Woman Puts Ultimatum On Cheating Husband to Install Tracking App On His Phone, He Refuses, Further Inflicting Trust Issues

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  • 01
    now we're in this weird limbo where he's "still considering" the app but wants us to go to couples therapy first—when i've made it very clear, the app has to come first. he cheated on me for 2 years, i feel like i'm allowed at least 1 ultimatum. AITA? should we just divorce and i should stop wasting my time?
  • 02
    r/AITAH ⚫ 17 hr. ago throwawaycheatinghu AITA for having an ultimatum after discovering my husband's 2-year affair
  • 03
    hi throwaway account because unfortunately this story is very real. 3 weeks ago, i saw some texts on my (33f) husband's (33m) phone and learned he has been having a full blown affair for the past 2 years. we have been married for 6 years, and together for 14. he insists this is the only person he's
  • 04
    ever cheated with but they said "i love you" and i found love notes and a stupid embroidery thing she made him squirreled away in his home office.
  • 05
    i don't know if it's possible for me to ever trust him again when i had to catch him after 2 years of cheating (and not wearing a condom and not getting tested, all while still very much having with me). he wants to go to couples therapy but i told him i wouldn't feel comfortable working on our relationship until
  • 06
    he let me put a tracker app on his phone, since honestly the part of the cheating bothers me so much less than the attention and love part (he deleted 990+ texts between them and i was only able to screenshot a couple. it's my understanding that permanently deleting the texts was a frequent occurrence and this was just the most recent batch). it's not even
  • 07
    about having access to his phone as much as it's about the gesture of him installing the app, showing he has nothing (more) to hide.
  • 08
    AITA for making this tracking app an ultimatum for moving forward? i thought this man was the love of my life, we had the most beautiful wedding, i'm so integrated into his family who i love dearly but the morning he came to get his stuff he told me he changed his mind about letting me install the app after he had already agreed to it.
  • 09
    now we're in this weird limbo where he's "still considering" the app but wants us to go to couples therapy first-when i've made it very clear, the app has to come first. he cheated on me for 2 years, i feel like i'm allowed at least 1 ultimatum. AITA? should we just divorce and i should stop wasting my time?
  • 10
    EDIT: we do not have kids and i got tested for STDs first thing.
  • 11
    Thistime232 17h ago He's been cheating for 2 , but years. And not just emotionally as well, telling her he loves her. Even with a tracking app, how could you ever trust him again? This wasn't some one time thing, this was ongoing, he had plenty of time to consider
  • 12
    his actions, and how it would effect you, and still didn't stop. In fact, it sounds like he wouldn't have stopped had he not been caught (that's assuming he actually has stopped even now). And the fact that he's against installing the app, not exactly a sign that he's
  • 13
    going to stop cheating on you. I'm sure this hurts, and I'm sorry for what you're going through, but its time to move on.
  • 14
    • Jammin4B 16h ago YTA, but to yourself. To even consider rebuilding a relationship with someone that has lied to you for 2 years, put your health at risk by having unprotected and is only now talking about couples therapy
  • 15
    because he got caught, is just crazy to me. Sorry to be harsh, but this man does not love or value you, and whether it's now, or further down the line (so even more of your time wasted) unless you're
  • 16
    comfortable to proceed in a marriage with no trust or respect, then this relationship is over.
  • 17
    Chimsley99 17h ago Sorry but to me anyone who is found out having a multi year affair from their spouse should expect divorce without any need for communicating thru it. Honestly anything you demand to "work on it" couldn't be seen as
  • 18
    unreasonable to me unless you pitched chaining him up in the basement so he couldn't cheat. I can't imagine being able to work thru that, might just want to take time to think your future thru and realize it needs to end. How can you two ever have a trusting relationship again?
  • 19
    74Magick 16h ago Get rid of him. You can still be close to his family, I'm still very close to my ex's Mom, I call her my Bonus Mom, and we split over a decade ago. NTA
  • 20
    Beck2010 17h ago For two years he has lied to you. Actively deceived you. Deleted the texts and all evidence easily found. Putting an app on his phone. will do nothing.
  • 21
    You realize he's still cheating, right? Why stay with this person? He has no respect for you, or your marriage. Right now, you need to realize he's not going to change. He only feels a little bit guilty because he was caught. Not because he cheated on you.

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