'We don't need to be around each other 24/7': Woman invites her entire family on sister-in-law's 8-day vacation

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 25, 2024 3:00 PM EST

After saving up for a trip for ages, this family suddenly realized that had a few unwanted guests trying to tag along. 

No one ever said it'd be easy to plan a family trip! There are so many details that go into bringing a trip to fruition. Step one, though, is usually knowing who is going on your trip. This person, u/Altruistic_North1050, thought they were planning an 8-day trip with their husband and two kids, but then her sister-in-law got involved. It would seem that the husband's side of the family love spending all of their time together. They can't understand why someone would want to take a vacation with just their immediate family! 

This person was really craving that alone time with their kids and husband, but the husband's family has been unrelenting with the pressure to go. In fact, this person revealed that their husband "says I've hurt his family's feelings." It was pretty tacky for them to assume they were invited alone, and even tackier for them to begin planning a trip in the same exact destination. What a hot mess! You can read all about it below, as well as the reactions from commenters, who gave them some sage advice. 

Up next, this employee was horrified to discover they'd sent an unpleasant email to their boss by accident. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10432436992
    via Iris on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for not wanting to spend the entire vacation sun up to sun down with my husband's family?
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 03
    My husband and I were planning a vacation for us and our 2 kids. We'll be gone for 8 days in the summer. We've saved for this trip for years and were super excited.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 04
    This place is about 3 hours away from my husband's family. They invited us to spend some days with them. However, from the start I said I wanted alone time with just the 4 of us. With the kids getting older, we don't get a lot of time with them. We don't
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 05
    have the money to travel often. I suggested 3-4 days with his family, then we'd go to the actual vacation spot. I also set the boundary we'd stay in a hotel. They all seemed to agree.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 06
    Then out of nowhere, my husband's family decided to go to our vacation spot for the full 8 days. That's when the hints began that we all get a house to rent. I said no. I love my husband's family but it'd just be too much and I wanted time just us. We don't need to be around each other 24/7. After that, my SIL started making plans for all 8 days that included us.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 07
    I put my foot down to my husband and said no. We could spend 4 days with his family, maybe 5. But I wanted just a few just us. We never get to go on vacation. And his family visits once or twice a year so it's not like we don't see them.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 08
    My husband says I've hurt his family's feelings. When I spoke to my SIL she said I should understand why it hurts I won't spend the entire time with them. I asked how they'd feel if they planned a trip and we tried to change the plan. She said family does this stuff for each other.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 09
    Now, I'm already dreading the trip and wonder if I'm being over dramatic and should just give in to avoid drama. AITA?
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 10
    Edit: As it's already been asked: we chose this spot because it's somewhere our kids have always wanted to go. Of course we can't give them everything they want in life, but now we can finally afford it. As I said, we never get to vacation and I wanted to give this to them.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 11
    Edit 2: We can't cancel/change dates as we put down non- refundable deposits.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 12
    Edit 3: I understand that it is Reddit and people expect the craziest things to happen. I understand the concern that my husband would give them the address to the Air B&B and they'd just show up to intrude on our "off days". However, knowing them, they aren't the type to do
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 13
    this. They will respect the actual boundary but then you'll hear about it for the next 5 years. I am positive that they won't intrude on our "off days". I'm sure people will call me naïve, but my husband and I have been married 20 years. I know his family. This is how they are.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 14
    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a_h_le: 1. not wanting to spend the whole vacation with family 2) they are just excited and want to visit with us.
    via u/Altruistic_North1050
  • 15
    camebacklate NTA my in-laws did this. It ruined the entire vacation. If I were you, I would book the hotel and let them know that accommodations have already been made.
    via u/camebacklate
  • 16
    Dittoheadforever You're NTA. She said family does this stuff for each other. Yeah, the Barone family maybe. Not normal, healthy families.
    via u/Dittoheadforever
  • 17
    StAlvis NTA This place is about 3 hours away from my husband's family. That's too far to even be worth thinking about.
    via u/StAlvis
  • 18
    My husband says I've hurt his family's feelings. They can feel free to toughen up. No, f I suggested 3-4 days with his family even that. You're going on vacation. Family visits aren't vacations.
    via u/StAlvis
  • 19
    ironchef8000 When I spoke to my SIL she said I should understand why it hurts I won't spend the entire time with them. Huh?! Because you want to spend time with your own family. Because SIL and her
    via u/ironchef8000
  • 20
    fam invited themselves on your vacation. You've graciously offered to spend a few days with this side of the family. But this is your trip. You need boundaries, and not to be manipulated into feeling SIL's pain. NTA
    via u/ironchef8000

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