Gen X couple grapples with a hard decision after finding out their broke parents planned a lavish vacation: ‘Congratulations, you are now their retirement plan’

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 7, 2024 12:00 PM EST

When a fully-fledged adult flops financially, they can usually move back in with their parents to bounce back. There's that memorable stigma of the 'wanton failure' moving back in with mom and dad that's been ingrained in our heads since the dawn of rom-com rock bottom movie intro. But none of us are ever prepared for the moment that our parents move back in with the kids. 

From here, there's nowhere to go but up.

This flip-flop of responsibility is not unheard of, but for elderly parents to move back in with their kiddos because of financial failures–now that's a more complicated story. The Gen X couple in our next story unfortunately has been in the awkward position of inviting their parents in as semi-permanent guests after they entirely blew their retirement savings. Recently they've been faced with some tough decisions to help their frivolous parental figures face the facts on their finances… or else. 

Scroll to read all of the family feuding details of this insane story where the hands of the moral compass cross with the limits of a couple's generosity.

Advertisement
  • 01
    10 EMBR
    via canva
  • 02
    Posted by u/Im_Trying_Mate 4 hours ago AITA for telling my in laws they are too poor to go on vacation right now?
    via Im_Trying_Mate
  • 03
    My in laws recently sold their house and moved in with my wife and I because they are struggling financially, maxed out credit cards, a mountain of medical debt, an equity line of credit against their prior house, no retirement savings, and more items I'm sure they haven't been upfront about. They will not have enough to pay everything outright after their house closes.
    via Im_Trying_Mate
  • 04
    We are doing this to help them gain their footing again and pay off as much debt as possible so they can afford to either rent or buy a new home. Recently, they started talking about wanting to go on a "proper vacation"
    via Im_Trying_Mate
  • 05
    and started looking at going on cruises, and are playing the pitty card that they haven't been on a real vacation in about 30 years. I told them they are too poor to go on vacation right now and need to focus on saving money, paying debt and getting a place of their own.
    via Im_Trying_Mate
  • 06
    EnergyThat1518 - 4 hr. ago Aficionado [12] NTA. I think you need to have a realistic discussion with them alongside your wife that you are digging them out of this hole out of kindness.
    via EnergyThat1518
  • 07
    They have to take this time to learn financial responsibility and how to manage their spending to not spend more than they have and not waste their time fantasising about how to take advantage of you doing this to take a fanciful vacation.
    via EnergyThat1518
  • 08
    Honestly, they might have to cut up their credit cards after paying them off - credit cards are literally designed to take advantage of people that are bad at managing their money. You have to have impulse control and it doesn't sound like they have that to manage credit cards wisely.
    via EnergyThat1518
  • 09
    And if they decide to go off on a cruise or waste their money on a vacation, they'll have to find somewhere else to go. Because you're not going to pour money into getting rid of their debts, so they can dig
    via EnergyThat1518
  • 10
    the same hole next to got the one you JUST rid of. The hole is BAD and if they're just going to dig a new one when you get them out of this one, why should you even get them out of this one?
    via EnergyThat1518
  • 11
    Prize-Bumblebee-21924 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [28] ΝΤΑ They don't know how to manage their finances. You're hosting them to help and it's disrespectful and taking advantage of your kindness and generosity to spend money on things they can't afford when they should be working towards the goal of moving out of your house.
    via Prize-Bumblebee-21924
  • 12
    PDK1125 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. Congratulations, you are now their retirement plan. Do they work? How does your spouse feel about the situation? Are they willing to kick out their parents if they don't want to move out after a set amount of time? The only thing I would offer is to take them to a money manager and apartment shopping, in that order. Give them a set time to move out.
    via PDK1125
  • 13
    Halfhand1956. 3 hr. ago This is my thoughts exactly. They have no intention of "paying off their debts". Their daughter and son in law will take care of them. Just have to love a leach.
    via Halfhand1956
  • 14
    cheesus32 2 hr. ago For real though, my first thought was this is their retirement plan now, you won't be able to get rid of them if at this age they handle money so poorly. I would have told them to declare bankruptcy or see a professional for their options.
    via cheesus32
  • 15
    Hippopotasaurus-Rex . 3 hr. ago Partassipant [1] "If you have money to spend on a proper vacation, you have money to live on your own." Personally, I'd let them face the consequences of all their bad financial choices and kick them out (with a 60 day notice). They clearly haven't learned, and don't want to. I feel like you've set yourself up to have them live with you until they die.
    via Hippopotasaurus-Rex
  • 16
    mbuurkarl 47 min. ago If you go on vacation, your things will be packed up and on the porch. NTA.
    via mbuurkarl
  • 17
    Canadian_01.4 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [27] NTA and I hope your spouse is on your side. What is the arrangement? ARe they paying you rent of some kind? Is there an end in sight? You need to nail down these things with them so they don't just become forever-guests.
    via Canadian_01.4
  • 18
    If they have the nerve to vacation now when they are broke, I don't believe they'll feel too badly about oversaying their welcome. Please talk about this with your spouse and set down some ground rules for moving out and/or paying rent.
    via Canadian_01.4
  • 19
    Successful_Bath1200 4 hr. ago Supreme Court Just- [141] NTA for telling them this But YTA for letting them stay at your house. You will never get rid of them, that financial footing you talk about will never happen.
    via Successful_Bath1200
  • 20
    Saberise 2 hr. ago Partassipant [4] This right there OP. Right now you should be breaking out in a cold sweat because unless things drastically change they will never have the means to move. Did you not set ground rules going into this?
    via Saberise
  • 21
    Trevena_Ice 4 hr. ago Certified Proctologist [29] NTA. This was only the truth. And if they trie to pressure it, tell them. If they have the money to go on vacation, they have the money to move out. Or to live on the cruise (as it is cheaper as a retirement home, I heard ^^)
    via Trevena_Ice
  • 22
    . TemptingPenguin369 · 4 hr. ago Craptain [161] NTA. In general, it's not your business to tell others how to spend their money. However, by moving in with you, they made it your business and you were correct to tell them so. I'd make that a dealbreaker for them staying with you if I were in your spot.
    via TemptingPenguin369

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boomer lavish finance moving in parenting finances debt gen x baby boomers boomers reality broken retirement parent savings money parents vacation moving out
Scroll Down For The Next Article