‘You're bringing tension to the office’: Employee confronts new hire after they refused to listen to her training, new hire claims they can figure out everything on their own

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 2, 2024 9:00 AM EDT

In every scenario, there can be more than one way to do things correctly, especially when it comes to work. Not everyone, even if they have the same role, does everything in the exact same way, and that is completely reasonable. Every employee finds their own rhythm and methods to do their job, and as long as the job gets done well, there shouldn't be any problems.

When a new hire comes in, it makes sense that they would turn to their coworkers for guidance, but it is not a necessity. If they feel like they have control over the work, there is no reason why they should not be allowed to try. This is what the new hire (OP, original poster) in this Reddit story expected out of her coworkers. That was until one of her coworkers decided she was meant to be training OP, and was upset when OP said she was doing fine on her own.

Keep scrolling to read the rest of the story. After that, click here for a story of an entitled family who caused their flight to be delayed.

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  • 01
    "I don't have time to sit and watch how you do things"
    via shironosov

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling my new coworker that she's not training me?
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 03
    I (23) have started a new job that i'm a week into. I was brought on by the manager/owner because | have a fair chunk of experience and he was looking for a plug/play situation. I have been
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 04
    managing a full volume work flow while still figuring out where everything is/etc. I have been receiving praise from the two owners and my other
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 05
    coworkers so I have been feeling that everything is going pretty well. Until yesterday when my new coworker (32), who is in the same job role as me, confronted me at
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 06
    the end of the day and told me "you're resistant to be trained and just because you have experience doesn't me you know how we do things here."
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 07
    She had snapped at me a few times in the past week when I had questions saying "this isn't your other jobs." She then launched into telling me that the manager has this crazy
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 08
    temper and has made her cry, that she wasn't allowed to do anything her first two weeks and that she was just watching. She mentioned that she didn't have experience prior and that it was a very hard initiation.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 09
    She also told me that she is an easy going person who everyone likes and it's weird that i'm bringing tension into her space.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 10
    I was blindsided by this because I hadn't been feeling this way at all. I have been asking her questions and she has either not answered me or directed me to the manager.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 11
    I apologized for stepping on her toes and told her that I would conscientious of listening to her. But ultimately she's not training me and I have been learning as I go, I don't have time to sit and watch how she does every little thing.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 12
    I also said that i'm not only getting to know the work but everyone that works here, and that I didn't feel we had the rapport for this to be anything more than a misunderstanding.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 13
    She was visibly upset and told me "you'll see what he's like." She also said that she's fine and that's why she's bringing it up because she doesn't like how it's been and she's a nice person. AITA for telling her she's not training me?
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 14
    BirthdayCookie Enthusiast [9] NTA. This person seems to be under the impression that you asking questions means she's your trainer? That's not really how a job works. Just stop asking her the questions. Let her be the "nice person" she is in her mind.
    via BirthdayCookie
  • 15
    GamesDontStop Aficionado [19] NTA. It sounds like she sees how well you're doing, how quickly you're learning, and how much the management likes you. She may be worried that you could end up replacing her or she may just lost her "favored" status and is lashing out.
    via GamesDontStop
  • 16
    Suitable_Apple_6706 OP I have felt that maybe this whole thing has very little to do with me and more to do with her relationship with our manager/the company. But wanted to explore my role in it.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 17
    squidthesquidgoat 2+2=4. But so is 3+1. There can be more than one correct way. "thanks for your input" or "thanks for offering to help but I will let you know if I have any questions or need clarification" are my go to phrases. Nta. You'll find annoying coworkers anywhere you work.
    via squidthesquidgoat
  • 18
    Suitable_Apple_6706 OP That's helpful, thank you.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 19
    Alfred-Register7379 Partassipant [3] NTA. If she doesn't have a title, like she's your superior, then she obviously doesn't know how to train you completely. Choose someone else to ask questions.
    via Alfred-Register7379
  • 20
    And just be cordial with her. "Good morning", and "Good- Bye". No conversations.
    via Alfred-Register7379
  • 21
    Suitable Apple... OP Suitable_Apple... Totally agree there
    via Suitable_Apple_6706
  • 22
    External-Hamster-991 Yikes!!! That is a LOT of dysfunction to display at work and to badmouth the manager to you? Wow. Keep doing what you're doing and don't give her any emotional responses to her emotional outbursts.
    via External-Hamster-991
  • 23
    NTA. Have your manager follow up with her about your role and reporting structure if she makes it necessary, but otherwise, just smile at her a lot, be SUPER respectful in emails, and keep your distance.
    via External-Hamster-991
  • 24
    Suitable_Apple_6706 OP Her bad-mouthing the manager and the other girl who used to work in my role has been a major red flag to me. Especially when I have seen nothing to support the claims about our manager. She also mentioned that he may seem nice but he's not "open to your ideas" and that he's very strict.
    via Suitable_Apple_6706

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boss aita workplace-stories employee manager job tales-from-the-workplace new hire coworkers reddit story workplace training Reddit company entitled people
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