'I thought she was joking': Mom of newborn asks for a new car for 'push present,' husband responds she's not worthy

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 30, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Social media changes our real lives in so many unexpected ways. We're more aware of how we look on camera, which has led to a rise in cosmetic surgeries. We're more closely locked into trend cycles, which causes styles to come and go at a rate hitherto unknown. And we're inventing new phrases and words that change the way we live our lives. One of those is the concept of a "push present." If you haven't heard of them, they're a gift given to someone who has just given birth, usually by the other parent, to thank them for the labor of well, labor. It's a new concept, as far as I'm aware, but folks on social media have taken to it quickly. 

But is the concept just a form of entitlement? And how expensive should a push present be? One couple found themselves arguing over this, and things got quickly heated. Read on for the details.

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    Cheezburger Image 10411014912
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 02
    AITAH for telling my wife she is not worthy of what she's asking for, for her "push present"?
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 03
    My wife and I have been together for 5 years. She's pregnant with our first right now.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 04
    Few days ago, she sends me a TikTok video of a woman over one of those extremist podcasts talking about deserving some kind of a "push present". At first I didn't even know what that meant. But when I looked it up, it's basically a thank you gift to the woman who brought your child in the world.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 05
    This concept is and still seems very strange to me. I understand seeking appreciation from your husband for what women go through during pregnancy and childbirth, but it's the materialistic part that gave me the ick. The woman on the TikTok went on and on about how it's a "body for a body" which meant the man would have to get a permanent tattoo on his lower body, give her a house and a car as a gift exclusively to her.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 06
    I felt that those expectations are very entitled, honestly a little vindictive, envious (permanent tattoo part) and very over the top for my taste. The decision to bring a child in the world is both partner's decision. My wife in our case is not forced to be a mom or be pregnant, as she wants to be a parent too.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 07
    I simply replied to the tiktok with laughing emojis and moved on, thinking it was the end of it and probably thought she meant to send that tiktok as a satire, like: "oh look how dumb this woman is, thinking she deserves all that"
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 08
    She was in the other room when I reacted to the video, so she comes to me and tells me that she doesn't expect a tattoo and a house exclusively for her, but she wants me to dip into my personal savings to get her a car exclusively for her. I looked at her, almost shocked and began laughing. I thought my wife and I had similar views on how extremist people can be, and I was wrong.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 09
    I thought she was joking, and I pressed her if she was actually serious, she got very annoyed that I thought she was joking and probably imitating the entitled woman on the reel and she flatly said that she expects a real push present.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 10
    I said that her gift is the gift of parenthood and the realised outcome of a healthy baby. And materially speaking, I'll probably gift her a Mother's Day card, a day out or some jewellery she wants (total under 700 dollars), but nothing more. I said if she really wants an extra car, it'll be "OUR" car, not just hers. She pressed more and said how it isn't enough for what she will go through.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 11
    She kept pushing and pushing and asked me if I think she's not worthy enough. I told her she is worthy as my partner and the mother of my child, but she has to be realistic and realise that none of us, individually speaking, worthy of what she's asking for. That she has to manage her expectations because I don't see why she feels she deserves that. is
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
  • 12
    It came out wrong but I didn't mean to dismiss her as a person. She isn't speaking to me and is crying arguing about it. I heard her criticising me to her sister on the phone but under no circumstances would I ever considering gifting HER a car. I feel bad she is hurting right now but I don't feel bad for giving her a reality check.
    via u/throwra-pushpresent
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    SoMoistly Moist • 20h ago • For the Love of cheezits I wish people would stay off those stupid Tiktok videos
    via u/SoMoistlyMoist
  • 14
    Entertainmentlcy8672 17h ago • NTA • The idea of giving a gift to the mother after labor isn't surprising to me-it's a nice gesture to show appreciation and help her feel better after everything! But it really depends on the couple and their financial situation (flowers, jewelry, or other gifts, with prices varying based on what you're comfortable with). However, asking for a house, car, and a tattoo (seriously?) is over the top and, unless you're extremely wealthy, completely unreasonable.
    via u/Entertainmentlcy8672
  • 15
    SexyGrimmy • 20h ago NTA • The concept of giving a gift to the mother after labor doesn't shock me tbh, just a small gesture to show appreciation and make momma feel good and a bit better after the ordeal! but it depends on the couple and financial conditions ( flowers, jewelry, other gifts etc.. Pricing varies depending on your confort). But asking for a house, car and tattoo ( (?) Is extreme and unless you're nasty rich, it's unreasonable.
    via u/S***Grimmy
  • 16
    a-mullins214 • 21h ago Nta, I'm pregnant, and my husband is going to gift me birthstone jewelery, and I'm gifting him a watch with an engraving. Those tiktok videos absolutely wreck relationships. My sil at one point almost left my bil because he wouldn't make her a "boo basket" for Halloween. Idk why women follow relationship advice from tiktok.
    via u/a-mullins214
  • 17
    uptownbrowngirl 20h ago My push present was a baby
    via u/uptownbrowngirl
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    • Competitive_Key_2981 21h ago • Social media is destroying relationships at an alarming rate.
    via u/Competitive_Key_2981
  • 19
    Sensitive-World7272 17h ago. • "her gift is the gift of parenthood and the realised outcome of a healthy baby" In all fairness, that's what you get too, and you just have to sit back and watch another person do the work for you. I'm not a push present person, but you should probably show a little more gratitude than that.
    via u/Sensitive-World7272
  • 20
    Traditional-Teach180 16h ago • • I'm not going to lie. I cringed at "You gift is the gift of parenthood." That sounds like some my own dad would say to me. "It builds character, sport." Yes, a car, a house, a tattoo you don't want are all extreme. But perhaps your wife isn't feeling appreciated. And there's no way in I'd ever, even not coming out right, say to my wife, "You're not worth x."
    via u/Traditional-Teach180

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childcare Babies aita infant kids moms parenting dad cute kids pregnant reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS push present gifts
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