red flags people wish they noticed when they were younger

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jan 2, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Does anyone else wish you could sit down your younger self and talk some sense into yourself about your unfortunate dating taste? I certainly do, and if you have no regrets, congratulations. You're a unicorn individual. The rest of us will be sulking in the corner cringing at our prior mistakes and hoping to never run into ~certain~ people ever again. 

Everyone says it takes experience to know your habits (both good and bad) in dating and relationships, but if I could sit myself down and say, "Don't date that senior! They're going to put you into therapy!" I totally would in a heartbeat. Sure, there were lessons learned from living through it, but was it all worth it? Nope! Would I take the easy route if I could? Yup!

Something tells me that these folks would do the exact same thing. They shared their dating red flags via this r/AskReddit thread. Keep scrolling below for the full list and when you're done, check out this compilation of bad dating app profiles.

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  • 01
    "Stating how IN LOVE they are 24/7"
    via Felipe Callado
  • 02
    r/AskReddit. Posted by u/Yourmothersside 1 day ago What are red flags you didn't notice while dating at a younger age that you see instantly now?
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 03
    loveydove05 1 day ago . Not having a general feeling of being safe when with the person. I didn't listen to that little voice in my head when I was younger. 1.2k Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 04
    Duffelbagbro. 1 day ago The way they argue. There's a lot of things you'd put up with in a high school relationship that you shouldn't put up with in your 30's. 1.1k Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 05
    Cypriottate 1 day ago They like you and nobody else (everyone else is evil) 936 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 06
    abdoer2000 1 day ago . Fast developing relationships tend to crash and burn. ↑ 743 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 07
    -skyhigh 1 day ago More my own red flags. Like falling more for a person's potential than for who they actually are. Or falling for someone I wanna "fix" or help (ties into the first one). I still am super into the damaged ones but I keep myself from falling into the same pattern. ↑ 725 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 08
    OO TheJostler 1 day ago "I don't really like commiting to labels," "I love you, but I don't feel ready for a relationship," "We're basically dating already, why do you need the title?" You can believe whatever you want and date whatever way you want, but I'm never going to accept any of the above phrases ever again. If you can't figure out if you want to officially date me after a month, I'm not wasting my time. I don't want a permanent situationship.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 09
    Bridge-etti 1 day ago If you have to explain basic empathy with kindergarten teacher "how would that make you feel?" language every time they do something obviously hurtful run. Golden rule is supposed to come preinstalled. They will not improve. 450 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 10
    xain_the_idiot. 1 day ago Always talking about how messed up or depressed they are, looking for constant sympathy. Those are the types of people who will the life out of you and then attack you out of insecurity. 449 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 11
    Iridescent2000. 1 day ago Trying to push for marriage only one month into the relationship. That happened in two separate relationships that went on for far too long and only got way worse after that red flag. 450 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 12
    Wormverine 1 day ago Shaming what you love because it is too childish. You'll eventually slow down on anime/comics t-shirts, but taking away the joy they bring you is plain toxic. 316 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 13
    Tati_Elena 1 day ago. edited 1 day ago Always being too busy to text/call/show their face on a regular basis. Life gets busy but we all know we make time for the things that matter to us. Totally falls into the vein of "if they want to, they will" Even when I'm busy and can't be physically present, I find other ways to be available. If someone can't make themselves available to you a lot of the time it means you are low on the priority list. 304 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 14
    Fancy-Cicada1894. 1 day ago When someone rushes relationship milestones too fast!! 278 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 15
    TO Successful-Snow-562. 1 day ago Expecting me to make all the compromises. I've moved for men, entirely changing my whole life while not once having one be like "hey maybe I should be the one to relocate or we could compromise and move somewhere in the middle." Now it's non-negotiable. If I'm ever in a position where moving is necessary, either we work it out in advance as far as one of us securing a job and the move making sense or we meet in the middle and keep our jobs and family/friends equ
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 16
    illyvanilee 1 day ago That men who are 5-10 years older than you, when you are 14 tell you that you are so mature for your age, and are interested in you. 213 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 17
    _unknownluv 1 day ago Saying "I have never wanted a kid with anyone until I met you, we should have one" not even a month in. Stating how IN LOVE they are 24/7 Using their deceased family as some sort of manipulation to make you understand the love and security you now bring them since that deceased family member left. ( my ex loved to do this) ↑ 160 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 18
    Joemanji84 1 day ago Not communicating and instead expecting someone to read their mind (and if you don't it's because you don't care about them). 158 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 19
    jatna 1 day ago . If they ditched their previous significant other for a new hookup, there is a high probability that they will do the same to you someday. 154 Reply Share
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 20
    Lofe 1 day ago - Look how you SO treats kids and animals
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 21
    Frank_the_NOOB - 1 day ago Using tears and emotion to manipulate you
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 22
    New_Agent4143. 1 day ago Disrespect. Negging. Subtly pressure or manipulate me into being with them.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 23
    dearabby1 1 day ago Weaponized incompetence. I can quickly spot a man who is unwilling to do his fair share of adult tasks and who thinks that having a job should be his only contribution. In that same vein, I don't need a "but just tell me what I should be doing!" partner either. I'm not the task manager for the household.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 24
    Flashy Sleep3493. 1 day ago Love bombing. It can feel romantic and like you're special but it's really just a cover for insecurity and clinginess at best, and a narcissist at worst.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 25
    elmatador12. 1 day ago No self awareness. If you blame everything and everyone on your own situation, you are a VERY immature and quite possibly extremely toxic person. Because if I date you guess who's going to suddenly be the culprit of all of your problems now? Yeah, once I hear a woman start blaming things on their situation, I'm out.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 26
    bexaropal 1 day ago Jumping into a relationship with you with very little time between the last one and you.... Always, always a recipe for disaster. People who can't stay single are red flags
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 27
    Anskin12 23 hr. ago When they seem to enjoy making you uncomfortable. Edit: but if you decide to call them out on it it's all "just a joke".
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 28
    Aardvark-Winter. 1 day ago The ability to differentiate between a girl wanting my attention specifically, and a girl that just wants attention.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 29
    fadedtimes 1 day ago . Controlling, manipulating, non logical, behaviors. You can tell when someone wants to change you vs accepting who you are
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 30
    Automatic-Size2204. 1 day ago People who only talk about themselves and show absolutely no interest in the other person. It's because they're not interested, and are looking for attention. Who they get it from is interchangable. Don't try harder, thinking it will make them notice you, it won't. Just walk away.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 31
    samtresler 1 day ago Not being able to identify what they bring to the relationship that you value. I always thought this was selfish thinking. But now I look carefully, because eventually if someone isn't contributing, they're just taking.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**
  • 32
    SlightlySpicy4- 1 day ago Not being able to do basic by themselves, like dr appointments, laundry, cooking.
    via u/Yourmotherssideh**

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dating fails bad dates askreddit relationships red flags reddit thread online dating Reddit toxic relationship dating
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