'Wait, cheese doesn’t come from trees?': 20+ Unintentionally hilarious moments

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    What is the dumbest/funniest thing you've ever heard someone say that wasn't intended to be a joke?
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    O da +00 jordy_muhnordy My friend messed up the phrase "bawling your eyes out" and said "my sister's bawling her out" by mistake
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    an ineffable_plan I once told someone "don't let the door hit your out." Thankfully I was trying to be serious, but I also didn't intend to up that bad.
  • 04
    12345 PIZZA 6y/o: Dad, what's that movie we watched where they had a hotel for dogs? Me (no wiser at 43): Let me look it up, bud. Okay, it was, uh... Hotel for Dogs.
  • 05
    grmrsan When I was a teen, we were at some Christmas parade and the firetrucks came by with thier sirens on. Like they do in every parade ever. They scared a toddler awake, who began to cry a little bit. The Mom said something to my Mom about "suing them for emotional damage to her child".
  • 06
    Mom and I seriously thought she was making a joke, so we laughed. The woman was furious at us, and complained thst it was not funny. Mom and I were so surprised, we just laughed even harder. Its now a running joke in our family that whenever something mildly annoying but completely normal and predictable happens, that we are going to sue them for emotional damage.
  • 07
    Frequent Issue_598 A grown woman thinking Australia is living a day in the future because of the time difference ...
  • 08
    BeautifulEssay8 "You have my uninvited attention"
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    The_Special_Teacher A kindergartner sees me in my mazda miata and tells his mom outloud that I drive a clown car.
  • 10
    Embarrassed-Carob196 Some kid wrote on a "about me" thing in primary school that he was good at spelling but called it spalling
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    Nic-nic Back in the blonde joke days (are those still a thing?), I was telling my sister a joke: "If a blond and brunette jumped off a building, who would land first? The brunette, cause the blond would have to ask for directions.." But my little sister comes back with "I'd just read the signs". Bless it.
  • 12
    JakobeHolmBoy20 "Wait, cheese doesn't come from trees?"
  • 13
    _AGuyInShades "How did they train all the dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park movies?"
  • 14
    drRATM Working in medical field, the amount of distorted scientific thoughts people have is amusing but often it's just the way people say things like they hurt their "rotor cup" or have a "blowed out disc" in their back. Those 2 are really common.
  • 15
    theisntist I was trimming a guys trees and his pear tree had delicious ripe pears, so I put them in a bag for him. He said "no thanks, I never eat fruit from trees."
  • 16
    PaIngallsButSexier little redneck fella at work told me if he won the lottery he wouldn't dress all fancy because if he did people at walmart would be able to tell he was a millionaire and mob him while he was shopping
  • 17
    Sajiri My adult sister, having a tantrum and blaming everyone for her life choices. It was pointed out her brother went through the same things she did while still being just fine and not having the world against him and she responded with "Yeah well everyone only likes (brother) because he's so nice to them." Wow, fancy that, when you are nice to people they like you.
  • 18
    Fine-Idea-3242 About two weeks ago saw a middle aged gentleman talking to a teen walking down the street together. Kid turns to the guy and says, "you're not my father!" To which the man replied, "If I was you'd be much better looking!"
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    sapphireblossoms "That train has sailed." Pretty sure he meant ship, otherwise it's a statement about a very impressive (or just short-lived) locomotive.
  • 20
    HawaiianShirtsOR My son, age 6, watching a fire truck racing down the street and past our house with its lights flashing: "Uh-oh, I hope that's not for us!"
  • 21
    Speed Revolutionary29 Dated a girl very shortly and when crossing state lines she said something like " have you ever seen the lines that separate the states?" Me trying to figure out what she just said asked her to elaborate. And again she goes "you know on the map they have the spaced out lines so you can tell when you cross a state" I jokingly reply "oh yeah you just have to get out and really look but they're there"
  • 22
    A few days later we are coming back over the state line and she says asks "can we pull over and look for those lines please? Id really like to see them." I look back at her and say "I thought you were kidding. There are not any form of lines that separate the states. I was kidding when you asked because I thought you weren't serious" She was mad the rest of the 45 min drive home because I led her on. That relationship did not last very long.
  • 23
    bratikzs "Alaska is an island, you can't drive there"
  • 24
    JuliaHussien Overheard a guy at the bar telling his friend to start a tab instead of paying for each drink separately because that way he'd save money by only paying the tax once instead of on each drink...he then told the guy about his job in finance
  • 25
    funkcatbrown While boiling water my 79 year old family friend told me "to be careful or you're going to overcook your water." It wasn't even boiling yet. Lol
  • 26
    ketchuptheclown I told my 6 year old cousin that I went to Catholic school and he said, "You speak Catholic?!?!?"
  • 27
    muggledave "I thought our Governor was Mayor Bloomberg?"
  • 28
    HawaiianShirtsOR "Don't take life for granite." I checked. She meant granite, not granted, because "then it wouldn't make sense."
  • 29
    Pink-Squirrel71 I once had a lady very seriously tell me that she dislikes daylight saving because the extra hour of daylight has faded her curtains.
  • 30
    Carmine_Hearts Several years ago, my (then)friends, Tammy & Lauren (names changed) and I were in Vegas. Tammy decided to get us tickets to the Titanic exhibit where they showcased artifacts that were found on the ship, as well as facts. At the end, there was a huge wall that had the names of all the passengers with little symbols next to them saying if they had survived or died on the shift. I noticed Lauren kept
  • 31
    going down the length of the wall and squinting at it a few times before following me and Tammy outside, looking disappointed. We asked her what was wrong, if she didn't like the exhibit, etc. And she said, "I was really hoping to see Jack's and Rose's name up there, since we didn't see anything about them in the exhibit." She was legit shocked that there was no Jack and Rose, and that they were, in fact, completely fictional.
  • 32
    BrewboyEd That Georgia congressman who was concerned Guam might 'tip over' if it was over developed or overpopulated
  • 33
    Tedious_research That guy on the news complaining about parking meters... "It says $1 for one hour, but when you put in a quarter it only gives you 15 minutes and that just doesn't add up." Or let's not forget about the people that thought A&W's 1/3 lb burger was a ripoff vs McDonald's quarter pounder because 3 is less than 4. It was a larger burger for less money and the only reason it failed is because people are stupid.
  • 34
    dead--space In high school, a girl asked why we can't save trees by just making hundreds of photocopies of a blank sheet of paper, her logic being that the Xerox machine created its own paper every time you used it.
  • 35
    a 28 United-Plum1671 Was watching Les Miserable at the theatre and a woman behind me got up and left not even half way into it because she was shocked that it was "such a sad and depressing" movie.
  • 36
    KSmegal My family took a trip when personal GPSs first came out. We were riding along when my mom said, "So a lady just sits in a cubicle all day and tells us the directions? That's a pretty boring job."
  • 37
    jocall56 I once offered my college roommate some instant hot chocolate. I waked over with a packet and a kettle of hot water, I asked if he had a mug which he did and held out; then he asked me: "what do I do with it?"
  • 38
    My daughter when she was 6, (she's 14 now) went to a school right behind our apartment. We walked over with a little girl from our building and her mom every morning. That morning the girls decided they were going to foot race. My daughter ended up winning the race, and her friend who was very clearly annoyed says, "oh well, first is the worst and second is the best anyway." My daughter looked at her with a very confused look on her face and said, "so? I'm still first."
  • 39
    MrJoelCairo Saying "I could care less" when it should be "I couldn't care less". I'm looking at you America.
  • 40
    Itsgotbloodonit Finch Her "How did you get this job?" Me "Nepotism" Her "Is that an agency?" Me "Kinda"
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    Zeph4 9th grade, World Geography class. Someone asked the teacher if we (as in, America) owned the moon.
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    Chalupa_Batm4n My friend answering negative zero to a math problem in 7th grade...
  • 43
    Here_4_all_the_tea My 9th grade home ex teacher asked why we thought blonde brownies were called blonde? I eagerly raised my hand and shouted out "because they are easy!" Naive me had meant, the stereotype that blondes were dumb, and this recipe was so easy. My blonde teacher did not appreciate.
  • 44
    InstantElla Am currently 6 months pregnant. I was making rice the other day and my 10 year old asked why it looked like I was only making a little. I said it gets expands when it cooks. He responds with "oh, it gets bigger, like you cause of baby Benji" then he looks at me for a second and goes "BOOM roasted"
  • 45
    Real-Purple-6460 "The sun isn't a star, silly."
  • 46
    SensitiveComb7219 My brother was talking about the guy who was in A Knights Tale and Dark Knight.... Called him Keith Ledger... Really really tickled me
  • 47
    Brainwater4200 "Why can't the image on my business card be animated like the one i have on my website?" They were serious, and couldn't grasp why it wasn't possible.
  • 48
    ΑΠΟΥ tantricdragon13 Dude sincerely asked, "what kind of bird is Toucan Sam?"
  • 49
    justtobecontrary This closet stays warm because we have all these jackets hanging in here.
  • 50
    Cymorg0001 "I wouldn't have been called for jury duty unless they're guilty".

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