Weekly Internet Roundup: Ad Spam on X, Kate Middleton Disappearance Rumors, and the Willy Wonka Immersive Experience

Hello. It's time to summarize a few of the internet's favorite stories of the past seven days, and it has to be said that this has been the first time in a long time that it's been a vintage week for Twitter. Is it a true renaissance, or one last burst of energy as the functionality of the former bird app continues to degrade under Elon Musk's ownership? Only time will tell. Let's get into it.

Mother Oompa

Forget the Wonka Movie, one poorly orchestrated and partially AI-generated scam in urban Scotland captured the hearts of people on social media in a way that millions of dollars of Hollywood promotion could never. The Willy Wonka Immersive Experience in Glasgow has been the talk of the overly online world recently.

Where do we start with this hilariously awful rendering of the iconic Chocolate Factory? None of its advertising material was created by a human being, leaving it with glaring typos and uncanny artwork. Everyone employed there was given a minimum of instructions and materials to do their job, handing out lukewarm, half-filled cups of lemonade in a gray warehouse dotted with comically small colorful backdrops. AI decided that part of the script should include ‘The Unknown’, a terrifying Babadook-esque creature that left children screaming after dancing from behind a mirror. All in all, it was a perfect example of a snake oil sale that had to be ridden out until the bitter end.

Particular attention has been paid to Oompa Loompa actor Kirsty Paterson, pictured both looking miserable behind her candy lab desk and gamely trying to cheer up disappointed kids with singular jelly beans. Deemed the Mother Teresa of the Wonka Experience, she and The Unknown actor Jain Edwards have taken their five minutes of fame and gifted it to the mainstream UK media circuit. The whole thing is a strong contender for viral failure of the year.

First Royal BBL Incoming

The Princess of Wales has been suspiciously quiet in recent months. After an official statement announced in mid-January that she would go into hospital for “planned abdominal surgery”, have about two weeks of recovery, then return to official duties after Easter.

Notoriously, the British Royal Family is a topic that many people can't be normal about, leading to numerous conspiracy theories cropping up about her whereabouts. The crackpots proved to be great inspiration for a deluge of memes and s***posting about the topic, ranging from the Princess secretly getting a BBL to her being reincarnated as Trisha Paytas's second baby. I thought that spot was reserved for King Charles.

18-year-old Website Still Serves Spam the Old Fashioned Way 

While Twitter has undeniably been the most entertaining it has been in a long time with the above duo of ridiculous stories, you could say it's not doing so well in other respects. For one, users can't stop noticing the deluge of spam bots, advertising links to decidedly NSFW things under the tweets of just about anybody. Also, it's difficult to scroll for more than 15 seconds without being confronted with one of the same three ads, the most notorious of which are for indie singer Julie Ragbeer and a video of a 97-year-old diner that “serves Coke the old-fashioned way”.

Certain terminally online posters have been cracking numerous jokes about these maddening occurrences, combining them with the viral moments of the week for a truly mind-bending experience. If you don't know enough about the internet to understand what's happening here, be grateful.

That's everything for now. Enjoy your weekend, and gird your loins for whatever the next few days of the internet may throw at us. Until next time!